Unspoken: The Continuing Story

[taterbot]

by popular demand (following the discovery of the missing parts of "maternity leave" (http://www.lost-forum.com/showthread.php?t=29101&page=14)), taterbot is proud to present:

THE KISS: Now in Glorious UnspokenVision!

dedicated to josh + evie for acting the hell out of their scenes together and to leah kate, because the authoress of "in hiding" and "on the road" cannot be honored enough

SawyerUnspoken: You know, torture's not all it's cracked up to be. Ow...Well, hello, Freckles. If you don't mind me saying so, you look damn fine in "sullen and resentful."

KateUnspoken: Oh, Sawyer. Whatever am I going to do with you and your pretty, pretty hair? [sighs]

"So, I'm here. Where is it?"

KateUnspoken: I can't believe you dragged me out here for this. Someone needs to keep an mournful eye on the waves, you know? And there's also some sand slightly to the north of us that still needs to be gazed at wistfully. I'm a busy woman! Let's get on with it.

"Happy to tell you. Soon as I get that kiss."

SawyerUnspoken: We could do some other stuff, too, but you'll have to untie me for that. I'll need my hands.

"What? Are you serious?"

KateUnspoken: I can't believe you're still on that kiss thing. Was getting me drunk gonna be too prosaic for you?

"Baby, I'm tied to a tree in a jungle of mystery. I just got tortured by a damn spinal surgeon and a genuine I-raqi. 'Course I'm serious. You're just not seein' the big picture here, Freckles. You really gonna let that girl suffocate because you couldn't bring yourself to give me one little kiss? Hell, it's first base. Lucky for you I ain't greedy."

SawyerUnspoken: Okay, I'm totally greedy. But she doesn't need to know that. Is she actually buying this?

"Okay."

KateUnspoken: I can't believe I'm actually buying this.

"Okay."

SawyerUnspoken: Damn I'm good.

[She kneels down. They make eye contact, and she leans into kiss him.]

KateUnspoken: Well, thank god I brushed my teeth this morning.

SawyerUnspoken: Oh, by the way, little kiss or not, there's gonna be tongue. You know that, right?

[The kiss begins.]

KateUnspoken: Interesting. What else you got?

[He kisses her again. She shudders.]

KateUnspoken: Um, I'm gonna shut up now. Because...damn.

[They pause for just a moment.]

KateUnspoken: Wait--you're not stopping, are you?

SawyerUnspoken: Girl, I'm just gettin' started.

KateUnspoken: Well thank god. As you were.

[The kiss continues.]

KateUnspoken: This is might be the last kiss I'll ever need. Oh. My. God. Wait, what? How did this even happen?

[She breaks it off.]

KateUnspoken: Can you feel naughty and nice--really, really nice--at the same time? And why can't I breathe?

[They make eye contact.]

SawyerUnspoken: Holy. Sh*t.

KateUnspoken: You know synesthesia, where you can hear colors and see music? I think that might be happening to me. Do you think it's possible to experience emotions in your body? Because I have this feeling in my muscles and my nerves and my bones. It's...trippy.

SawyerUnspoken: I'm so screwed.

"I don't have it."

KateUnspoken: "It"? No, I can assure you that "It" you've got in spades.

"What?"

KateUnspoken: Seriously, what are you talking about? And where did you learn how to do that, anyway? And who else have you done it with? Because I want them all dead. I know that's petty, but I just discovered I don't like to share.

"The medicine. I don't have it. Never did."

KateUnspoken: Ooooh! The girl who was suffocating. Right. Asthma medication. Right...HEY!

"The book. They said you found it in their luggage."

KateUnspoken: I can't believe I fell for the old suffocating girl line. God! I'm so stupid!

"Book washed up on shore. Went in the drink with the rest of the--"

[Kate clocks him.]

SawyerUnspoken: Ow. OW! You know, sweetheart, if you screw half as well as you hit, we're gonna get along just fine.

[SKaN0n56]

:clap: HAH!!awesome!!the "Unspoken" parts were jus :rotflol: :crackup: :rotflol: omg.funny, taterbot, funny. :D :giggle:

[Toxic]

:rotflol: I wrote a Skate one-shot "Unspoken" a while ago, so I had to do a double-take for this thread title. Good stuff.

It DID really seem that Kate forgot what the hell she was there for about .04815 seconds into the kiss.

[Lo.Lee.Ta.]

that. was. amazing.

[Adelheid]

:rotflol: LMFAO :crackup: :bowdown:

[*Kiwi*]

Omg, I'm seriously laughing my head off here. (My partner just came in to see what all the noise was about :giggle:) Excellent break down of a great scene :w00t:

[Athalia]

LMAO. I officially love you. :bowdown:

[Marystat]

:crackup: that was just too funny!!

[tweety]

Great stuff! :tiphat:

Love unspoken but it is heard. :D

[~Freckles~]

OMG i love you :bowdown:
that was just awesome!

[Kath]

I LOVE you.. that was.. well pretty much what they must have thought during the Kiss. Words are only 7% of comunication... always wonder what people really think...

[Wish]

LOL! :rotflol: brilliant taterbot, I bet this is what they were actually thinking:nod:

[lizziefitz]

SawyerUnspoken: Damn I'm good.

Almost as good as you, Taterbot!

[Aicy]

"Ooooh! The girl who was suffocating. Right. Asthma medication. Right...HEY!"

loool roflmao XD great.... the whole thing was hilarious and fits so well :D
please write more stuff like that for other scenes :w00t:

[oona]

:eek: that is so brilliant! I love it! :rotflol: moore, please! :clap:

[Eternal_Darkness]

:crackup: :thud:

That was hilarious, and I am definitely going to be thinking of this next time I watch Con Man.

[demented drummer]

That was awesome... *phew* :hot:

[Leah Kate]

It's dedicated to me just for the hell of it? Awww!!! I'm so honored. :hug2:

This is one of the most entertaining things that's ever been posted in this forum, I do believe.

Someone needs to keep an mournful eye on the waves, you know? And there's also some sand slightly to the north of us that still needs to be gazed at wistfully.
That is SOOO Kate! LMAO. That part completely cracked me up.

Seriously, what are you talking about? And where did you learn how to do that, anyway? And who else have you done it with? Because I want them all dead. I know that's petty, but I just discovered I don't like to share.
:rotflol: That's perfect.

The whole thing was just hilarious. You MUST do more of these! You've discovered your calling, and we neeeeed you. ;)

[jnyuj]

Wow! That was fantastic. You can't possibly stop there! Please keep going! :D

[*Roxy*]

Taterbot, you are fantastic. :D

That is one of the most incredibly entertaining things I've read. I would love to see you right fanfic about them, because I believe you have their personalities down completely. You are amazing! The first one you did relating to ML was truly mesmerising, I loved reading every second. The way you put everything so bluntly is just the kind of thing that sounds realistic, because people are like that when they think you know? They know no one else can hear them.. so the thoughts we keep to ourselves are private.. and therefore often absurd and ridiculous.. or embarrassing. I love how you were able to voice this idea so eloquently and with great intelligence.. but you kept the humour in as a massive factor.

This was truly gorgeous.. can't wait to read the next one. :D This thread is going to become veeeery popular. ;)

[chel_bel89]

wow! :crackup: that was so hilarious! i'm hope you make another one soon. maybe the " i never " scene, or them at the waterfall!

[Aicy]

yep, "I never" would be perfect, especially that thing with the "one night stand"
^^

[waitsleeplessly]

That was great! :rotflol: The 'unspoken thoughts' fit them so well.

[Sawyer&Me]

Taterbot, thank you so much for deciding to continue these....and in your own very special thread!!

The CM Unspoken! kiss scene was fantastic.

I really hope that you'll be doing more of these very soon...:yourock: :clap: :lotsalove :boogie: :banana:

[Darbi]

:rotflol:

Bot, you have no idea how much I needed this laugh. I was just in a car accident...so I was feeling rather down. Flippin' hilarious! Especially the part about the mournful looks at the waves and wistful gaze at some sand up the north shore. :D

Genius.

[Eternal_Darkness]

Oh, I hope no one was hurt!

[Toxic]

I was just in a car accident...so I was feeling rather down.
Eek. I just learned the other day that one of my high school classmates was killed in a car crash a week ago :( Hope everything was okay with you.

[Niniel]

That was aewsome!:thud::rotflol:

I'm so sorry Darbi Aand Toxic:( I hope you're both okay:hug:

[Darbi]

Eek. I just learned the other day that one of my high school classmates was killed in a car crash a week ago :( Hope everything was okay with you.

Oh, Tox, I'm sorry to hear that. :hug:


I'm fine. My baby (I call her Amber) is bruised up, but she's still driveable. My poor little superficial pride is wounded because I don't want to ride around in a busted up car.

[Arachne]

Glad to hear you're okay.

Words can not describe what I think about pieces. :crackup: :rotflol:

And I second the vote for the "I never" scene. :)

[villana81]

OMG!! I love this :giggle: , it's amazing!! wow skaters come up with the best ideas to spend our time in skaterland :D

Keep it going please!!

[mrs ford]

that was so great. you have sawyer and kate down
more please!

[taterbot]

to tide yall over until new onscreen skate, taterbot is proud to present:

SAWYER WAKES UP (YAY!): Now in Glorious UnspokenVision!

dedicated to josh + evie for acting the hell out of their scenes together and to the show writers, for putting so much great invisotext between the dialogue that makes it onscreen

Kate: "Can you hear me? Sawyer?"

SawyerUnspoken: Ughnh guhhh. Five more minutes.

"Wayne? I'm probably crazy, but maybe you're in there somehow. But you asked me a question. You asked me why I--why I did it. It wasn't because you drove my father away, or the way you looked at me, or because you beat her. It's because I hated that you were a part of me--that I would never be good. That I would never have anything good. And every time that I look at Sawyer--every time I feel something for him--I see you, Wayne. It makes me sick."

SawyerUnspoken: Alright, alright, I'm awake! But for crissakes, you've got to work on the timing of your heartwarming expressions of affection--I was having a great dream about cracking Ana-Lucia's skull open. Baby, if you weren't so damn adorable you'd be a real buzzkill.

Sawyer: "That's about the sweetest thing I've ever heard."

KateUnspoken: Sawyer, if that's you, you should know that your standards for sweetness are much too low. And if it's not you, well, thank you, Wayne, once again, for crushing my soul and pulverizing my heart in a blender of pain.

Kate: "Sawyer?"

KateUnspoken: Wayne, so help me, if you are messing around inside Sawyer's head, I will climb down into hell just to kill you all over again.

Sawyer: "But who the hell is Wayne?"

SawyerUnspoken: Boyfriend? Bookie? Pen pal? Give me some context here, Freckles. I'm trying to decide if I should be jealous, homicidal or amused.

KateUnspoken: Oh, Sawyer. You're the hottest, funniest, altogether bestest half-dead guy I've ever been nearly strangled by. I missed you, you perverted jerk. Welcome home.

Sawyer: "I'm in a bunk-bed?"

SawyerUnspoken: I totally reserved the California King, but, oh well, I suppose we can improvise something. You know that thing about "necessity being the mother of invention"? Applies first and foremost to sexual positions. I'm just sayin'.

Kate: "Yeah, you're in a bunk-bed."

KateUnspoken: How the hell did you manage to use the word "bed" in a sentence within five seconds of regaining consciousness?

SawyerUnspoken: I wonder if she can tell I've been saving up all my dirty thoughts just for her. Saving. Saved. Oh yeah. Almost forgot for a second there about being stranded on a desert island with sharks and pirates and freakin' Jack.

Sawyer: "Are we saved?"

KateUnspoken: Saved. Saving. Oh yeah, by the way, I should mention that was totally saving myself for you, Sawyer, but then, uh, Jack's lips got in my way. Sorry about that.

SawyerUnspoken: Because if we are--saved, that is--you and me? We're going to Vegas, baby. I have plans for us. For starters, we’re gonna get incredibly drunk and do it on every available surface of the Flamingo Suite at the Bellagio.

Kate: "No, Sawyer. Not yet."

SawyerUnspoken: Okay, fine, hotel-room Jacuzzi sex is overrated anyway. But when you and me get back there, Freckles, that lagoon of dead bodies ain't gonna know what hit it.

[kkay313]

Bot, that was totally hilarious and cute all at the same time. great job.

you gotta do WTCMB waterfall scene. or even tackle scene. actually....ANY scene from WTCMB. hehe. :D

great job

[*Roxy*]

Beautifully funny! I love the tender and hilarious thoughts you convey at the same time.. it's incredible Taterbot! :D Amazing work. :glomp:

[GeminiCrickett]

:bowdown: amazing stuff!

Hilarious, sweet, sexy!

I want more!

(:bounce: Please?)

[villana81]

That was so funny!!!!!!!!:clap:
Loved the part taht says that she was saving herself for him, but Jack's lips got in the way :D .

[Miss26thofmay]

:boogie: Well done! That was so funny! :rotflol:

Oh yeah, by the way, I should mention that was totally saving myself for you, Sawyer, but then, uh, Jack's lips got in my way. Sorry about that.

Best reason so far! I have the theory, that she was scared of her feelings for Sawyer because of that Wayne stuff. (They both have issues, Libby will never run out of business on that island!), and tried to hook up with Jack, to deny them, but it didn't work. :w00t:

[Darbi]

:boogie: Well done! That was so funny! :rotflol:



Best reason so far! I have the theory, that she was scared of her feelings for Sawyer because of that Wayne stuff. (They both have issues, Libby will never run out of business on that island!), and tried to hook up with Jack, to deny them, but it didn't work. :w00t:

:crackup: Ain't that the truth? Genius.

Bot...that was hilarious!

[Titch22]

That was hilarious!!!:rotflol: :rotflol: :crackup: :crackup: :rotflol:

Love the Vegas idea sounds a fanfic waiting to happen.

[waitsleeplessly]

That was great! :rotflol: I love their 'thoughts'.

[ceci]

Taterbot you're a genius

[chel_bel89]

:crackup: wow! YOU are my HERO! that was hilarious.

[Arachne]

:D Wee... Fun! :crackup:

[Leah Kate]

I'm really late responding to this! I didn't even notice another "edition" had been posted.

Wayne, so help me, if you are messing around inside Sawyer's head, I will climb down into hell just to kill you all over again.
LMAO. Funny thing is, I can actually imagine Kate doing that. Especially if it somehow involved a hike through the jungle...

Oh, Sawyer. You're the hottest, funniest, altogether bestest half-dead guy I've ever been nearly strangled by. I missed you, you perverted jerk. Welcome home.
AWWWWW!! So adorable. :D

How the hell did you manage to use the word "bed" in a sentence within five seconds of regaining consciousness?
He did, didn't he?! How did I not notice that before? :giggle:

Okay, fine, hotel-room Jacuzzi sex is overrated anyway. But when you and me get back there, Freckles, that lagoon of dead bodies ain't gonna know what hit it.
I really hope that turns out to be a correct prediction. ;)

Amazing job, once again! You know, in all the years I've been watching TV obsessively and coming to message boards, I don't think I've ever seen anybody do these, nor has it ever occurred to me to do them. And I'm glad, because I'm convinced that NOBODY could do it as perfectly as you do. I think you've invented your own form of entertainment! Can't wait for more!

[Kath]

More!!!!

[LadyIrina]

I wish I could say how brilliant this is, but everyone has just about said what I felt so I'll just add in a :bowdown: and eagerly await more!! :hyper:

[PsychodelicS]

Wow ! You're good :D

I love the second one the most

'KateUnspoken: Oh, Sawyer. You're the hottest, funniest, altogether bestest half-dead guy I've ever been nearly strangled by. I missed you, you perverted jerk. Welcome home.'

That so cracked me up!

I want more!

[Fugitive]

Um... this thread has fallen back too many pages. We need more! ... please? :D

[Titch22]

Um... this thread has fallen back too many pages. We need more! ... please? :D
I second that

[Arachne]

Damn, I thought this was an update.

[taterbot]

You guys are sweet. I'm away for the weekend, but when I get back...I'll see if can apply my telepathy to the waterfall scene. :)

[*Roxy*]

The waterfall scene?! *dies of anticipation* You have no idea how excited that makes me girl. :thud:

:uberglomp: Thank you so much for doing something like this! It's so amazing, your talent is incredible. :D

[Cinderella85]

Sawyer: "That's about the sweetest thing I've ever heard."

KateUnspoken: Sawyer, if that's you, you should know that your standards for sweetness are much too low. And if it's not you, well, thank you, Wayne, once again, for crushing my soul and pulverizing my heart in a blender of pain.
Sawyer: "But who the hell is Wayne?"

SawyerUnspoken: Boyfriend? Bookie? Pen pal? Give me some context here, Freckles. I'm trying to decide if I should be jealous, homicidal or amused.
KateUnspoken: How the hell did you manage to use the word "bed" in a sentence within five seconds of regaining consciousness?
LMAO :crackup: Highly amusing, made my day :D You rock!:w00t:

[taterbot]

THE WATERFALL SCENE, PART I: Now in Glorious UnspokenVision!

this installment of "Kate and Sawyer: Everything They Didn't Say" is brought to you by Butterfly's music videos Silent Movie (http://media.putfile.com/Silent-Movie77) and Thank You for the Venom (http://media.putfile.com/Thank-You-For-the-Venom24), the official unofficial music video sponsors of UnspokenVision

[Fruit gathering, jungle walking, brush rustling. A twig snaps. Our heroine throws at a rock at the marauding whatever.]

"Ow! Son of a bitch! What the hell are you doing?"

SawyerUnspoken: You've got a mean fastball, Freckles, but save it for the Island all-star game. Damn! Christ. It's all fun and games until someone loses a kneecap. (And by someone, I mean me!)

KateUnspoken: Sawyer? Sawyer got off his lazy ass and followed me into the jungle? Hey, Sawyer likes me. Saw-yer likes me, Saw-yer likes me...and I find it oddly exciting. Weird.

"You stalking me?"

SawyerUnspoken: Hey! Just because you're so incredibly cute that I could eat you alive--starting with your adorable nose--that doesn't mean I would actually stalk you and eat you. I think you got me confused with that damn polar bear. Get a grip, woman.

"Stalking you? I was protecting you!"

KateUnspoken: Okay, you're right. I was being too harsh. It wasn't so much stalking as peeping. But what the hell kind of show did you think you were gonna get out here, anyway? Save your singles for Shannon's string-bikini show. Jeez.

"From what? Southern perverts?"

SawyerUnspoken: Hey, I have made some good money in my day by being a Southern pervert, so don't knock it till you've tried it, princess.

"Yeah, whatever. I can't believe you!"

KateUnspoken: You can't believe me? That's your own damn fault. I totally explained that I was unstable, unpeggable and unpredictable, and that you didn't know my type, but do you ever listen? Noooo. Sawyer smart! Sawyer know everything!

"It's not that bad."

KateUnspoken: By the way, that's "I'm sorry I hurt you" in Katespeak. It's a hard language to comprehend when you first encounter it, but you're...smart. You'll catch on eventually.

"It's my knee. I'll tell you how bad it is."

KateUnspoken: How bad is it?
SawyerUnspoken: It's as bad as it needs to be for me to finally get me your undivided attention.

"What the hell you doin' all the way out here anyway?"

KateUnspoken: Fighting crime. What does it look like I'm doing? Gathering. As in the part of hunting and gathering that reliably supplies the group with carbohydrates and vital calories. Try to cope, handsome.

"Everyone's been eating a lot. This is the only place the trees aren't picked clean."

SawyerUnspoken: Can't we pay some migrant farm workers to do that while we make out?

"Yeah, well, you shouldn't be out here alone. Not after what happened to--"

SawyerUnspoken: Whatshername. The blond one who can't operate a diaphragm.

"No, I'm fine. I can take care of myself."

KateUnspoken: If you've heard that the knight errant is rewarded for his chivalry by a kiss from the lady, you heard wrong, pervert.

SawyerUnspoken: You can take care of the other 40 people on this island, darlin', but it's painfully obvious that you cannot take care of yourself. So just shut up and relax. I ain't gonna hurt ya.

"Oh, of course. I don't need protecting. I can take care of myself. Me Kate. Me throw rock!"

KateUnspoken: Is this what girls mean when they say "I love the way he makes me laugh"? I never got that before. I always thought they were just saying that because their boyfriends were ugly.

"Shhh."

SawyerUnspoken: Wow. You just love a chance to ignore me, don't you?

"What? You smell blood on the wind?"

KateUnspoken: Some people love their mothers. Other people love their dogs. You? You love the sound of your own voice. Now hush--I'm trying to listen to something that's not you!

"You don't hear that?"

SawyerUnspoken: Dammit. Yo, Island--if anybody's gonna be whispering sweet nothings in this girl's ear, it's gonna be me, me and only me. So shut the hell up! Understand?

To be continued in Return of the Waterfall Scene and the Waterfall Scene Strikes Back, coming someday, probably soon, to a monitor near you!

[wingpack10]

Yay!!! I don't know why, but i hadn't read the first two installments yet and just did! And now the Waterfall scene! :w00t: You are awesome taterbot! I especially loved this part
[SIZE="3"]
KateUnspoken: By the way, that's "I'm sorry I hurt you" in Katespeak. It's a hard language to comprehend when you first encounter it, but you're...smart. You'll catch on eventually.
[/I]

It is so true! Keep 'em coming! I can't wait for the next! :w00t:

[Cinderella85]

"Yeah, well, you shouldn't be out here alone. Not after what happened to--"

SawyerUnspoken: Whatshername. The blond one who can't operate a diaphragm.
:crackup: Priceless!

[ceci]

Another good one taterbot :clap:

"What the hell you doin' all the way out here anyway?"

KateUnspoken: Fighting crime. What does it look like I'm doing? Gathering. As in the part of hunting and gathering that reliably supplies the group with carbohydrates and vital calories. Try to cope, handsome.

"Everyone's been eating a lot. This is the only place the trees aren't picked clean."

SawyerUnspoken: Can't we pay some migrant farm workers to do that while we make out?
:rotflol: My favorite part

[Athalia]

"Everyone's been eating a lot. This is the only place the trees aren't picked clean."

SawyerUnspoken: Can't we pay some migrant farm workers to do that while we make out?

LOL! :rotflol:

I love this thread.

[villana81]

I LOVE IT!!! :crackup:

[Miss26thofmay]

Amazing!

My favourite part:

KateUnspoken: Sawyer? Sawyer got off his lazy ass and followed me into the jungle? Hey, Sawyer likes me. Saw-yer likes me, Saw-yer likes me...and I find it oddly exciting. Weird.


:rotflol: Weren't we all chanting that in front of the TV?

Can't wait for the next part. The scene is far from over!

[Toxic]

"What the hell you doin' all the way out here anyway?"

KateUnspoken: Fighting crime. What does it look like I'm doing?

I seriously wish Kate was more snarky on the show. Her and Sawyer could go at it for hours!

... Talking, that is ;)

Well... :shifty:

[Darbi]

Bot, you slay me. Thanks for the morning laugh. :rotflol:

[*Roxy*]

Fantastic taterbot! The things Sawyer says unspoken almost make me choke up with the way you write them, I know they're supposed to be cute and funny.. but it comes across so sad and beautiful to me. :bawl: You're brilliant at this, I can't wait for part two where it will ALL be unspoken, tense sexual vibes.... mmmm I'm so excited. :D

[lostaholic16]

now that is what i call a romantic comedy...minus the cliches...and the whole "stuck-on-an-island" part...

[waitsleeplessly]

Great scene! :rotflol:

I loved this part:

KateUnspoken: You can't believe me? That's your own damn fault. I totally explained that I was unstable, unpeggable and unpredictable, and that you didn't know my type, but do you ever listen? Noooo. Sawyer smart! Sawyer know everything!

[chel_bel89]

SawyerUnspoken: Can't we pay some migrant farm workers to do that while we make out?

:crackup: i wish! man, you make my sides hurt! :rotflol:

[Toxic]

Random but, in doing so many caption stories lately, and reliving all of Jack's faces, I really thing we need some of the Jate scenes unspoken-ified ;) One could go on a hell of a snarking picnic with'm...

[Mmm_Sawyer]

^ I aggree

[Toxic]

Some backup for what I'm talking about, for those who don't hang in Skaterville and thus miss out on my Jack!spams: Seeds of Jate (http://lost-forum.com/showpost.php?p=1055173&postcount=1389) :shifty:

(-Stops hogging the thread now.-)

[chel_bel89]

Seed of Jate! omg that is hilarious! :crackup: Tox, you own my laughter. ;)

[Leah Kate]

Sawyer? Sawyer got off his lazy ass and followed me into the jungle? Hey, Sawyer likes me. Saw-yer likes me, Saw-yer likes me...and I find it oddly exciting. Weird.
Soo adorable. :D

Hey! Just because you're so incredibly cute that I could eat you alive--starting with your adorable nose--that doesn't mean I would actually stalk you and eat you.
You KNOW Sawyer's noticed her nose. He's a connoisseur, after all - he's not just about the more useful "parts." ;)

It wasn't so much stalking as peeping. But what the hell kind of show did you think you were gonna get out here, anyway?
LOL. That reminds me of what my brother said when they re-aired WTCMB. When Kate noticed Sawyer, he said she was probably just pissed because she didn't know whether he'd seen her squat in the bushes or not. :rolleyes:

Is this what girls mean when they say "I love the way he makes me laugh"? I never got that before. I always thought they were just saying that because their boyfriends were ugly.
That earned both an "Awwwww..." and a laugh. :D And I'd like to quote EVERY SINGLE other line, but everyone already beat me to it! These are so astoundingly entertaining. Can't wait for parts 2 and 3 of the waterfall scene!

Oh, and I agree - A Jate scene from you would be so much fun. I hope you plan to keep us entertained over the summer with these. ;)

[Arachne]

YAY!! Wonderful. There's no way that I could decide which part was best. I loved it all. :crackup:

[lara666]

Why is this great thread abandoned? :poke:

[villana81]

i agree! somebody!!!

[taterbot]

THE WATERFALL SCENE, PART II: Now in Glorious UnspokenVision!

[They come upon prettiest waterfall ever.]
[Sawyer hustles down to the water's edge and pulls his shirt off.]

"What are you doin'?"

KateUnspoken: Do you ever find an excuse to keep your shirt on?

"I need to soak my sore knee. Come on, Freckles. After all we been through on this damn island, don't we deserve something good? What? You gonna say no? You some sort of navel-gazin', no-fun, mopey type?"

KateUnspoken: [sighs] You had me at rippling shoulder muscles.

[Kate strips.]
[Sawyer growls.]

"Ahhh. Well."

SawyerUnspoken: It's about damn time I got your pants off.

[He wades in.]
[She follows.]

"Chilly! Come on girl!"

SawyerUnspoken: I can see your nipples. I win.

KateUnspoken: In your dreams, cowboy.

[They frolic.]

"Nice, huh? Come on, let's go on the rocks."

[They climb, and dive.]
[He grabs her for a good tickle.]

KateUnspoken: Knock it off, Sawyer. I'm having too much fun already. Any more of that, and you're gonna be stuck with me.

[She spots the bodies.]

KateUnspoken: Son of a bitch!

[Sawyer notices them too.]

SawyerUnspoken: Rotting corpses. From the plane. Of course. You know, for supposedly being deserted, there's not a whole hell of a lot of privacy on this damn island. Hell, if you people wanted a watery grave, I could recommend several nice spots in the gigantic ocean-size ocean immediately to the left of us. But, nooo, ya'll had to set up camp in the one part of the Island that finally persuades the femme fatale here to chill the hell out. Of course. As of right now, I'm officially sure this place is cursed. God. Damn.

[~LOST~]

[taterbot]

THE WATERFALL SCENE, PART III: Now in Glorious UnspokenVision!

[Our heroes emerge from the water.]

"Hey, you okay?"

SawyerUnspoken: Poor thing's probably never seen a decomposing body before.

"Yeah, you?

KateUnspoken: Poor thing's probably never seen a decomposing body before.

"Yeah. I'm gonna go check 'em out."
"Check 'em out for what?"
"See what they've got on 'em."
"Sawyer!"

KateUnspoken: Hey, wait for me! I'm coming with you!

[Sawyer gets his pickpocket on.]
[Kate spots the case.]

[They both emerge from under the water.]

"Hey, got myself a wallet."

KateUnspoken: Well, aren't we the Artful Dodger? You're a little bit fascinating, you know that?

"You're disgusting."

"He ain't gonna miss it."

KateUnspoken: That's my Sawyer. Pragmatic to a fault. Okay, time to put those rippling shoulder muscles to good use. If you didn't want to share, you shouldn't a been showin' off.

"Help me with that case."

"Oh, I'm disgusting, but you're not."

SawyerUnspoken: You're a hypocrite, Freckles. But I have to say, I admire the intensity of your hypocrisy.

KateUnspoken: And you're a grave robber, you sick freak. I like that about you. You know how they say "Friends help you move; real friends help you move bodies"? We can just tweak it a little. Move bodies, remove personal property from dead bodies--same difference.

"It's mine."

[She dives.]
[He follows.]

SawyerUnspoken: Wait, seriously? That case is part of your baggage?

KateUnspoken: Sweetie, you have no idea.

[She tries to wrestle the case out from under the seats. Sawyer cuts in to help, and finally unjams it.]

"You wouldn't happen to have your key on you, wouldja?"

[They sit. Sawyer inspects her, running his standard psychological diagnostic.]

"That case ain't yours, is it?"

KateUnspoken: How busted am I, exactly?

SawyerUnspoken: So busted.

KateUnspoken: Dammit.

"No."

"Well, you wouldn't mind if I just…take it?"

"I don't care."

SawyerUnspoken: It's a good thing you're all wet, Freckles, because your pants just caught on fire.

"Not what it looks like."

KateUnspoken: Dammit, I used to be better at this. Sawyer, is there any chance I could get you to focus on my nipples instead of on lying lips?

SawyerUnspoken: Hey, I can take it all in. A man shouldn't have to choose!

[He chuckles.]

"Something you wanna tell me about this little suitcase, Freckles?"

KateUnspoken: Go to hell.

SawyerUnspoken: Aw, and the waterbaby closes up shop. Come back here, and we'll forget this ever happened. I don't want your stupid case anyway.

"Take it."

KateUnspoken: See if I care. Adios, amigo.

SawyerUnspoken: Damn. Goddamn. You know, I used to be better at this. Alright, your worship, fine. I'll take it, but only because I know you'll be back for it. And when that moment comes, don't think I won't be lying in wait. Said the spider to the fly…

KateUnspoken: Bitch.

[Kath]

"Hey, you okay?"

SawyerUnspoken: Poor thing's probably never seen a decomposing body before.

"Yeah, you?

KateUnspoken: Poor thing's probably never seen a decomposing body before.


omfg!!!! that was :thud: Ohhh but you know what taterbot? I think you could make one hell of a story from the last episode, about Jack&Kate in the net. Think about the possibilities :D:D:D


Anyway, taterbot :bowdown: :bowdown: :bowdown: :bowdown: :bowdown: :bowdown: :bowdown: :bowdown: :bowdown: :bowdown: :bowdown: :bowdown:

[wingpack10]

[
KateUnspoken: Dammit, I used to be better at this. Sawyer, is there any chance I could get you to focus on my nipples instead of on lying lips?

SawyerUnspoken: Damn. Goddamn. You know, I used to be better at this. Alright, your worship, fine. I'll take it, but only because I know you'll be back for it. And when that moment comes, don't think I won't be lying in wait. Said the spider to the fly…

KateUnspoken: Bitch.

:crackup: :crackup: Hilarious!
I love the part about the decomposing bodies as well, brilliant.
You rock taterbot! :bowdown: :bowdown: :bowdown:

[oona]

"Well, you wouldn't mind if I just…take it?"

"I don't care."

SawyerUnspoken: It's a good thing you're all wet, Freckles, because your pants just caught on fire.

"Not what it looks like."

BWAHAHA oh good lord. :crackup: :rotflol:

taterbot you rule! please, more! :D

[villana81]

LOL :rotflol: I love it!!! lol

Love how they thought the same thing when they saw the bodies :D and how they can see through each other lol

[Darbi]

"That case ain't yours, is it?"

KateUnspoken: How busted am I, exactly?

SawyerUnspoken: So busted.

KateUnspoken: Dammit.

"No."

"Well, you wouldn't mind if I just…take it?"

"I don't care."

SawyerUnspoken: It's a good thing you're all wet, Freckles, because your pants just caught on fire.

"Not what it looks like."

KateUnspoken: Dammit, I used to be better at this. Sawyer, is there any chance I could get you to focus on my nipples instead of on lying lips?


:crackup: Genius.

[PsychodelicS]

Wooh =O
moooore =D

[Athalia]

SawyerUnspoken: Wait, seriously? That case is part of your baggage?

KateUnspoken: Sweetie, you have no idea.

LOL. I love these, keep 'em coming.

[Fugitive]

"Hey, got myself a wallet."

KateUnspoken: Well, aren't we the Artful Dodger? You're a little bit fascinating, you know that?

A lot of the good stuff has already been quoted, so I quoted this. Cuz I LOVE the Artful Dodger so much. And Sawyer as Dodger is a sexy thought! :D

[chel_bel89]

taterbot! i envy you! that was hilarious. :crackup:

[waitsleeplessly]

KateUnspoken: How busted am I, exactly?

SawyerUnspoken: So busted.

KateUnspoken: Dammit.

:rotflol:
The whole scene is hilarious!

[Leah Kate]

SawyerUnspoken: I can see your nipples. I win.
That's EXACTLY what he would be thinking. :rotflol:

KateUnspoken: Knock it off, Sawyer. I'm having too much fun already. Any more of that, and you're gonna be stuck with me.
Awww... I love the fact that even though this is mostly meant to be humorous, you still manage to get some little "aww" shippery moments in there. ;)

SawyerUnspoken: It's a good thing you're all wet, Freckles, because your pants just caught on fire.
Simple childhood rhyme reference, dirty implications. I love it. :D

These are SOOO much fun. I wish we had one every day. And I have to agree with the Jate idea - I'd love to see what you'd do with a Jack/Kate scene. Of course it would have to be more brutal and less cute, but that could still be entertaining, right?

[KeNe]

KateUnspoken: Seriously, what are you talking about? And where did you learn how to do that, anyway? And who else have you done it with? Because I want them all dead. I know that's petty, but I just discovered I don't like to share.

"The medicine. I don't have it. Never did."

KateUnspoken: Ooooh! The girl who was suffocating. Right. Asthma medication. Right...HEY!

"The book. They said you found it in their luggage."

KateUnspoken: I can't believe I fell for the old suffocating girl line. God! I'm so stupid!

That was so funny I pissed my pants and I'm so embarrased, that I told that

[taterbot]

Of course it would have to be more brutal and less cute, but that could still be entertaining, right?

See, I'm very tempted by Jate scenes, but I'm a little hesitant because of the brutality. I'm afraid I wouldn't be very even-handed with poor Jack. Kickin' a man when he's down ain't right, but gosh in the spirit of Sawyer: Being evil's a little fun, you know?

We'll see...

:shifty:

[*Roxy*]

Brilliant taterbot! I love your perception and humor of the two of them, it's incredible. And I would love a Jack/Kate one. It would be fascinating I have to say. ;)

[LadyIrina]

Where Roxy goes, her stalker follows! :D

Ahem, to stay on topic, this was nothing less than genius!
And we simply GOTTA have a Kack one!!
:w00t:

[melil14]

This is sooo good. It has to be one of the best fics I've read in a while. It made me laugh everytime I thought about it today:D :) I read part of this over on fanfiction.net and I was so excited when I saw more of it posted here!
Keep it up!!!!:) :)

[Arachne]

Love it! These just keep getting better. :D

[j3n]

hahaha thats just brilliant! waiting for more :w00t:

[lara666]

Sorry, I'm a little late with replying. :o


[Our heroes emerge from the water.]

"Hey, you okay?"

SawyerUnspoken: Poor thing's probably never seen a decomposing body before.

"Yeah, you?

KateUnspoken: Poor thing's probably never seen a decomposing body before.

How cute is that? :p



SawyerUnspoken: It's a good thing you're all wet, Freckles, because your pants just caught on fire.
That's such a Sawyer thing to say...I mean think. :shifty:

EDIT: I'm in favour of a Jate unspoken one. :D

[taterbot]

By popular demand...(And if it takes the edge off the impending Incident, more the better!)

The Jate Kiss: Now in Glorious UnspokenVision

"Kate, what the hell are you doing out here? What happened in the hatch, Kate? Why'd you leave? I come back, I find Sawyer just lying on the ground. You just took off."

KateUnspoken: HEY! He's my long-lost boyfriend, not yours, and I'll leave him lying on the ground if I damn well please! Back off, doc! Also, dammit, Sawyer! I'm not sure how, but I bet there's a way that this is your fault. Poor suffering bastard.

"Is he okay?"

KateUnspoken: He survived Ana-Lucia, I'm sure he can survive a short nap on a cold concrete floor. Right?

"Yes, Kate, he's fine."

JackUnspoken: You know, if I get any huffier, I'm going to inhale the entire island. Save me from myself, Kate.

"I'm sorry."

KateUnspoken: Specifically, I'm sorry I didn't start running the minute I heard you clomping through the jungle with your big patronizing feet. Gives me the willies just being near you, which is saying something considering your competition in heebie-jeebie-dom is the pervy stepfather currently stalking me from the great beyond.

"Are you?"

KateUnspoken: Oh yes, I'm very sorry indeed that I didn't let Sawyer strangle me to death. Because then I would be peacefully dead and not having this conversation with you. Man, I thought Sawyer was in pain.

"Yeah, I'm sorry. I'm sorry that I am not as perfect as you. I'm sorry that I'm not as good."

JackUnspoken: That's a common problem, Kate, but everyone who meets me experiences shame and self-recrimination. By the way, could I interest you in a What Would Jack Do? bracelet? A lot of people find them a source of strength.Or maybe a WWJD T-shirt? I could autograph it if you want.

"Okay, what's going on with you?"

KateUnspoken: I. MISS. SAWYER. Also, I'm insanely jealous of all the hot reunion sex Sun is having at this very moment with Jin. Sawyer and me would totally give them a run for their hot reunion sex money--if we had the chance. Sawyer, you're so in trouble when you wake up! Furthermore, meanwhile, thirdly and most of all, I miss Sawyer! A lot. ...Oh, and there's this whole haunted by the ghosts of my past thing, but I don't want to talk about it.

"Just forget it."

KateUnspoken: I'm gonna go see if there's any Tori Amos or Billie Holiday in the hatch. Patsy Cline isn't making me sad enough.

"No, don't walk away from me."

KateUnspoken: Dude, where Tori Amos goes, depressed chicks must follow. It's the law.

[Jack grabs her.]

KateUnspoken: We'll have to see how things go, but I think this just officially turned into the worst day of my life. Wayne's skulking around, Sawyer's dying of sepsis, and now I have Jack cooties. Remind me to kill myself later.

"Let go of me. Just..."

JackUnspoken: I'm all about the healing power of love, Kate. That's what Jack would do, you know. Love and be loved in return.
KateUnspoken: Yeah, um, I'd like to buy a one-way ticket to Bear Village please, preferably on a train that arrives immediately before dinnertime--when the ravening polar bears are extra-hungry.

"No. Kate. [Jack grabs her.] Kate, Kate, Kate."

JackUnspoken: Kiss me, Kate.
KateUnspoken: Oh no you din'in.

"Don't! I've got..." [Kate starts to cry. Jack pulls her towards him and hugs her.]

KateUnspoken: I've got Jack cooties on me now. I'd take a bath in bleach except I think that might drive away the polar bears. Hmmm, I wonder if jungle monsters like the smell of bleach...

"It's okay. It's okay."

JackUnspoken: You can call me Wonderwall--because after all, I'm gonna be the one that saves you.

"Please, this place is crazy. It's just...I can't...it's driving me nuts."

KateUnspoken: Did you know I was on the cross-country team in high school? I was, you know. I really like to run. It's kind of my thing. And there's nowhere to run on this damn island. I can't escape anything around here, up to and including high-strung, emotionally retarded doctors. I miss planet Earth--back on Earth you could really stretch your legs.

JackUnspoken: I'm sorry. Did you say something Kate? I couldn't hear anything over the sound of my gigantic pulsing ego. When it gets all pumped up--as it tends to do in the presence of needy women--it sort of sounds like the Space Shuttle taking off, and you can't hear a darn thing for miles around. Anyway, what was that? Something about a leg cramp? Probably the result of a potassium deficiency. Let me get you a banana.

KateUnspoken: You are 15 kinds of skeevy, you know that?

"I know. It's okay. It's alright. It's alright."

KateUnspoken: Okay, can't run. Can't hide. Locke burned Charlie's drugs. Other options for escapism? Erotic oblivion? Maybe that's not just a Sawyer thing. Maybe...

[Kate reaches up and give him a passionate kiss.]

KateUnspoken: Here goes nothing...wait, that's just an expression. Give me something. Anything? I'm easy...really. Okay, ew. This is gross. Dammit Sawyer, I'm not sure how, but I'm pretty sure this is your fault too. I wonder if Dharma makes extra-strength bleach. Oh! And I know they make ammonia, I saw some in the hatch. I can mix the two and die from the fumes. Whee! I'm off to play with chemicals! Bye Jack!

"Kate!"

JackUnspoken: You forgot your autographed T-shirt!

[Kath]

KateUnspoken: HEY! He's my long-lost boyfriend, not yours, and I'll leave him lying on the ground if I damn well please! Back off, doc! Also, dammit, Sawyer! I'm not sure how, but I bet there's a way that this is your fault. Poor suffering bastard.

:thud:


JackUnspoken: That's a common problem, Kate, but everyone who meets me experiences shame and self-recrimination. By the way, could I interest you in a What Would Jack Do? bracelet? A lot of people find them a source of strength.Or maybe a WWJD T-shirt? I could autograph it if you want.
:crackup: :crackup: :crackup: :crackup:


Probably the result of a potassium deficiency. Let me get you a banana.

God, I think I would have to quote the whole story... you are amazing taterbot...

[x___ShimmyShimmy]

JackUnspoken: You know, if I get any huffier, I'm going to inhale the entire island. Save me from myself, Kate.

:blank: haha



By the way, could I interest you in a What Would Jack Do? bracelet? A lot of people find them a source of strength.Or maybe a WWJD T-shirt? I could autograph it if you want.


haha, he prolly does have a load of them stashed away somewhere :shifty:



Oh! And I know they make ammonia, I saw some in the hatch. I can mix the two and die from the fumes. Whee! I'm off to play with chemicals! Bye Jack!

"Kate!"

JackUnspoken: You forgot your autographed T-shirt!

lmao.
amazing:D

[villana81]

Hilarious :crackup:

[waitsleeplessly]

Love these parts:

KateUnspoken: Specifically, I'm sorry I didn't start running the minute I heard you clomping through the jungle with your big patronizing feet. Gives me the willies just being near you, which is saying something considering your competition in heebie-jeebie-dom is the pervy stepfather currently stalking me from the great beyond.
:rotflol:

JackUnspoken: That's a common problem, Kate, but everyone who meets me experiences shame and self-recrimination. By the way, could I interest you in a What Would Jack Do? bracelet? A lot of people find them a source of strength.Or maybe a WWJD T-shirt? I could autograph it if you want.
:crackup:

[Miss26thofmay]

With all the squeeeing over the cover I didn't catch the update til now. :crackup: :crackup: :crackup: I love it, so funny!

I could quote the whole thing, it is perfect!!!

Will reread it right now.

[Arachne]

:crackup: Oh, so wicked! :D

[Leah Kate]

HOW was this up for almost 24 hours without me even noticing it? I've got to stop focusing so much on the spoiler section... I forget we have other threads. Lol.

Gives me the willies just being near you, which is saying something considering your competition in heebie-jeebie-dom is the pervy stepfather currently stalking me from the great beyond.
LMAO. You know, if I had to choose between Wayne and Jack, so help me God, I just might choose Wayne.

That's a common problem, Kate, but everyone who meets me experiences shame and self-recrimination. By the way, could I interest you in a What Would Jack Do? bracelet? A lot of people find them a source of strength.Or maybe a WWJD T-shirt? I could autograph it if you want.
"What Would Jack Do?" :rotflol: I'm gonna have to make me one of those...

Dude, where Tori Amos goes, depressed chicks must follow. It's the law.
One of those unwritten rules of the universe. :D

You can call me Wonderwall--because after all, I'm gonna be the one that saves you.
And thank you very much for getting THAT song stuck in my head for the first time since 9th grade. ;)

I'm sorry. Did you say something Kate? I couldn't hear anything over the sound of my gigantic pulsing ego.
Too bad that's probably the only thing on Jack that ever "pulses."

Give me something. Anything? I'm easy...really.
I see Kater's notion of Kate as the island whore is catching on. :giggle:

Can the t-shirt also say "I kissed Jack Shepard and all I got was this lousy t-shirt. And a lifetime of recurring nightmares." Aww, poor Jack. We're all terrible. But do I care? No I do not.

Absolutely pants-wetting hilarious, as always. SO GLAD you decided to do a Jate one, and that it was still all Skatey, with Kate thinking about Sawyer all the time. Can't wait to see which scene you choose next!

[Darbi]

I haven't even finished reading the continuing, unspoken story yet, but this part brought tears to my eyes.


JackUnspoken: Kiss me, Kate.
KateUnspoken: Oh no you din'in.


:crackup: :rotflol:

Bot, you are FOOL!!!!!

[Arachne]

"What Would Jack Do?" :rotflol: I'm gonna have to make me one of those...



But the answer would always be the same: cry. :p

[so original]

Also, dammit, Sawyer! I'm not sure how, but I bet there's a way that this is your fault.
Hee, I can totally see her thinking that!!! Hee! I love these scenes. Keep 'em coming.

[PsychodelicS]

:bowdown: I love my fellow skaters :w00t:

[mrs ford]

Bump because I love this thread and :love: was wondering if we could see the hug in UnspokenVision :lotsalove

[Ema]

They both have criminal pasts and there is no way they can go back to normal society as if nothing ever happened, as they have both murdered others. Kate, like her mother is attracted to dangerous men, and Sawyer fits the bill. Kate could NEVER have a future with righteous Jack. I would like to see Sawyer and Kate become a couple before long, and wait for the sparks! If the writers miss this one they should start writing Sunday sermons.

[LadyIrina]

KateUnspoken: Dude, where Tori Amos goes, depressed chicks must follow. It's the law.

:crackup: :crackup: :crackup:
So true!
We cannot ignore that universal rule! Must follow...
:D

We need more of this! More, I say! Moooore!
:bowdown:

[so original]

ooh yeah we need an unspoken of the hug! and can i also request unspokens for the hunting party? if they've already been done, feel free to call me an idiot for missing them.

[deelee]

LMAO! That rocks taterbot!

[taterbot]

I'll see what I can cook up for you guys. At the moment, I actually have to cook (dinner), but I'll turn my brain on and see if anything pops out. :)

P.S. so original, I haven't done THP at all yet, but it's screaming to be done, isn't it? The hostage situation probably can't be funnied up too much, seeing as how it's a hostage situation, but maybe I'll do it anyway, just to stretch my muscles and see if I can do it without being relentlessly sentimental.

[Castaway86]

I'm sooo late, but these are friggin hilarious. You're a clown. :giggle:

[so original]

I haven't done THP at all yet, but it's screaming to be done, isn't it?
It most certainly is. There's the funny bit at the start with the banana, then the bit where jack won't let kate go with them, then the bit where jack tells sawyer that sawyer told jack that he loves kate, and the hostage bit. that doesn't have to be funny, but there's so much that sawyer says with his body language.

I don't want to sound pushy here. I'm not demanding you do these!

[Kimmerz]

hey what happened to this?

[taterbot]

[was just coming here to post!]

Waking a Man Up: Now in Glorious UnspokenVision!

[Sawyer is asleep. Kate strolls up and throws a banana at him.]

"Morning."

UnspokenSawyer: On the other side of the Island, jail pits, blood infections and jungle terrorists. This side, beautiful girls try to feed you. Totally never leaving home again.

"Did you just throw a banana at me?"

UnspokenKate: I know, I know, total shout-out to that time you flashed me.

UnspokenSawyer: I do believe this banana is a shout-out to my dick. Nice.

"Couldn't find any rocks."

UnspokenKate: I know, I know, total shout-out to that time you had to soak your sore knee, and we almost got together in the lagoon.

UnspokenSawyer: Hey, if me being broke all to pieces brings us together, next week I'll drop an anvil on my foot.

"There are nicer ways to wake a man up, Freckles."

UnspokenSawyer: Do you want me to get graphic? Would you be interested in some visuals? Because I can--

UnspokenKate: No sales resistance...must escape...

"Come on, it's time to go get your bandages changed."

UnspokenKate: Think your truth, Kate. Come on: Business before pleasure! Virtue. Manners. Good behavior! There we go. Better. Oh, uh, Jiminy, quick question: Would a teeny, tiny amount of necking be so very wrong?

"Why can't you do it for me?"

UnspokenSawyer: And can you do it all slow and sweet and lingering like last time?

UnspokenKate: Why can't I do it for you? Are you kidding? After what happened last time? No way!

"Because I'm not your nurse, and Jack's got the bandages."

UnspokenKate: Okay, actually, I'm totally your nurse, I'm awesome at it, and you're only well because I adore you and couldn't live without you and I did anything and everything to make you better. But let's not make a fuss. Besides, in exchange for him never, ever consoling me again, I'm generously letting Jack think he's in charge of your medical treatment. It's a whole ruse I'm working on. You in?

UnspokenSawyer: Conspire against Jack? Of course I'm in! See, further proof that there is such a thing as a stupid question.

"Of course he does. You wanna give me a hand?"

UnspokenSawyer: For the record, if you wanted to try this trick on me sometime, you have a permanent invitation into my personal space.

UnspokenKate: Sawyer's lips. Kissing! "I never said goodbye" makeup sex!

UnspokenSawyer: You could kiss me, you know--I wouldn't stop ya.

"Thanks."

UnspokenKate: Think your truth, woman! Visualize good behavior. Visualize! Antibiotics! Checkups! Whee, being good is fun! Bad girls get sent to Pleasure Island! Okay, that's not helping.

"Come on."

UnspokenKate: Note to self: At first opportunity, seriously consider exchanging entire current moral value system for makeup sex with Sawyer. Could be a good deal! And hey, whaddya know...that puts business before pleasure. Outsmarted you again, Cricket! Sucker!

[Kimmerz]

UnspokenKate: Note to self: At first opportunity, seriously consider exchanging entire current moral value system for makeup sex with Sawyer. Could be a good deal! And hey, whaddya know, that puts business before pleasure. Outsmarted you again, conscience boy!

that was totally worth the wait.

i loved that entire scene. YAY YAY! :w00t: :w00t: :w00t:

[mrs ford]

"Did you just throw a banana at me?"

UnspokenKate: I know, I know, total shout-out to that time you flashed me.

UnspokenSawyer: I do believe this banana is a shout-out to my dick. Nice.



:crackup: Awesome, as always

[jnyuj]

That was awesome. Totally worth the wait. Can't wait to see what's next in line. You are so good at these!

[j3n]

taterbot, you just made my morning! :w00t:
That was really really funny :nod: :crackup:

:hug2:

[ale_corason]

UnspokenSawyer: On the other side of the Island, jail pits, blood infections and jungle terrorists. This side, beautiful girls try to feed you. Totally never leaving home again.
...
UnspokenSawyer: Hey, if me being broke all to pieces brings us together, next week I'll drop an anvil on my foot.
...
UnspokenSawyer: Do you want me to get graphic? Would you be interested in some visuals? Because I can--
:w00t: :crackup:
Oh, Holy God!! That's what HE probably thought!!
Thank you so much taterbot...:glomp:

[Chantal]

:crackup: Love this topicccccccc :D Great job!!! :D

[Athalia]

"Did you just throw a banana at me?"

UnspokenKate: I know, I know, total shout-out to that time you flashed me.

UnspokenSawyer: I do believe this banana is a shout-out to my dick. Nice.

"Couldn't find any rocks."

UnspokenKate: I know, I know, total shout-out to that time you had to soak your sore knee, and we almost got together in the lagoon.

LMAO. Awesome!

[Kath]

Awesome... :crackup: :crackup: :crackup:

[Lua]

I can't believe I missed this thread! Freaking hilarious! :crackup: Taterbot, you rule!

[Arachne]

:crackup: Love it, love it, love it! :D :crackup:

[so original]

awesome! I wish I still had that episode on tape so I could watch it again now...

[Leah Kate]

Was this posted after I logged off yesterday... or did I just miss it somehow? Because I hate being late to the party!

I do believe this banana is a shout-out to my dick. Nice.
Love how Kate phrases it even in her mind so ladylike as "flashing", but Sawyer just comes right and thinks "dick." :rotflol:

Business before pleasure! Virtue. Manners. Good behavior!
Jack! (You know Kate thinks of Jack when she's trying to "cool down" from Sawyer. It's like a nice, sobering, cold shower. Like thinking of your grandma when you're about to have sex. ;) )

And can you do it all slow and sweet and lingering like last time?
Awww... Why couldn't she have done it for him???

Besides, in exchange for him never, ever consoling me again, I'm generously letting Jack think he's in charge of your medical treatment.
HA! I can actually picture them working out that arrangement, and Jack being so confused about why she wouldn't want his "comforting arms" again. Just like a Children of the Hatch scene. :giggle:

Whee, being good is fun! Bad girls get sent to Pleasure Island! Okay, that's not helping.
Poor girl. And I love how even in these tiny little humorous sketches, you still manage to capture Kate's psychological dilemmas and her conflict about being "good" or "bad." That's true talent!

Can't wait for the next installment! Is there more from THP?

[Freckels1]

Fantabulos. That really made me laugh:w00t:

[Darbi]

UnspokenSawyer: Do you want me to get graphic? Would you be interested in some visuals? Because I can--

UnspokenKate: No sales resistance...must escape...

"Come on, it's time to go get your bandages changed."

:crackup: Water totally shot out of my nose behind this. Charming, I know.

Only these two could make a sales pitch sound sexy. You know it had to be the crack of dawn...sales pitches are never sexy, especially at the crack of dawn. :giggle: Love how Kate quickly, like lightening flash quick changes the subject. (thumbs up) Genius.

[MissJones]

:rotflol: Sweet and funny at the same time :cloud9:

[Kater]

Specifically, I'm sorry I didn't start running the minute I heard you clomping through the jungle with your big patronizing feet.

KateUnspoken: We'll have to see how things go, but I think this just officially turned into the worst day of my life.

KateUnspoken: Did you know I was on the cross-country team in high school? I was, you know.

Locke burned Charlie's drugs.

Heeheee. I like your lines. I really do. It's the inbetween ones, cushioning the jokes that really do it for me ;)

JackUnspoken: I'm sorry. Did you say something Kate? I couldn't hear anything over the sound of my gigantic pulsing ego. When it gets all pumped up--as it tends to do in the presence of needy women--it sort of sounds like the Space Shuttle taking off, and you can't hear a darn thing for miles around. Anyway, what was that? Something about a leg cramp? Probably the result of a potassium deficiency. Let me get you a banana.

lmao. So classic.

[taterbot]

{{HUGSEVERYBODY}}

Kater, my Jack is really just your Jose in different pants. And your banner is killing me.

:)

[Kater]

{{HUGSEVERYBODY}}

Kater, my Jack is really just your Jose in different pants. And your banner is killing me.

:)

lol. Don't you just love this upsurge of Jack mockery we got going on here? It's so fun!

[villana81]

Taterbot that was amazing!! I know they had those thoughts , it was so obvious the way they were looking at each other.

[Kaye]

This stuff is too cool for page three! Any ideas?:D

[taterbot]

Aw, you guys are sweet. Is there a consensus about what other scenes people want to see? Because I could just contemplate that forever and get stuck in decision mode. I'll write whatever you guys want.

[Darbi]

Have you done the fireside chat in Tabula Rasa?

[Ravenheart]

How about any scene from the Long Con?

[so original]

I really want the Others confrontation in the Hunting Party. I know it's not as humorous as the other scenes you've done, but I really think it needs doing. Pretty please?

[taterbot]

so original, your wish is my command. This is totally goofy, but I'm high as a kite on allergy meds, so you guys are gonna have to take what you can get.

Sawyer Stepped Forward, Jack Stepped Back: Now in Glorious UnspokenVision!

[Locke, Jack and Sawyer stand within a circle of torches, facing down Zeke, who is one of those bad guys who love to make flowery scary speeches.]

"We've got a misunderstanding, Jack--your people, my people. So listen carefully. Right here there's a line. You cross that line, we go from misunderstanding to something else. Now give me your weapons, turn around, go home."

SawyerUnspoken: Oooh! Something else! I pick something else! It's about time we actually had a rumble in the jungle!

"No."

"Jack, maybe--"

"No!"

JackUnspoken: No means no, Locke. Stop trying to date rape me.

"I hoped it wouldn't come to this. Bring her out, Alex!"

SawyerUnspoken: Aw, Freckles. Please don't let this be you.

[Kate, bound and gagged, is thrown into Zeke's clutches.]

"She was following you. Like I said--curiosity."

JackUnspoken: KAAAATE! Oooh! Woman, when we get home, you've got some 'splainin' to do!

[Jack looks pissed. Sawyer steps toward Kate. Zeke pulls a gun and points it at Kate's throat.]

KateUnspoken: Hey! Personal bubble, bucko!

SawyerUnspoken: Sweetie, I'm gonna have to shoot myself, because you're killin' me. Please don't look so scared. Oh, and Jack? You suck.

"Jack, the decision you gotta make right now is this--can you live with the fact that I shot this woman right in front of you when you could have saved her life by giving up and going home? Or are you going to give me your guns, turn around and walk away. It's your call, Jack."

"You touch a hair on her head, I'll--"

SawyerUnspoken: Leave you in anguish. Wallowing in freakish misery forever.

"Shut up! I'm going to count to three. One...two..."

ZekeUnspoken: Two and a half. Two and three quarters. Two and seven eighths. Aw, crap. I'm gonna get Kate juice all over my favorite fake beard. Come on Jack. Two and fifteen sixteenths.

"Stop."

[Jack throws his gun down.]

SawyerUnspoken: Christ on a cracker, Jack! We're not the CIA, man--when they've got a gun to our girl's head, we do negotiate with terrorists. WTF?!!

"Now, them."

KateUnspoken: Can I go home now? Please? I promise not to taunt the flying monkeys on the way. And there will absolutely no mischief with munchkins.

[Locke throws his gun down.]

LockeUnspoken: I'm more of a knife man, anyway. That's how I met and bedded Angelina Jolie, you know--our mutual affection for knives brought us together. Whoo! Cirque du Soliel acrobats used to stop by to take notes. But man, one wrong move and suddenly you're stuck in a wheelchair and Angie's run off to boink her brother. Safety first, kids. Safety first.

"Give me the other one, too."

[Locke surrenders his other gun.]

"Now you."

[Sawyer drops his gun.]

"You and me ain't done, Zeke."

SawyerUnspoken: I have two hobbies, Groucho. Kate is one of them. F*cking you up is now the other. Brace yourself, b*tch.

[Zeke releases Kate into Sawyer's waiting arms. Kate looks to Jack apologetically.]

"Jack, I, uh--"

SawyerUnspoken: Honey, you have a people-pleasing problem. Maybe you should get that checked out. I bet a good ointment would clear that right up.

[Sawyer unties Kate's hands and removes the gag.]

"You alright?"

KateUnspoken: Sawyer, am I alright?

SawyerUnspoken: You're fine now, sweetness.

"Yep."

JackUnspoken: Damn, I've got the song "Detachable Penis" stuck in my head. I wonder why.

KateUnspoken: Sawyer, what you just did? That was amazing. I felt like we really connected. So...do you want to cuddle?

SawyerUnspoken: I'd rather have a cigarette, but...sure. Hey, your hair smells nice! Jojoba, right?

LockeUnspoken: Well, we probably shouldn't let this nice campfire go to waste...anybody want some Smores?

[deelee]

LMAO!!

:crackup: :crackup: :crackup:

You made such a serious scene so damn hilarious!


JackUnspoken: No means no, Locke. Stop trying to date rape me.

LOL!

JackUnspoken: KAAAATE! Oooh! Woman, when we get home, you've got some 'splainin' to do!

...

KateUnspoken: Hey! Personal bubble, bucko!

SawyerUnspoken: Sweetie, I'm gonna have to shoot myself, because you're killin' me. Please don't look so scared. Oh, and Jack? You suck.

LMAO!! I loved, loved, LOVED, Jacks "'splainin'" and Sawyer "You Suck" and Kate's bubble. Awesome.

ZekeUnspoken: Two and a half. Two and three quarters. Two and seven eighths. Aw, crap. I'm gonna get Kate juice all over my favorite fake beard. Come on Jack. Two and fifteen sixteenths.

Hehehe.


SawyerUnspoken: Christ on a cracker, Jack! We're not the CIA, man--when they've got a gun to our girl's head, we do negotiate with terrorists. WTF?!!

"Now, them."

KateUnspoken: Can I go home now? Please? I promise not to taunt the flying monkeys on the way. And there will absolutely no mischief with munchkins.

[Locke throws his gun down.]

LockeUnspoken: I'm more of a knife man, anyway. That's how I met and bedded Angelina Jolie, you know--our mutual affection for knives brought us together. Whoo! Cirque du Soliel acrobats used to stop by to take notes. But man, one wrong move and suddenly you're stuck in a wheelchair and Angie's run off to boink her brother. Safety first, kids. Safety first.

Brillant, just... brilliant!


JackUnspoken: Damn, I've got the song "Detachable Penis" stuck in my head. I wonder why.

KateUnspoken: Sawyer, what you just did? That was amazing. I felt like we really connected. So...do you want to cuddle?

SawyerUnspoken: I'd rather have a cigarette, but...sure. Hey, your hair smells nice! Jojoba, right?

LockeUnspoken: Well, we probably shouldn't let this nice campfire go to waste...anybody want some Smores?

This was just so awesome! *bakes you a cake*

[Kaye]

YEAH, all of the above!

Wouw, you're QUICK! You posted...I was still thinking about what scene to choose, oh so many beautiful, tearful, KODAK moments, so difficult to pick one...l'embaras de choix, like Sawyer'd say (with all the reading, he's become quite the nerdy one, hasn't he hehehe). Anyway, in the meanwhile you've already posted...It's brilliant, and the Jolie sibling ouverture comes at the perfect moment, in sync with Evie's ramblings. Hello, Angie and thank you, thank you Bot!

[LadyIrina]

*is dead from laughing herself from death*
You should get paid for this!
The truth between the lines! The unspoken truth!
I always see the scenes in a brand new way after reading the Unspoken!
:D

[Kath]

Awwww.... it was great... Protective Sawyer... :thud:

[honeypoppy0212]

That was beautiful!! :D Jack and the "Detachable Penis" song! :crackup:

[taterbot]

Thanks kids. The multiperson scenes end actually being a lot lighter unspoken-wise than a good eye-sex-based Skate scene, because there's less left, uh, unspoken and it could easily get unreadable, but Zeke is comedy gold. :)

[badmamajama]

joining the chorus....possibly my favorite so far! Well, except for the waterfall scene...and the jate kiss. Tough call!

[waitsleeplessly]

Loved this one!

My favorite lines:

JackUnspoken: KAAAATE! Oooh! Woman, when we get home, you've got some 'splainin' to do!



KateUnspoken: Hey! Personal bubble, bucko!

ZekeUnspoken: Two and a half. Two and three quarters. Two and seven eighths. Aw, crap. I'm gonna get Kate juice all over my favorite fake beard. Come on Jack. Two and fifteen sixteenths.

:rotflol:

[Leah Kate]

Well, I see everything's been quoted by now - I should have gotten closer to the front of the line! *pouts* ;)

But it was just as perfectly hilarious as always. If this is what you can do on allergy meds, you should get a permanent prescription! I swear, between this and Kater's fics, I don't even have to watch sitcoms or movie comedies anymore. Nothing makes me laugh as much as this! It's like therapy.

Not that it's ONLY laughing, of course. This line...
SawyerUnspoken: I have two hobbies, Groucho. Kate is one of them. F*cking you up is now the other. Brace yourself, b*tch.
...is I think your best Unspoken Sawyer line EVER. It's so insanely on the mark, and just encapsulates everything about his character and what he was likely thinking in that moment. And I adore the fact that Kate is one of his "hobbies." :D

Thanks so much for doing these! Did you ever do Sawyer's doctor exam from Season 1? I love it when Jack is added into the mix. But I'm so exhausted I can't remember if you already "Unspokened" that or not.

[Arachne]

ZekeUnspoken: Two and a half. Two and three quarters. Two and seven eighths. Aw, crap. I'm gonna get Kate juice all over my favorite fake beard. Come on Jack. Two and fifteen sixteenths.

:rotflol:



JackUnspoken: Damn, I've got the song "Detachable Penis" stuck in my head. I wonder why.


The WHAT!?? :crackup:

[taterbot]

Hee.

It's a real song (http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Detachable_Penis). They play it incessantly on KROQ here in L.A. :)

[so original]

THANK YOU THANK YOU THANK YOU THANK YOU THANK YOU THANK YOU THANK YOU THANK YOU THANK YOU THANK YOU THANK YOU!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

Awesome work!

I'm high as a kite on allergy meds
I can see that...
LockeUnspoken: I'm more of a knife man, anyway. That's how I met and bedded Angelina Jolie, you know--our mutual affection for knives brought us together. Whoo! Cirque du Soliel acrobats used to stop by to take notes. But man, one wrong move and suddenly you're stuck in a wheelchair and Angie's run off to boink her brother. Safety first, kids. Safety first.
KateUnspoken: Can I go home now? Please? I promise not to taunt the flying monkeys on the way. And there will absolutely no mischief with munchkins.
JackUnspoken: Damn, I've got the song "Detachable Penis" stuck in my head. I wonder why.


Ok, I don't get the reference on this last one, but it's still bloody funny.

"You alright?"

KateUnspoken: Sawyer, am I alright?

SawyerUnspoken: You're fine now, sweetness.

"Yep."


Awwww. *sniff* Again, thank you!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

[Kater]

ZekeUnspoken: Two and a half. Two and three quarters. Two and seven eighths. Aw, crap. I'm gonna get Kate juice all over my favorite fake beard. Come on Jack. Two and fifteen sixteenths.

LOL. I like how he seems kinda sympathetic at first but the we realize, nope, he just likes that beard.

LockeUnspoken: I'm more of a knife man, anyway. That's how I met and bedded Angelina Jolie, you know--our mutual affection for knives brought us together. Whoo! Cirque du Soliel acrobats used to stop by to take notes. But man, one wrong move and suddenly you're stuck in a wheelchair and Angie's run off to boink her brother. Safety first, kids. Safety first.

Lmao. Perfect explanation for the wheelchair hehe.

[Superpally]

"Kate juice." :giggle:

[Kimmerz]

OMFG tate

JackUnspoken: No means no, Locke. Stop trying to date rape me.
ahahahahahahah

JackUnspoken: KAAAATE! Oooh! Woman, when we get home, you've got some 'splainin' to do!
AHAHAHAHAHAHA

Oh, and Jack? You suck.
eheh

"Shut up! I'm going to count to three. One...two..."

ZekeUnspoken: Two and a half. Two and three quarters. Two and seven eighths. Aw, crap. I'm gonna get Kate juice all over my favorite fake beard. Come on Jack. Two and fifteen sixteenths.

"Stop."

no sh*t!!! jack took his dear sweet time saying stop. i was about to cry.

SawyerUnspoken: Christ on a cracker, Jack! We're not the CIA, man--when they've got a gun to our girl's head, we do negotiate with terrorists. WTF?!!

least someone's got a brain here.

LockeUnspoken: I'm more of a knife man, anyway. That's how I met and bedded Angelina Jolie, you know--our mutual affection for knives brought us together. Whoo! Cirque du Soliel acrobats used to stop by to take notes. But man, one wrong move and suddenly you're stuck in a wheelchair and Angie's run off to boink her brother. Safety first, kids. Safety first.

wtf locke??!?!?!?! man he's crazy.

SawyerUnspoken: I have two hobbies, Groucho. Kate is one of them. F*cking you up is now the other. Brace yourself, b*tch.

ahahahahah! hell yeah!!

KateUnspoken: Sawyer, am I alright?

SawyerUnspoken: You're fine now, sweetness.

awwwwwwww


tater.........you freakin rock.

[Shattered]

I absolutley adore your unspoken-ness. Bloody fantastic. So funny, I just read them all.

Please, more, now. (And, wow, I sound like Sawyer).

For the next updates, can I request:
-I Never
-The tackle in Sawyer's tent that was, supposedly, over the case
-the "Weak in the loins" conversation from the Moth (is that their first flirtation? I do believe it is)
-various scenes from "Outlaws," they are all gold mines for unspoken vision
-when Kate's cutting Sawyer's hair
-the poker scene from "Lockdown"
- the Sana sex scene (please, please, please- then maybe I could watch it without wanting to be sick)

And, if you feel like serious/angsty stuff:
-the "Tiger don't change his stripes" conversation at the end of TLC.

[Cloe]

I absolutley adore your unspoken-ness. Bloody fantastic. So funny, I just read them all.

Please, more, now. (And, wow, I sound like Sawyer).

For the next updates, can I request:
-I Never
-The tackle in Sawyer's tent that was, supposedly, over the case
-the "Weak in the loins" conversation from the Moth (is that their first flirtation? I do believe it is)
-various scenes from "Outlaws," they are all gold mines for unspoken vision
-when Kate's cutting Sawyer's hair
-the poker scene from "Lockdown"
- the Sana sex scene (please, please, please- then maybe I could watch it without wanting to be sick)

And, if you feel like serious/angsty stuff:
-the "Tiger don't change his stripes" conversation at the end of TLC.


These are all fantastic ideas! I would prefer the haircut scene (i love to watch Kate's hands on his face...yummy.And he was so cute there!! I wish i could hear his thoughts.)
And the Sana sex would be very useful too. I mean it's not Skate,but Taterbot, you could console these hurt Skater-hearts.:bounce:

[so original]

the "Weak in the loins" conversation from the Moth (is that their first flirtation? I do believe it is)


Is that the one where she's all, "are you actually comparing yourself to Jack?!" cos if it is, I think we should get the Unspoken version of it, because of course she didn't mean that Jack was better than Sawyer when she said that, no, definitely not...

[jessica1984]

Oooh, an I Never in Unspokenvision:w00t: I would love someone to do that!!

[Shattered]

Is that the one where she's all, "are you actually comparing yourself to Jack?!" cos if it is, I think we should get the Unspoken version of it, because of course she didn't mean that Jack was better than Sawyer when she said that, no, definitely not...

That would be the one. Can we have an unspoken version where Sawyer slaps Kate after her Jack comment? Cause that would be nice. And deserved.

[confidence_woman]

Loved the whole thing - it was so frickin' hilarious!!!
The cuddling thing was in light of the screencaps where he is totally kissing her head, right?

''You got some 'splainin' to do!" - best. line. ever. Especially from Jack - he is such a ponce. Honestly, there are some days I just want Sawyer to completely lose his rag with Jack and just kill him....[evil laugh] :shifty:

Anyhoo, you really have to do more. One form the long con would be really good. Like one of the parts near the beginning, where she's about to read to him?
Yes please!!! :D

[Miss26thofmay]

Bot, sorry, I am late for both reading this great piece and for reviewing. By now really every great part has been quoted, so nothing left for me. But just take that, every single unpoken sentence rocked!!!! :w00t: And you solved the Locke in a wheelchair mystery, probably much better than it will be on the show. LMAO! That was so good.

[*physics my ass*]

Can we have an unspoken version where Sawyer slaps Kate after her Jack comment?

What? Sawyer hit Kate? Or not? ehh, confused!:confused:

Tate, these rock! You had me laughin for aaggeess! Keep em commin!:w00t: :D

[so original]

I'm gonna join the chorus for an I Never Unspoken. I was watching that episode last night, and I love the very beginning of the scene, where Sawyer is kinda baiting Kate to get a reaction. When he first pulls out the alcohol, he has this look on his face, all "*sigh* I'm so glad I have this alcohol. It's so good to have alcohol. I'm gonna sit here and enjoy. I'll enjoy it so damn much." And Kate takes the bait, asking where he got it.

That's just my interpretation of it, but it always makes me giggle.

[villana81]

oh that was amazing!!!:D
Protective Sawyer is so sweet and Zeke is so funny lol.

[chel_bel89]

OMG! That was .. wow! :crackup: Your frickin' hilarious taterbot. *laughs some more*

[*physics my ass*]

You have 2 do the I Never scene!! Unless you've allready done it and i've missed something.....

But if not you sooo shodo do it, that wood be soo awesome! ppllleeeaaassseee!

[Kater]

Ok, this is really random but I was just thinking, can you do the guava seeds scene? Cuz I just know Kate was thinking something else when Jack put that stuff in her hand.

[Superpally]

Ok, this is really random but I was just thinking, can you do the guava seeds scene? Cuz I just know Kate was thinking something else when Jack put that stuff in her hand.

Yeah, squirrel scat. :eek: How romantic. :shifty:

[Arachne]

Are there squirrels in the jungle? :)

[Superpally]

I believe the scientific name is squirrellus junglus. :giggle:

[taterbot]

I'll work on getting you guys something soon. I just have a huge to-do list (work, garden, bills, dinner and much much more), plus I'm way behind on my fic and I'm totally stir-crazy lately b/c it's summer. :) So...soon. Maybe maybe this weekend if everything falls into place. Thanks for all the awesome feedback. :)

[Shattered]

Any more Unspoken scenes coming?

Please?

[Devil's Espresso]

"Squirrelus jungulus." He he.

Z'omg! Shattered is still awake! Um... -not stalking-

[taterbot]

I was rewatching TFTR the other day and couldn't help but be struck by the inherent ridiculousness of Sana sex. So here you go:

The Incident: Now in Glorious UnspokenVision!

TWO FOR THE ROAD: PART 1

[Sawyer's pulling down mangoes. Ana-Lucia moseys up and starts fondling the testicular euphemisms.]

"Hey, I've been knocking those things down for 20 minutes. Get your hands off of my damn mangoes."

SawyerUnspoken: For one thing your technique looks terrible.

"I didn't figure you for the fruit-picking type."

SawyerUnspoken: Are you saying I'm gay? Or just fat? Because I'm positive I'm being insulted, but I'm not entirely clear how.

AnaLuciaUnspoken: Now you know how the rest of us feel.

"What do you want?"

SawyerUnspoken: I, for one, would like reparations for the ill treatment I suffered during my stay in your prisoner-of-war camp. I'll take a box of Thin Mints to start. I like cookies.

"I need a gun."

SawyerUnspoken: Is that a metaphor?

"Well, here's an idea--why not go to your buddy, Jack? He's got himself a gun. Oh, that's right, he's still traipsing around the jungle with Kate."

SawyerUnspoken: Do you think he lets her play with his gun?

AnaLuciaUnspoken: He probably likes to keep it to himself.

SawyerUnspoken: Were that it were so.

"If you've got a problem because he's making time with your girlfriend, don't take it out on me, man. How 'bout you just give me a gun?"

SawyerUnspoken: Don't make me angry, Lucy. You wouldn't like me when I'm angry.

AnaLuciaUnspoken: What? You gonna throw me over your knee and spank me?

SawyerUnspoken: You wish. I'm saving that trick for Freckles.

"Here's another idea--scram. You heard me, now get."

TWO FOR THE ROAD: PART 2

[Sawyer's walking alongside the creek when he hears something in the trees.]

SawyerUnspoken: First Claire, then Kate...based on the Others' proclivity for the pretty, I'm totally due for a kidnapping. Dammit. This is so not my year.

"Come out, come out whoever you are. I know you're there. Don't make me come in after you..."

[Ana-Lucia appears.]

SawyerUnspoken: Nor, apparently, is it my day.

"Well, well, well, what have we got here? Was Little Red Riding Hood going to follow the Big Bad Wolf back to his big old stash-o-guns?"

AnaLuciaUnspoken: Okay, you're such a cheating bastard. I can't believe you're using the little Red Riding Hood line on me. Everyone knows Kate's Red Riding Hood, and that's what makes it so epic that you, the wolf, fell in love with her. Well, that and the bloodshed and the ruined lives and all the failed expeditions to grandma's house.

SawyerUnspoken: I was referencing the "Fear, Itself" episode of Buffy the Vampire Slayer, but whatever.

"Why don't you give me that one, right there?"

SawyerUnspoken: My motivations for taking the guns remain shrouded in a mystical fog that lifts only once every thousand years, but Cockeye Sally, I'm positive it wasn't so you could continue your twisted love affair with firearms.

"I ain't going to give me you nothing. We've been through this, Lucy."

SawyerUnspoken: And why must I be so f**king florid all the time?! A simple "no" would suffice. [sigh] Reliably excellent line-readings: It's my blessing and my curse.

[She swings, she misses, he laughs, she wrestles him to the ground, he flips the crazy bitch, Skaters everywhere lament the utter defilement of the once-holy jungle love tackle.]

AnaLuciaUnspoken: Hey! I liked you better when you had a festering hole in your shoulder!

SawyerUnspoken: What can I say...bullets are my Kryptonite.

[He's got her pinned and takes a moment to taunt her.]

"What you gonna do now, muchacha?"

[Ana-Lucia starts kissing Sawyer.]

AnaLuciaUnspoken: Mama always said, the big brain indeed is unwilling, but the little brain is weak.

Sawyer's Little Brain: Hey! Who you callin' weak?!

AnaLucia's Mama: Hey! Don't drag me into this. Oh, by the way, you're adopted.

AnaLuciaUnspoken: Dammit! I knew there was a reason you were so much cooler than me!

[Ana-Lucia and Sawyer start pulling off each other's clothes.]

SawyerUnspoken: Look little fangirls, a man's got needs. And that's all I'm going to say about that.

AnaLuciaUnspoken: Who are you talking to?

Sawyer's Big Brain: Silencio, por favor! I'm trying to remember something, but I can't think straight with the racket going on downstairs.

Sawyer's Little Brain: WHHHEEEE! We're having sex! [Does the wave.]

[Angry jungle drums attempt to generate some sort of animalistic heat; usher us into commercial.]

TWO FOR THE ROAD: PART 3

SawyerUnspoken: For your sake, peaches, I hope that wasn't your A-game.

AnaLuciaUnspoken: Pugilistically or sexually?

SawyerUnspoken: I don't know what that first part means, but I do know I wouldn't be throwing around the word pug if I were you.

[Ana puts on her shirt as Sawyer watches.]

"What? Don't you want my phone number?"

AnaLuciaUnspoken: But, Sawyer, there are no phones on this Island.

SawyerUnspoken: Indeed.

AnaLuciaUnspoken: HEY!

SawyerUnspoken: You'll notice I'm not offering you my Dharmatel IM screenname either.

AnaLuciaUnspoken: Well, for your information, I'm already stalking you on MySpace. So there.

"You tell anyone about this, and I'll kill you."

AnaLuciaUnspoken: No, I mean it. I'll kill you.

[She takes off.]

"I guess that takes cuddling off the table."

KateUnspoken: Go directly to the hatch. Do not pass go. Do not collect $200. Look for the bottle labelled Kate's Patented Special Bleach-Ammonia Blend Cootie Remover. Chug.

AnaLuciaUnspoken: And you might want to pop a couple of amoxicillin while you're there. I'm just sayin'. The burning starts Thursday.

[Amber85]

Awesome, Taterbot! This made my mornig so much funnier!

I SawyerUnspoken: Are you saying I'm gay? Or just fat? Because I'm positive I'm being insulted, but I'm not entirely clear how.
Insulting Sawyer either as gay or as fat is just ... wrong. :rotflol:

SawyerUnspoken: Do you think he lets her play with his gun?
EEEEEWWW! Don't like the image, don't like the image....

AnaLuciaUnspoken: Okay, you're such a cheating bastard. I can't believe you're using the little Red Riding Hood line on me. Everyone knows Kate's Red Riding Hood, and that's what makes it so epic that you, the wolf, fell in love with her. Well, that and the bloodshed and the ruined lives and all the failed expeditions to grandma's house.
:D I like that!

AnaLuciaUnspoken: Mama always said, the big brain indeed is unwilling, but the little brain is weak.

Sawyer's Little Brain: Hey! Who you callin' weak?!

AnaLucia's Mama: Hey! Don't drag me into this. Oh, by the way, you're adopted.

AnaLuciaUnspoken: Dammit! I knew there was a reason you were so much cooler than me!
:crackup: That's just genius!

Sawyer's Little Brain: WHHHEEEE! We're having sex! [Does the wave.]
:rotflol:

[Athalia]

SawyerUnspoken: For your sake, peaches, I hope that wasn't your A-game.

AnaLuciaUnspoken: Pugilistically or sexually?

SawyerUnspoken: I don't know what that first part means, but I do know I wouldn't be throwing around the word pug if I were you.

[Ana puts on her shirt as Sawyer watches.]

"What? Don't you want my phone number?"

AnaLuciaUnspoken: But, Sawyer, there are no phones on this Island.

SawyerUnspoken: Indeed.

AnaLuciaUnspoken: HEY!

SawyerUnspoken: You'll notice I'm not offering you my Dharmatel IM screenname either.

AnaLuciaUnspoken: Well, for your information, I'm already stalking you on MySpace. So there.

LMAO! :rotflol:

I love it. More!

[Clarisse Aniston]

Lmao!!! That will help me if I ever decide (or have to) watch that scene ever again!!!
Btw, loved the LoVe reference, lmao!!!
Write more soon, please!!!!

[waitsleeplessly]

SawyerUnspoken: Are you saying I'm gay? Or just fat? Because I'm positive I'm being insulted, but I'm not entirely clear how.

:crackup:
SawyerUnspoken: I, for one, would like reparations for the ill treatment I suffered during my stay in your prisoner-of-war camp. I'll take a box of Thin Mints to start. I like cookies.


SawyerUnspoken: First Claire, then Kate...based on the Others' proclivity for the pretty, I'm totally due for a kidnapping. Dammit. This is so not my year.

:giggle:

That was hilarious! :rotflol: Great scene to pick.

[Miss26thofmay]

:crackup: Bot, you are killing me Dare I say, even if it is the incident, it is the best from all the Unspoken pieces so far. SawyerUnspoken: Do you think he lets her play with his gun? Awww!
Sawyer's Big Brain: Silencio, por favor! I'm trying to remember something, but I can't think straight with the racket going on downstairs.

Sawyer's Little Brain: WHHHEEEE! We're having sex! [Does the wave.] :giggle:
"What? Don't you want my phone number?"

AnaLuciaUnspoken: But, Sawyer, there are no phones on this Island.

SawyerUnspoken: Indeed.

AnaLuciaUnspoken: HEY!

SawyerUnspoken: You'll notice I'm not offering you my Dharmatel IM screenname either.

AnaLuciaUnspoken: Well, for your information, I'm already stalking you on MySpace. So there. This is the best part. What more can I say? Brilliant!

[Shattered]

Skaters everywhere lament the utter defilement of the once-holy jungle love tackle

Brilliant. Just brilliant.

[PsychodelicS]

Sawyer's Big Brain: Silencio, por favor! I'm trying to remember something, but I can't think straight with the racket going on downstairs.

Sawyer's Little Brain: WHHHEEEE! We're having sex! [Does the wave.]


lmao :p

[Leah Kate]

You managed to get this posted while you have the flu?? Man, now I feel inadequate. :p

SawyerUnspoken: For one thing your technique looks terrible.
That's because I'm assuming she's quite out-of-practice. Quite.

AnaLuciaUnspoken: What? You gonna throw me over your knee and spank me?

SawyerUnspoken: You wish. I'm saving that trick for Freckles.
LMAO. Just the thought of Kate's reaction to that... Wear a cup, Sawyer!

SawyerUnspoken: I was referencing the "Fear, Itself" episode of Buffy the Vampire Slayer, but whatever.
I always knew he was a Buffy fan. :D


SawyerUnspoken: And why must I be so f**king florid all the time?! A simple "no" would suffice. [sigh] Reliably excellent line-readings: It's my blessing and my curse.
Hee hee. :giggle: Sometimes I really do feel sorry for the guy. I think the writers just like to torture him. But I still can't wait to see that unbroken string of Sawyer insults that's supposed to be on the DVD set.

[She swings, she misses, he laughs, she wrestles him to the ground, he flips the crazy bitch, Skaters everywhere lament the utter defilement of the once-holy jungle love tackle.]
Ain't that the truth. :no:

AnaLuciaUnspoken: Mama always said, the big brain indeed is unwilling, but the little brain is weak.

Sawyer's Little Brain: Hey! Who you callin' weak?!

AnaLucia's Mama: Hey! Don't drag me into this. Oh, by the way, you're adopted.

AnaLuciaUnspoken: Dammit! I knew there was a reason you were so much cooler than me!
:rotflol: This whole sequence just killed me! I love that you're starting to add other voices into the mix... especially the fact that one of them just happens to be Sawyer's penis.

"You tell anyone about this, and I'll kill you."

AnaLuciaUnspoken: No, I mean it. I'll kill you.
Oh dear Lord. :rotflol: That was so perfectly Ana.

So, is Kate's voice in Sawyer's head? Because it should be... all the time! Here's hoping he follows her advice. And also, that the Others have some really great shower facilities at their prison complex.

I'm so glad you managed to post this, even though you said in another thread that you're not feeling well. These are always so much fun... I love when I get to read one first thing in the morning. (Yeah, I sleep late.) Thanks for taking the time to entertain us!

[LadyIrina]

Sawyer's Big Brain: Silencio, por favor! I'm trying to remember something, but I can't think straight with the racket going on downstairs.

Sawyer's Little Brain: WHHHEEEE! We're having sex! [Does the wave.]


*giggle-snort*
:crackup:
I loved that!
I love the entire thing!
Brilliant work!

[SweetRapture71]

Oh my God, Taterbot, that was absolutely amazing. *dies*

[badmamajama]

SawyerUnspoken: Don't make me angry, Lucy. You wouldn't like me when I'm angry.

;) I always found the Hulk (TV version) kinda hot. Imagining Sawyer/Josh like that is even hotter.


AnaLuciaUnspoken: Pugilistically or sexually?

SawyerUnspoken: I don't know what that first part means, but I do know I wouldn't be throwing around the word pug if I were you.

:rotflol: ouch. that is hilarious.

this was a good one- helps us to purge the terrible memories.

[lizziefitz]

Taterbot: making The Incident safe for Skaters. Now we can watch it for the eye candy and run the unspoken text. Gold star for the author!

[Arachne]

:rotflol: Amazing! I couldn't begin to choose a favourite part. :crackup:

[Kimmerz]

omg that was brilliant

SawyerUnspoken: First Claire, then Kate...based on the Others' proclivity for the pretty, I'm totally due for a kidnapping. Dammit. This is so not my year.

"Come out, come out whoever you are. I know you're there. Don't make me come in after you..."

[Ana-Lucia appears.]

SawyerUnspoken: Nor, apparently, is it my day.


:rotfl:

[She swings, she misses, he laughs, she wrestles him to the ground, he flips the crazy bitch, Skaters everywhere lament the utter defilement of the once-holy jungle love tackle.]
:nod: :wisely: :nod: wisely

SawyerUnspoken: You'll notice I'm not offering you my Dharmatel IM screenname either.

AnaLuciaUnspoken: Well, for your information, I'm already stalking you on MySpace. So there.

hahahahahahahahahahahahah :crackup:

[chel_bel89]

OMGSSHH! That was flipin' hilarious. loved this part.
Sawyer's Big Brain: Silencio, por favor! I'm trying to remember something, but I can't think straight with the racket going on downstairs.

Sawyer's Little Brain: WHHHEEEE! We're having sex! [Does the wave.] hehe the wave. To brillant! :giggle: And i loved the myspace comment. lol. Much love. :p

[so original]

Skaters everywhere lament the utter defilement of the once-holy jungle love tackle.

That's exactly what I said when I watched that scene. I love the Unspoken stuff.

SawyerUnspoken: Do you think he lets her play with his gun?

He's so paranoid! It's hilarious. I finally saw 3 minutes last night, and I couldn't believe the whole "caught in a net" thing. He's so jealous!

[taterbot]

Okay, I love doing these, but I always get hung up on what to do next. So, to save myself the trouble of making a decision, the next person to post a request gets it granted, with the following caveats:

* I won't do the "I never" scene because it's actually too perfect just as it is
* If I don't have it saved on my TiVo or my DVDs at home, I might not be about to do it, because my computer at home does not love iTunes downloads

Thanks for saving me the trouble of thinking. :) You guys rock.

[badmamajama]

How about something fun and fluffy and with some decent triangle angst - the haircut? Or, in the tradition of making the intolerable tolerable (a la "The Incident) the fireside scene in "Exodus" (pt.1, I believe) - which is so frustrating.

[taterbot]

Haircut and/or BTR eye-sex. Done. Coming soon/eventually. :)

[*physics my ass*]

:w00t: :D :w00t: LEGEND! wooo! Bring it on! PLLEEEAASSSEEE! :)

[Xxsawye_refugexX]

That was sooo good! Totaly funny xxxx

[Viggly]

OOOOooooo i love it...with cherries on.....

great stuff....

"what would jack do bracelet"

nearly got me thrown in an institute.......

x

[Kimmerz]

ok, the new jack kate missing scene, it must be done, it MUST be done, we're all already doing it in our heads, it deserves an unspoken


am i right?

[so original]

Kimmerz, you are most definitely right. I haven't even seen the scene, and I'm desperate for an unspoken version.

[Fantasysci5]

OMG! I LOVE the Unspoken chronicles! I just found them through the Skate Art Site, and I wish I had found them earlier! I completely agree with what their eyes were saying in it, and I REALLY want some more! Please...?! ^_^

WONDERFUL job!:w00t:

[Viggly]

*chants* MORE SOOOOOOOOON MORE SOOOOOOOON ect.

i just wanted this in the first page really! :D

[Kimmerz]

ok tate, you don't get to quit on us, nuh uh, you better catch up, b/c once s3 starts, there's gonna be so much more for you to write. WE MISS YOU

[so original]

Yeah, we say when you get to stop!!! lol. I don't really mean that. Don't hate me! *god, I'm weird*

I never even thought about what season 3 will do for this series. Now I'm even more excited.

[taterbot]

Greedy little buggers. ;) I actually just got some free time finally. We were dogsitting my BIL's stupid little dog and the thing was making me want to hurt myself. Anyway, I bought DVDs this weekend with you in mind. I have backlog of TV to catch up on, but I'll see if I can clear my schedule. :)

[Viggly]

*claps* YYYYYYYYYYYYYYYEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYY


im so very excited :D

[taterbot]

FIRESIDE CHAT, EVE OF THE RAFT LAUNCH: NOW IN GLORIOUS UNSPOKENVISION!

[Author's note: AFAIC, this scene from BTR is perfect already, so forgive me doing a tarantella across it, effectively leaving it in tatters and shreds. What can I say? It's one of the best Skate scenes ever, and a girl's gotta do what a girl's gotta do. Haircut scene coming next/later.]

"I'm back on the raft."

UnspokenKate: Congratulations. Do you mind if call you Ishmael?

UnspokenSawyer: You didn't find it all so quixotic when you still had a chance to sail off into the sunset all by your lonesome.

UnspokenKate: It wasn't supposed to be on my--oh, never mind.

"Glad to hear it."

UnspokenKate: I'm think I'm depressed...

UnspokenSawyer: Freckles, with all due respect, what else is new?

UnspokenKate: I was doing pretty well there for a while.

"Michael's going to cowboy up. We set sail tomorrow."

UnspokenKate: And you're his sea cowboy of choice. I get it, okay--stop rubbing it in.

UnspokenSawyer: You wanna be a sea cow? I could probably get you a job as a sea cow if you really wanted.

UnspokenKate: Manatees is a nice try, Sawyer, but I'm completely not smiling for you, so stop.

"You here to say sorry, Sawyer?"

UnspokenKate: There could be some sex in it for you. Okay, not sex. But quite possibly a smile.

"Nah. Sorry don't suit me...You cornered me, Freckles. Did what I had to."

UnspokenKate: Gruff raspy chuckles are gonna be hard to come by when you're gone, Sawyer. Maybe bring me one back from the mainland?

UnspokenSawyer: Would you please wipe that miserable look off your face? I'm sailing off to near-certain drowning. Any chance you could postpone the gigantic self-pity party until I'm gone, or maybe just take a break for a minute, and spare a thought for my impending certain death?

UnspokenKate: You're going to drown in your own B.S. before you ever drown in the ocean, you self-righteous ass.

"I cornered you?"

KateUnspoken: As if. And because I'm a lady, I'm not going to mention a certain arm-grabbing incident that the Jaters are going to hold against you forever.

SawyerUnspoken: Oh, honey, you're many things, but don't kid yourself--you're no lady.

KateUnspoken: And you, sir, are no gentleman.

SawyerUnspoken: You know, the Jaters should really mind their own damn business.

KateUnspoken: No kidding! I mean, we don't butt in on their spats with their boyfriends.

"You said if you wanted my spot, you were going to take it. Guess I believed you."

KateUnspoken: Why the hell would you pick now to start believing a word that I say?! I'm a known liar! Did you somehow lose the memo between yesterday and today? We're gypsies, tramps and thieves!

SawyerUnspoken: Don't you dare drag Cher into this.

"Well...that's that. I got some packing to do."

KateUnspoken: I'd tell you not to forget clean underwear, but I'm pretty sure you don't own any underwear at all, so just...go.

SawyerUnspoken: Any chance you want to let me have those panties you wore at the lagoon that day as a souvenir of our time together?

KateUnspoken: Not unless I'd be trading my panties for passage on that raft. Don't you understand anything?

SawyerUnspoken: What?! It's clean underwear! It's your clean underwear, but still...

"Why is it so important for you to be on that raft?"

SawyerUnspoken: Look here, flytrap, I ain't doin' it for my health. I just gotta do it.

KateUnspoken: I'm not what you think I am, you know. I'm not as cold, I'm not--

SawyerUnspoken: Then ask me to stay. And say it nice.

KateUnspoken: I can't.

SawyerUnspoken: Then neither can I.

"Because there ain't anything on this island worth staying for."

KateUnspoken: I think I must have crashed the plane. Somehow. Because that's what I do, somehow--I break things, and I break people. Wayne and mom and dad and Tom and the marshal and now even this. Sawyer and 747s, all the same.

"Be safe, Sawyer."

Sawyer: Miserable little wench doesn't care about anybody or anything. Never has, never will. Just like me.

"Yeah."

[Realynn]

OMG! This is so great! :w00t: :giggle: :w00t:

[Viggly]

haha: to this.... "SawyerUnspoken: You know, the Jaters should really mind their own damn business.

KateUnspoken: No kidding! I mean, we don't butt in on their spats with their boyfriends. "

lol :D

and aww to the rest. that was quite sad...not sure why......i think its cause hes leaving at that point :(...... whoop! to the haircut scene promise.

Thankyou for these btw...i didnt think iv said that yet.

[Rex-the-hamster]

KateUnspoken: As if. And because I'm a lady, I'm not going to mention a certain arm-grabbing incident that the Jaters are going to hold against you forever.



Loved the whole thing, but this line was easily my favourite... so true!!!!! Of course, Sawyer's not the only man to be involved in an arm-grabbing incident with Kate (WTCMB anyone???), but that gets forgotten.

This was really great, Taterbot!!!

[so original]

YAYYYYYYYYYYY!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

KateUnspoken: As if. And because I'm a lady, I'm not going to mention a certain arm-grabbing incident that the Jaters are going to hold against you forever.

SawyerUnspoken: Oh, honey, you're many things, but don't kid yourself--you're no lady.

KateUnspoken: And you, sir, are no gentleman.

SawyerUnspoken: You know, the Jaters should really mind their own damn business.

KateUnspoken: No kidding! I mean, we don't butt in on their spats with their boyfriends.



My all time favourite bit. you rock!

[villana81]

I LOVE ITTTTTTTTTT!!! so funny and touching at the same time :w00t:

[laszka]

Oh my... I didn't even laugh :shy: Because it's kind of sad... and so true...
:w00t: Perfect...

[Miss26thofmay]

Awesomly unspoken even if it was originally a very angsty and sad scene, you found a way to make me laugh! :giggle: SawyerUnspoken: Oh, honey, you're many things, but don't kid yourself--you're no lady.

KateUnspoken: And you, sir, are no gentleman.
Aww, "Gone with the wind" love.

[Bryden]

Wow! I've never seen this thread before. Excellent job -- I loved it!:w00t:

(And just because we're on the subject and I wasn't in the forum back then: I think after this scene, when Kate's in the tent talking to Sun about the "man I love," Kate is thinking about Sawyer. The timing of the scene is no coincidence. Kate's confused about her feelings, hurt at his "outing" her, and then the next day she's looking for him to say good-bye to him. Yep, I think that fireside scene is the first time Kate realized she was developing "real" feelings for Sawyer.)

[heatherlar]

UnspokenSawyer: You wanna be a sea cow? I could probably get you a job as a sea cow if you really wanted.

:rotflol: Sawyer, always trying to help out ...

"Why is it so important for you to be on that raft?"

SawyerUnspoken: Look here, flytrap, I ain't doin' it for my health. I just gotta do it.

KateUnspoken: I'm not what you think I am, you know. I'm not as cold, I'm not--

SawyerUnspoken: Then ask me to stay. And say it nice.

KateUnspoken: I can't.

SawyerUnspoken: Then neither can I.

"Because there ain't anything on this island worth staying for."

I love that part.

I'm greedy ... more, more, more!! I love this thread!

[Leah Kate]

Aww... that was perfect! So funny, and yet so sad and poignant at the same time. And how wonderful that you managed to reference Moby Dick, Gone with the Wind, and Cher... all in one update. :giggle:

UnspokenSawyer: Would you please wipe that miserable look off your face? I'm sailing off to near-certain drowning. Any chance you could postpone the gigantic self-pity party until I'm gone, or maybe just take a break for a minute, and spare a thought for my impending certain death?

UnspokenKate: You're going to drown in your own B.S. before you ever drown in the ocean, you self-righteous ass.
That's so on-the-mark them.


KateUnspoken: As if. And because I'm a lady, I'm not going to mention a certain arm-grabbing incident that the Jaters are going to hold against you forever.

SawyerUnspoken: Oh, honey, you're many things, but don't kid yourself--you're no lady.

KateUnspoken: And you, sir, are no gentleman.

SawyerUnspoken: You know, the Jaters should really mind their own damn business.

KateUnspoken: No kidding! I mean, we don't butt in on their spats with their boyfriends.
The whole passage. :rotflol:

KateUnspoken: I'm not what you think I am, you know. I'm not as cold, I'm not--

SawyerUnspoken: Then ask me to stay. And say it nice.

KateUnspoken: I can't.

SawyerUnspoken: Then neither can I.

KateUnspoken: I think I must have crashed the plane. Somehow. Because that's what I do, somehow--I break things, and I break people. Wayne and mom and dad and Tom and the marshal and now even this. Sawyer and 747s, all the same.

"Be safe, Sawyer."

Sawyer: Miserable little wench doesn't care about anybody or anything. Never has, never will. Just like me.

"Yeah."
*sigh* Just brings home once again how they know exactly what the other is thinking, yet they STILL haven't managed to bridge that gulf between what they want and what they won't let themselves have because they feel they don't deserve it. :(

So entertaining, as always. The haircut scene in UnspokenVision should be a total blast. :D

[Kimmerz]

that was SO worth the wait!

self righteous ass!!! HAHAHAHA. and the jater thing. oh goodness.

that was so fantastic!

oh man! i'm eating apple jacks :giggle:

i'm so thrilled for more!!! i AM greedy

[Athalia]

AH, I missed your updates! I loved the whole thing. So sad and sweet and funny at the same time. Totally worth the wait. :p

[waitsleeplessly]

Love the update!

UnspokenSawyer: Would you please wipe that miserable look off your face? I'm sailing off to near-certain drowning. Any chance you could postpone the gigantic self-pity party until I'm gone, or maybe just take a break for a minute, and spare a thought for my impending certain death?

UnspokenKate: You're going to drown in your own B.S. before you ever drown in the ocean, you self-righteous ass.

:rotflol:

[badmamajama]

FIRESIDE CHAT, EVE OF THE RAFT LAUNCH: NOW IN GLORIOUS UNSPOKENVISION!

"I'm back on the raft."

UnspokenKate: Congratulations. Do you mind if call you Ishmael?

UnspokenSawyer: You didn't find it all so quixotic when you still had a chance to sail off into the sunset all by your lonesome.

UnspokenKate: It wasn't supposed to be on my--oh, never mind.

"Glad to hear it."



:crackup: The Ishmael line is classic! Wouldn't it be great if Kate started sassing back to Sawyer with some one-liners? A great Unspoken - you really did rip the scene to shreds. IMO, this scene has always been so frustrating - love the angst, but I was yelling at both of them to just say what was written all over their faces. So thanks for getting that out and doing this scene. Great job as always, Taterbot!

[taterbot]

Thanks guys. This scene is sort of a nadir for Skate, so there's nowhere to go but up with the next one. Hopefully it'll be, you know, funnier. :)

[taterbot]

Fish Biscuits of Love: Now in Glorious UnspokenVision!

[Kate spots Sawyer.]

KateUnspoken: Sawyer’s here. Sawyer’s alive.

[Sawyer spots Kate.]

SawyerUnspoken: Kate! I wonder if my hair’s okay? Crap--of course the moment she shows up is the moment my head’s buried in a trough of animal crackers and raw sewage. Figures!

KateUnspoken: Help me. Please help me.

SawyerUnspoken: I gotcha, Freckles. I promise.

KateUnspoken: Oh god. They’re going to kill us both.

[Zeke locks Kate in the cage; Sawyer stares at her from his cell.]

SawyerUnspoken: She’s still got all her fingers and toes, so at least we have that in our favor. Damn, has she always been so little? Why didn’t I ever know she was that skinny?

[Kate’s faced away from Sawyer and Zeke.]

KateUnspoken: I’ll never tell him. For his own good, he can’t know.

“If you stick your hands out through the bars, I’ll take off your cuffs. Scratched you up pretty bad, didn't they? I’ll bring you some antiseptic later.”

SawyerUnspoken: Who the hell is “they”—does he mean the cuffs or does he mean a person? If it’s a person, he’s just entirely dead, even before the good jailer here.

“Why don’t you bring me an ottoman? While you’re at it, I could use a blowdry.”

KateUnspoken: Hey! I’ll do all the Sawyer barbering around here, thank you very much. No farming it out to Others you big traitor!

“You got yourself a fish biscuit! How’d you do that?”

“I figured out your complicated gizmos, that’s how.”

“Only took the bears two hours.”

“Well, how many of them were there?”

SawyerUnspoken: Asshole.

KateUnspoken: I resent that.

SawyerUnspoken: Not you, sweetheart, but you are a sight for sore eyes.

“You okay Freckles?”

KateUnspoken: Hi, Sawyer. You know, I think you’d give a nickname to your executioner. Maybe we’ll go up there, to the guillotine, together, so at least I can laugh a little before I die. God I missed you.

“Yep. You?”

KateUnspoken: Who am I kidding? The blade would bounce off your thick skull. If I were the nickname type, I’d call you Timex. You take a lickin’ and keep on tickin’…

“I requested that cage—but whatever.”

KateUnspoken: Oh god. I don’t…

SawyerUnspoken: Hey! There’s no crying in baseball!

“Nice dress.”

SawyerUnspoken: That ought to piss her off. Better mad than sad.

KateUnspoken: Sawyer, you’re transparent as glass.

“They made me wear it.”

SawyerUnspoken: F--k. They’re pushing every button she’s got.

KateUnspoken: No, I’m okay, really.

SawyerUnspoken: If she doesn’t let me help her, she’s gonna crack like a sidewalk. Goddammit…

“You hongry?”

KateUnspoken: Do you have mangoes?!

SawyerUnspoken: Here, catch.

[He throws her the biscuit. She eats it.]

KateUnspoken: Maybe it’s mango-flavored…

SawyerUnspoken: Kate’s eating…

KateUnspoken: This is the most disgusting thing I’ve ever had in my mouth. I think I might throw up.

SawyerUnspoken: It’s not the same as Kate happy and safe, but it’ll do for now.

KateUnspoken: Thank you. For the fish biscuit. And for helping me to not cry.

SawyerUnspoken: Anytime at all, sugar.

[Viggly]

you got a link for that actual scene? *bless the aussieness*

[Kaye]

Oh, You are sooo QUICK! This little scene was kind of magnificent, and everything was there:rolleyes: . I need to read it again, cause I feel tears in my eyes, could Sawyer please help me not cry:D , like you showed he's a master of?

Thanks, it was the most wonderful thing to have with the morning coffee.

[ale_corason]

SawyerUnspoken: It’s not the same as Kate happy and safe, but it’ll do for now.

KateUnspoken: Thank you. For the fish biscuit. And for helping me to not cry.

SawyerUnspoken: Anytime at all, sugar.

Awwwww... :lotsalove :hug2: :hug: I love this scene {I think that's maybe the favorite Skate scene of us (me)} and with these... *speechles*

[Viggly]

just watched and OMG love this unspoken

[so original]

those last 2 lines = perfection. actually, it all =perfection, but those last 2 lines= extra perfection, if that's actually possible. It makes me cry reading it and I havent even seen the scene!

[Fericita]

Here's a link to the actual scene from the episode on youtube: skate scene (http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=tqWQ-jP-ilY&NR)

Taterbot, that was great! I didn't even think about the possibility of "they" being people, not the handcuffs. Makes me wonder how long a period of time it was between the Survivor-reward-challenge breakfast on the beach with Ben/Henry and when she was brought to the cage. Obviously more than two hours, if that's also when Sawyer was locked up and when LOST has decided to get realistic with the space-time continuum. Something new to worry about. But, that's probably a discussion for another thread!

[villana81]

awwww I love it!!!!!!!! he's so trying to cheer up!!
I almost cried too at the end.

[Rex-the-hamster]

KateUnspoken: I’ll never tell him. For his own good, he can’t know.

This brought tears to my eyes coz I have the scary thought that this is EXACTLY what she was thinking.

Taterbot, this was just incredible, fabulous, etc!!!

[Realynn]

Oh, this was great! I loved it! Sweet and funny!

[Leah Kate]

Awwww..... :lotsalove I can't even quote, because I'd have to quote the whole freakin' thing. Every line, absolutely beautiful. That scene was made to be "Unspoken'd." All the lingering looks and pauses. I still can't believe we actually got a Skate scene like that. I feel like maybe it's a collective dream, or that it's fanfic come to life. "Just friends," my ass. I've never seen two TV characters more patently in love. And you manage to capture that SO well, in your own perfect way... adding just the right touch of poignance and humor. I love it!! Can't wait till we get the slave labor/kiss scene in Unspoken Vision. :D

[badmamajama]

[B][SIZE="4"]

KateUnspoken: Hi, Sawyer. You know, I think you’d give a nickname to your executioner. Maybe we’ll go up there, to the guillotine, together, so at least I can laugh a little before I die. God I missed you.

“Yep. You?”

KateUnspoken: Who am I kidding? The blade would bounce off your thick skull. If I were the nickname type, I’d call you Timex. You take a lickin’ and keep on tickin’…

“I requested that cage—but whatever.”

KateUnspoken: Oh god. I don’t…

SawyerUnspoken: Hey! There’s no crying in baseball!

“Nice dress.”

SawyerUnspoken: That ought to piss her off. Better mad than sad.

KateUnspoken: Sawyer, you’re transparent as glass.

“They made me wear it.”

SawyerUnspoken: F--k. They’re pushing every button she’s got.



I'm positive Sawyer would nickname his executioner. What a great day! A new Lost last night and all kind of goodies already up this morning! I love this one. I didn't think this scene could get any better but you did it. So tender and yet so funny.

[SweetRapture71]

As soon as I saw this scene, and all Josh's lovely little faces of angst and whatnot, I couldn't wait for it to be an Unspoken thinger.

Absolutely un-disappointed. Perfection. :D

-is NOT crying-

[Arachne]

Aw man, that's so sweet yet funny. :cloud9:

You really captured the mood. :)

[Viggly]

if you read this whilst watchng the ep back, and pausing to read the unspokens....its even MORE perfect- if thats possible. Taterbot.... WE LOVE YOU UBERLY LOTS AND LOTS AND LOOOOTS. thankyou for sharing your greatness :D

[Realynn]

I love these, thank you so much!

Anyone knows when the next will be up?

[Viggly]

*restarts nagging of taterbot*

and there are SO many loverly skate scenes to work with now :D x

[Kimmerz]

i second that! was just thinkin it

[kitt-i]

wowey. you made my day:D was really pissed off and moody today:blank: after reading all your unspoken skate stuff i'm so much better. thank you *huggles you*

[Kimmerz]

agh! why do all of my fav stories keep dissapearing!!??!!?? post post!!! only a few more weeks!!!!!!!

[Ursus maritimus]

I love these! :w00t:

I think because of that evil tease you did the other day you are obligated to do another unspoken snene or finish S.O.S. :D Anyone agree? :giggle:

[taterbot]

My life is beyond crazy, BUT I'll see what I can do. No promises. :)

[*physics my ass*]

Ah, I sooo want you to post more.

POST MORE! lol.

[sylvia]

Awww, how have I never seen this before? I just went through the whole thread. These are fabulous and adorable at the same time. I want my 'unspoken-version' DVD! Sometime you have to tackle the bunny hop. And also the EMFH angst and stuff. :please:!!! Thanks for sharing :)

[villana81]

I can't wait to see the version of what happened in Glass Ballerina, Every man for himself and I do!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

[emma4713]

i just read this whole thing all the way through. it's amazing!
i need more!