TWoP Jate

[laura_lynn]

I don't know if any of you ever visit televisionwithoutpity.com but it is the world's greatest site. The site is full of reviews of television shows that mock them, but all in good fun. My sig is always TWoP. Here are some Jate comments, but check out the site!

She tells him to forget it and turns to leave again, but he grabs her and hugs her, and she fights him and then starts to cry while he tells her it's okay in his big Jack doctor arms and she burbles about this place driving her crazy, and Jack tells her again that it's all right, and then they gaze into each other's eyes, and then they're kissing while the strings swell, and they suck face for about five hours before coming up for air.

Charlie and Hurley have wisely elected not to watch, likely figuring that all the talk of strokes and shafts and balls and holes would be too much for Kate and Jack to withstand.

And it turns out, the entire Swan Station experiment is a contrived reason to get Kate a shower scene. Jack can't stop grinning as he asks a surprised, towel-clad Kate how the shower is, and she says that the pressure sucks and the water went cold at one point and it kind of smells like sulfur, but hey, it's a shower. "You could use one," she suggests, not in a "you stink" kind of way, but in a "concern for his welfare" kind of way, and she's not too pissed to be caught in the shower by him, but I doubt she would be.

"If I was checking you out, you'd know it," Jack says. Actually, I think the only people from whom that statement is necessarily true are blind people. Kate asks what he was thinking then, and he says he was thinking about how they could build a dam around the spring and move the infirmary off the beach. Kate looks crestfallen that Jack wasn't thinking about her ass. "It makes sense," Kate says. "But...?" Jack prompts. "No but," Kate replies. Heh. No butt.

"I can fix this place up real good. Might even find someone to share it with me," he says, looking at Kate, who's too busy throwing smouldering looks at Jack's departing back to notice. Oh, Jackie, we crashed and you led us to safety. But now you're walking away, oh Jackie...

Kate's heading back to the beach, because she wants to find out if Sayid's plan worked, because then they'd be -- "one step closer to getting off this island," he finishes for her, and then they kind of avoid looking at each other. You know, you two could still have sex even if you got off the island, you idiots. Well, Kate might be in jail. Still, there's always conjugal visits. He thanks her for the sling again, and she gazes lustily at him as she says, "You're welcome," and still he doesn't move in for the kiss. Moron.

[Jess*]

Kate's heading back to the beach, because she wants to find out if Sayid's plan worked, because then they'd be -- "one step closer to getting off this island," he finishes for her, and then they kind of avoid looking at each other. You know, you two could still have sex even if you got off the island, you idiots. Well, Kate might be in jail. Still, there's always conjugal visits. He thanks her for the sling again, and she gazes lustily at him as she says, "You're welcome," and still he doesn't move in for the kiss. Moron.

Haha, I love that. I seriously laughed out loud.

[LovebirdsJATE]

Me to, if you find more, post them. That was good.

[~Paula~]

TWoP is the best site ever!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! :D i'm a TWoP addict, love it... and even if sometimes the recapper isn't really "nice" to our ship there are some great comments!

:D i love that at the end of the "are you checking me out" scene he says: heh. No butt. and then adds something like "that's not what I saw" or something like that... made me laugh so much..

the sling scene i think is the best one.. "she gazes lustily at him" and "still he doesn't move in for the kiss. Moron." are great, lol

[aredburn]

"Moron"

HAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA

[Natih]

one step closer to getting off this island," he finishes for her, and then they kind of avoid looking at each other. You know, you two could still have sex even if you got off the island, you idiots. Well, Kate might be in jail. Still, there's always conjugal visits.



HAHAHAHAHAHAHAHHAAHHAHAHAHA:D :D :D :D :D :D :D :D OMFG...THIS WAS HILARIOUS!!!!!!

[Desiree_jk]

Good ones! Thanks for posting them.:)

[Foxy<3]

I love that site, some of the comments in the reviews are hilarious :D

Very Jatey ;)

[-Laura-]

Those are so funny...I might head over there later on, I haven't visited TWoP in ages....

[StandardBlack]

I love that site!!

I liked Dan Kwa's summaries the best, he was sooooooooooooo funny!!!! "my attractive lawyer wife says..." "my friend who speaks Korean assures me..." "Boone, god's friggin gift to humanity...." :rotflol: :crackup:

[Jate+Pb&J9389]

OMG i just read them they're sooooooo funny :crackup: !!!!!

[Nokoolaidforme]

Lol yeah ive read that guys reviews of Lost before, hes always so harsh on everybody. But i didnt read those ones, guys actually into Jack and kate.

[ItsALongWayDown]

That guy know what's going on. :)

[Lin]

I love TWoP...:) I also love these:

Wow. Is this scene awkward now. Jack strolls up to Ana-Lucia sitting on the beach, offering her a tequila and tonic

I agree.. that scene was just too awkward! :D

Sawyer mutters something again. Again, Jack can't quite catch it, and the still-mostly-out-of-it Sawyer says it again: "I love her." Jack looks slightly chagrined, and sits down, probably trying to think of a loophole in the Hippocratic Oath that will allow him to let Sawyer die.

:crackup: :crackup: :crackup:

[aredburn]

hahahahahahahah I'm sure all of us were thinking the same

die sawyer die!!

[ukjaterlover!]

I love those, they are soooo funny, and great to read as a jater. It is great to see that others see what we do. The clear attraction between Jack and Kate since day 1!

[{Mimsy}]

It's funny, but the writer(s) is/are obviously Jaters :P

[Freckles4eva]

[I]Sawyer mutters something again. Again, Jack can't quite catch it, and the still-mostly-out-of-it Sawyer says it again: "I love her." Jack looks slightly chagrined, and sits down, probably trying to think of a loophole in the Hippocratic Oath that will allow him to let Sawyer die.

:crackup: :crackup: :crackup:


:rotflol:HAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA!!! OMG These are hillarious, I love this site now, I'm gonna visit it after every episode just to see what they say:crackup:

[jater_luvs_josh]

:crackup: These are hilarious!!!!

[Jess*]

I found one that made me giggle!

Jack strolls up. "You hooked it. Try keeping your left arm straight," he says. Didn't she hit it where she was aiming? Wasn't that why Hurley said, "Crap"? Did I miss something? Oh, wait, Jack's just being a know-it-all. Should have known. "You're giving me tips?" says Kate, all incredulous, like maybe I missed the episode where Kate's backstory is that she's Annika Sorenstam or something. Kate, he's a doctor. "Kate, I'm a doctor," he says. She asks if he thinks he could do better, and Jack laughs his silly-woman laugh. He says that anyone can hit a ball, but that's not golf. "Golf is accuracy," he says. It's a real pompous-athon tonight, isn't it? Kate suggests playing a few holes and seeing who's more accurate. And she's flirting with him. So I guess the Kate love train is back on the Jack track. Of course, the writers are only doing this because Sawyer's coming back to the camp this episode. Jack looks over at Charlie and Hurley and grins, and the two of them are over to the side hooting like Statler and Waldorf. Jack thinks she's kidding, but she ain't: "Three holes, no handicap, we play for bragging rights." And hey, what are they waiting for? They stroll off. Charlie looks like he's enjoying this, Hurley looks somewhat nonplussed that his game is over.


And another:

Another shot of Kate and Jack talking, and Kate smacking Jack when he reaches for her food. Did they get married or something?

[aredburn]

Did they get married or something?

AWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWW :lotsalove

we wish.

[Natih]

"You're giving me tips?" says Kate, all incredulous, like maybe I missed the episode where Kate's backstory is that she's Annika Sorenstam or something.

hahahahahahahahahahaahahah...i thought the same thing....Kate was a way too cocky...:D


Another shot of Kate and Jack talking, and Kate smacking Jack when he reaches for her food. Did they get married or something?

I Think they feel like they are:lotsalove :banana:

[ukjaterlover!]

Awwww those are soooo great. I wish they were married.lol. I think we all do. I love those scenes from 'Collision', but it is right that the writers did it because Sawyer was coming back. Why must they always torture us like that!!!

Jate is fate!Jate is fate!Jate is fate!

[Too_Lost_in_You]

Thank you i love that site :crackup:

"Michael tries to intervene, and Ana-Lucia fires a warning shot and manages not to kill anybody (THAT WE CAN SEE)"

"Looks like they went bloody Lord of the Flies out there," he says, referencing easily the greatest novel ever to begin with "Lord of the…"

"Locke's smiling like he wants to say, "Well, that's a great story, but you should know that over here, I'm the mystic."

"So I guess the Kate love train is back on the Jack track"

:crackup: :crackup: :crackup:

[Natih]

HAHAHAHAHAHAH...I LOVED IT....HE'S SO HILARIOUS:D :D :D :D


Right, so all of the would-be rescuers are freaking out over the second collapse, worried about Jack and Charlie running out of air (even though I don't think they have any way of knowing if the two of them are actually still alive). *Mercutio yells at everyone to shut up because he's trying to think. And great, just what we need is Kate running up so she can start in with her grief and concern that you might expect from Jack's wife of 25 years and not from a crash co-survivor. "Where's Jack?" she yells a couple of times, and maybe someone can explain to her what a cave-in is, because I'm guessing if she wants to know where Jack is, the big ol' pile of rubble is a pretty good damn clue. Nobody wants to tell the distraught Mrs. Jack anything, until Hurley finally jerks his head towards the rubble and says, "He's in there." Kate wants to know if Jack's alive, and Mercutio tells her everything that's happened. Then Kate asks a very good question: "Why isn't anyone digging?" Maybe Locke came by and explained to everybody that they could help Jack and Charlie by widening a hole for them, but they'll be stronger if they make it out themselves. And Kate heads back to what appears to be the hole where the tunnel was that just collapsed. I don't have "eight years in construction" or anything, but that seems to fall on the "bad idea" side of the ledger, doesn't it? Only Mercutio doesn't say anything this time.
I guess he knows that when you care about someone as much as Kate does, God himself will erect Magical Buttresses of Love for you.

Outside, Kate's clearing out the collapsed-once-already tunnel, even as Mercutio tries to get her to take a break (this after we've seen a couple of shots to indicate how exhausted everyone else is, just so we're clear about how intent Kate is here). Kate just glares at him and keeps going. Shut up, Mercutio! She's a good digger


*Mercutio=Michael(hauhauhauahuah...Romeo+Juliet)

[ukjaterlover!]

I loved that. I love that they reffered to Kate as 'Mrs Jack'.lol :rotflol: Thats hillarious. These are so great!They always make me smile!:D

[aredburn]

Mrs Jack!!!!!

Why can't everybody else agree with that? The world would be a better place.

[Natih]

OMG...THAT IS REALLY CUTE:lotsalove


In a clearing, they find pilot's wings in a puddle. Looking up, they try to make sense of an odd shape in the treetops -- Dominic Monaghan does a funny head-tilt here -- and then Jack, trudging out of the woods, tells them it's the pilot. Kate runs to Jack and gives him the kind of non-hug that characters who really love each other give each other in movies set before 1900, which is to say she gets really close to him and breathy and looks into his eyes but doesn't actually touch him. I bet Kate Beckinsale never thought she'd fall in love with a commoner so quickly.

[katrina_x]

"Heh. No butt." "Moron."

:crackup: :crackup:

[Natih]

This touching moment is interrupted by Jack, who calls Kate over to check out the cut on her face. The guy has no bedside manner; he totally manhandles Kate in this scene. Why not check her teeth while you're at it, Jack?


HAUHAUHAUHAAUH...AMAZING!!!:D

[katrina_x]

This touching moment is interrupted by Jack, who calls Kate over to check out the cut on her face. The guy has no bedside manner; he totally manhandles Kate in this scene. Why not check her teeth while you're at it, Jack?

:thud: :thud: :thud: :thud: SQUEE!

[Too_Lost_in_You]

OMG...THAT IS REALLY CUTE:lotsalove


In a clearing, they find pilot's wings in a puddle. Looking up, they try to make sense of an odd shape in the treetops -- Dominic Monaghan does a funny head-tilt here -- and then Jack, trudging out of the woods, tells them it's the pilot. Kate runs to Jack and gives him the kind of non-hug that characters who really love each other give each other in movies set before 1900, which is to say she gets really close to him and breathy and looks into his eyes but doesn't actually touch him. I bet Kate Beckinsale never thought she'd fall in love with a commoner so quickly.

I was just going to post that :D Sooo cute!:lotsalove

[Natih]

At Hurley's protesting, Jack says, "What's she gonna do? She's a hundred and twenty pounds soaking wet." Also, he adds, she has a dimple in her chin, she smells of lilacs, and she has type A-positive blood

HAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHHA

So wait a minute: Jack seriously thought that an unarmed Kate couldn't harm a mortally wounded man who's so weak that he can barely speak? What the fuck? Walt could kill the guy at this point


HAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA..AGAIN!!!!!!!!

[katrina_x]

At Hurley's protesting, Jack says, "What's she gonna do? She's a hundred and twenty pounds soaking wet." Also, he adds, she has a dimple in her chin, she smells of lilacs, and she has type A-positive blood

:crackup: :crackup: :crackup: :crackup:

[Vaudney]

Twop is the funniest site aorund. :D It always cracks me up in their reviews. :) They're genious ;)

[Emma]

I know this hasn't got anything to do with Jate, but "We meet Sayid and Charlie; Sayid is from the Middle East, Charlie from the Shire." :rotflol:

I'm loving these :D

[Natih]

I know this hasn't got anything to do with Jate, but "We meet Sayid and Charlie; Sayid is from the Middle East, Charlie from the Shire." :rotflol:

I'm loving these :D


hahahahahahhahahaahha LMAO :crackup: :crackup: :crackup: :crackup:

[littlejen]

I love Daniel's recaps...I think he's hilarious! :D

Kate runs up, and she's all, "Oh my god!" and Jack tells her to get the dynamite, and she starts to take off her knapsack, and Jack says, "No, no, it's in my pack," and Locke isn't in too imminent danger I guess for Kate not to glare at Jack, and all I can say is it's a damn good thing the dynamite wasn't in your pack, Florence Griffith Joyner.

Jack tells Kate to get down to the beach and ransack Sawyer's stuff and get all the alcohol he has, rubbing, Scotch, like any excuse for a drink for Jack.

[~Paula~]

As someone said before i agree Dan Kwa was way better than Daniel, but he's funny too! :D :crackup: omg i loved Denny, the friend who speaks korean and his attractive lawyer wife, LOL ...

:D, from HoTRS, when Jin and Michael are fighting: "while Sun, according to my friend Denny who speaks Korean, screams, "Jin! No! You are taking our discussion of an S&M threesome with [Mercutio] too far!"

"Jin angrily shouts something, translated by my friend Denny, who speaks Korean, as "These handcuffs are hott!""

"Back in the cave, Jack inspects the two corpses, noting that they seem to have been laid to rest there. "Where'd they come from?" Kate asks. Jack notes that they shot a polar bear recently. "Where'd that come from?" Heh. He also speculates that the bodies are 40 to 50 years old, because in addition to being a doctor and an amateur pilot, Jack's also a forensic investigator." :Dhee

:) someone already put the "are you checking me out" part, but i love the end of it, when she says "no but" and Dan adds "Heh. No butt." and then, lol "That's not what I saw" hehe

[aredburn]

Hahahahahahahahaha I loooooved Denny, my friend who speaks Korean!

[~Paula~]

:D more Denny...

No subtitles this time -- I imagine because the two Koreans aren't speaking to each other -- but I checked with my friend Denny, who speaks Korean, and he told me Sun very clearly said, "I am exceedingly happy with my marriage." Then Jin hollers at her to amp up the demure and button the top button of her shirt. "I'm trying to collect sea urchins here!" he yells. "Your open top button is too tempting, because I love your hot body!"
------

> When Jin offers to Hurley sea urchin...

According to my friend Denny, who speaks Korean, they share the following conversation:
Jin: (I am totally turned on by your washing out your filthy underpants in the ocean!)
Hurley: 'Sup?
Jin: (Have some sea urchin! It's an aphrodisiac!)
Hurley: What, that?
Jin: (The natural enzymes present in sea urchin will make you a more powerful lover! Eat this and no person with whom you have sex will ever be unsatisfied again!)
Hurley: What, eat that?
Jin: (Please eat this sea urchin off my bare chest!)
Hurley: Dude, I'm starving, but I'm nowhere near that hungry.
------

> Jin offers sea urchin to Claire...

Jin walks up to offer her some sea urchin. "Though I am being driven mad by my priapism," he says, in Korean, according to my friend Denny, who speaks Korean, "I would like to offer you this sea urchin. However, when you taste it, steer clear of me, because its aphrodisiac qualities may cause you to force yourself upon me, and I would have no option but to ravish you, and I do not want to dent the baby head."

and...

"I just felt it!" she cries, and grabs Jin's hand. "No, no," he protests, "don't make me touch your pregnant belly. You are too sexy. I DON'T WANT TO DENT THE BABY HEAD!"
------

>When Michael asks Sun to baby-sit Walt in Walkabout and then the "toothpaste" scene...

Anyways, Sun responds in Korean, of course, and my friend Denny, who speaks Korean, tells me she says, "You've seen me naked, [Mercutio]. Why won't you take off your pants?"
--
Sun turns to Walt; according to my friend Denny, who speaks Korean, she says, "My husband's turgid sperm has never impregnated me, so my womb cries out for you, darling boy." "Whatever" Walt replies.
--
She plucks off a leaf and demonstrates brushing her teeth. "I get it, it's like toothpaste," Walt says, and then she teaches him, for some reason, the Korean word for "nuts." At least according to my friend Denny, who speaks Korean.

:crackup: I love TWoP
oh and to keep it On-Topic there's this tiny jate fragment, i know is not much but for some reason i've always liked this part..

Jack's wearing his white shirt and dark pants and brooding about how he killed Shrap. Cripes, if this island is haunted, I want it to be by ghost pirates or something, not by everyone's guilt. Kate plops down next to him. With her white blouse and dark jeans they kind of look like one of those Midwestern couples who wear matching clothes on vacation. Also, they both look sad and pensive.

[katrina_x]

Jack's wearing his white shirt and dark pants and brooding about how he killed Shrap. Cripes, if this island is haunted, I want it to be by ghost pirates or something, not by everyone's guilt. Kate plops down next to him. With her white blouse and dark jeans they kind of look like one of those Midwestern couples who wear matching clothes on vacation. Also, they both look sad and pensive.

:lotsalove AWW...

And LMAO about Denny's quotes!!! :crackup:

[Sophie]

lmao These are hilarious Paula!!! :crackup: :crackup:

[IndieKisses]

I love all of these! I just sat and read the whole thread through and laughed so much that I just had to go to the original site. :) Here's another one I found that cracked me up:

"As Jack and Kate take cover, she goes off on him for taking the dynamite in his pack, which you know she's been waiting to do for hours. Come to think of it, I'd like to know just how it was that Jack pulled off that little bit of sleight of hand anyway. "I made a judgment call," he says, and she points out that they drew straws, and he points out, completely correctly, that this was too important to be decided by drawing straws. He might also want to point out that since she went running willy-nilly all over the place when she thought she had dynamite in her pack, he made exactly the right call."

[{Mimsy}]

LMAO!!!

Is the Korean translations real????

[aredburn]

Is the Korean translations real????

Of course not! :rotflol:


I think.

[Lostbeth]

:lotsalove AWW...

And LMAO about Denny's quotes!!! :crackup:

Katrine, just about you banner. I Love King Kong and I Love Jack and Ana.

Me and my friends has gone to see it yesterday and we cried like 3 times :D
Jack our Hero :p

[{Mimsy}]

Of course not! :rotflol:


I think.


It would be funy oif they were. Like the wroters put them in there for a joke ..

[~Paula~]

:D i love the backpack part!!! finally they agree with Jack on something, and he's totally right! Kate would have exploded in tiny bits if it weren't for Jack and the dinamite change...

:crackup: if the translations were real it'd be so cool! but nope, they're not real, i remember some site were people who speaks corean kindly translated the parts that don't have subtitles... the "Denny translation" comes from the great mind of Dan Kwa, heeeee

[Natih]

Katrine, just about you banner. I Love King Kong and I Love Jack and Ana.

Me and my friends has gone to see it yesterday and we cried like 3 times :D
Jack our Hero :p


OMG Liesbeth....I saw it yesterday..and I LOVED IT...Adrien Brody was so Hot...and Jack and Ann were perfect together:D :D ...but i have to say that i cried a lot when Kong died:bawl:

[Lostbeth]

Yeah me too !! I love King Kong. The whole movie we wanted Jack and Ann (NOT ana :p )kissing on Tore Kongs shoulder :D

And their first meeting was sooo hot, well their first real conversation. Shirtless Jack. But I do like our Jack more :D

[Is_It_Wednesday]

I just went on TWoP for the first time the other night and was in tears laughing! So funny!

[~Paula~]

:D more TWoP...

I love the summaries of the eps they do...

That Girl From Pyongyang (Unfurled My Long Wang)
House of the Rising Sun - This week's overly complicated backstory: Jin worked as an enforcer for Sun's father in Koreastralia. Sun almost left him for good at the Sydney airport, but gave him one more chance. Now she's stuck on an island with a bunch of people who don't know she speaks English. Meanwhile, Charlie gets stung by bees, Jack and Kate strip down, Michael gets beat up, and those two desiccated corpses just pretty much lie there.

Digging in the dirt
The Moth - Jack's trapped in a cave-in. Getting him out has the double benefit of making Kate love him more and helping Charlie kick heroin. Sayid gets knocked out by someone. Also, if you watch really closely, you might see a moth or two, but it's quite subtle

Just Because My Words Were Lies (Doesn't Mean My Love Weren't True)
Confidence Man - Kate knows that you attract more flies with honey than you do with vinegar. But Sawyer knows that what attracts the most flies of all is bullsh*t. > :crackup: not Jate but still i love it!

Good…bad…Ana's the one with the gun
Collision - Ana-Lucia flashes back to her days as one of L.A.'s finest, and a lapse in judgment costs her her unborn baby. Amazingly, despite a tragic backstory, she remains largely unsympathetic. > :D ha! totally right btw..

Bits from the "Collision" recap:

"Jack turns on the water, and he and Sawyer are finally getting their shower scene together." > gotta love the Jawyer

"...but even unconscious, Sawyer has to be a pain in the ass and refuse.."

"Sawyer mutters something about the other guys laughing at him for not making People's sexy list. "Even Dominic made it," he whispers, and rolls over." > :crackup: sorry girls..i know a lot of you love Sawyer but i don't and i found that so funny!

also, a lot of people wondered Why Kate kissed Jack, and i love the answer this girl gave over the TWoP forum:

Prettyeyes
As for why Kate kissed Jack, for the same reason she kissed Sawyer besides the need for Shannon's ashtma inhalers- he's hot. That's reason enough for me.

oh well, sorry for this long silly post, i was bored!

[Natih]

Prettyeyes
As for why Kate kissed Jack, for the same reason she kissed Sawyer besides the need for Shannon's ashtma inhalers- he's hot. That's reason enough for me.

WOWWWWWW...THAT'S ENOUGH REASON FOR ME TOO:D :D :D :D :D ...OMFG...DOES EVANGELINE LILLY KNOW HOW FREAKIN LUCKY SHE IS? WHY NOT ME?:bawl:

[~Paula~]

^^^ :D yep Natih, that's enough reason for me too!!!!!! lucky lucky woman...


ETA: :D i'm bored out of my mind... and Denny's quotes i love, so...

from Confidence Man:

Mercutio finds Sun and hurriedly asks her if the branches he'd holding are the right ones. She smiles and says they are. Suddenly Jin shows up, waving his arms and talking that dang gobbledygook he talks all the time. According to my friend Denny, who speaks gobbledygook, he's saying, "Are these the plants for the mentholated erotic body cream I love so much? Ah, [Mercutio], join us in our slippery, sinus-clearing dalliance!"

and to keep this on the Jate subject, from Hearts and Minds:

She smiles. This is Jack's cue to come in and say, "You look happy." She kind of snorts at the idea of being happy, but can't hide another smile from him, and I would really like to know why they're all smiley and happy with each other after last week. Jack tells her to hold out her hand, and when she hesitates, he promises she'll like it. Jack, dude, I've got a criminal record that says otherwise. She does as told, and he puts something in her hand, and she guesses that they're gross little greyish-yellow things. Close, but you're way off! They're slimy little bluish-black things. Guava seeds! Kate's delighted.[love this description!] "What's a garden without guava?" says Jack, and they laugh, and it's nice that they've resolved their animosity, only it would have been nice if they'd done it on camera.

[Whit]

LMAO I just saw this thread :crackup: This is amazing stuff :D

[EmotionalOne]

lol i love reading on this thread!

[Foxy<3]

Just Because My Words Were Lies (Doesn't Mean My Love Weren't True)
Confidence Man - Kate knows that you attract more flies with honey than you do with vinegar. But Sawyer knows that what attracts the most flies of all is bullsh*t. > :crackup: not Jate but still i love it!


*lmao* :crackup::rotflol: Sawyer knows :p

Prettyeyes
As for why Kate kissed Jack, for the same reason she kissed Sawyer besides the need for Shannon's ashtma inhalers- he's hot. That's reason enough for me.


That's reason enough for me too. He's so hot, I don't know how Kate lasted that long without kissing him. ;)

[CutieKitten]

LMAO everytime I read this thread I love it more! TWoP rocks!! lol :p

[~Paula~]

:D some lines i just found saved in my hard drive... not so Jate-y but comments i liked..

CONFIDENCE MAN
As they stare into each other's eyes, Sawyer admits he never had the medicine. The book washed ashore, he says (see above re: falsity of said statement OR poor work of prop department). To his credit, Sawyer is not his usual gleeful self in imparting this information, and to his credit, Josh Holloway acts the hell out of this scene, and to her credit, Kate punches Sawyer in the mouth.

The Jungle of Mystery. Jack's applying pressure to Sawyer's wound while Sawyer says a number of rude things, including: telling Jack he knows Jack wants to let him die; reminding Kate they "made out"; and telling Jack that if the tables were turned, he'd watch him bleed to death. Why don't they gag him now, while they have the chance?

SOLITARY
It's nighttime, and Sayid is still dangling upside down. His praying is interrupted by the sound of footsteps nearby; like everyone else on this island full of morons, he responds to danger by saying, "Hello?" to it.

ACHDI
Jack and Locke follow the trail. "How does one man drag off two people, one of them pregnant?" asks Jack. "You're asking the wrong question," replies Locke. "Not how. Why?" Locke, there's no such thing as a stupid question. There is such a thing as a stupid answer, though, and that was one.

The Rape Caves. Kate reports to Locke that no one on the beach has seen Charlie or Claire. She also tells him that -- wait, no, seriously -- you'll never -- she's coming with him. "I thought you might," Locke replies. Heh.

WTCMB
"Isn't there an easier way to get there?" says Boone, and Locke says something about how the easiest way isn't always the best, like maybe Locke wants to get back in his wheelchair if he wants such a damn challenge all the time

Kate rushes up to tell Jack that "we have a problem." "We have a problem, or you have a problem?" he says, ably putting the Jack in "jackass." Although, to be fair, he's bang-on.

Jack wants to know what she needs him for. "I know where the key is," she says. The marshal kept it in his wallet, in his back pocket. "I buried him, Kate," Jack reminds her. "I know," she says. "Where?" Speaking of "where," where is Jin? Shouldn't he be at least hanging around the periphery to give the stink-eye to anyone who glances at Sun?

Now we have come to the requisite scene in which someone comes to Sawyer to ask for something (usually Jack), and they act all tough about it, and Sawyer acts like a dick about it, and then eventually hands over the item. Key variations here are that Sawyer says it figures that Kate got Jack to do her dirty work, and that Jack threatens to withhold the antibiotics he's giving Sawyer to fight off infection in his knife wound. Also, they get so close that they might as well kiss. Before handing over the briefcase, Sawyer says, "I know you think you're doing her a favor, but however she talked you into doing this? She lied, brother." You know, honesty isn't exactly a key characteristic of the majority of the crash survivors, so whenever one complains about another one lying, it's kind of like an indignant eliminated Survivor contestant whining about the backstabbing going on. Jack doesn't say anything as he walks off, but it's not like Jack doesn't know that Kate has, at best, a casual relationship with the truth.

Kate scoops it up, and plugs the other two bank robbers with some nifty cross-armed shooting, which, to me, indicates that she ain't just some smooth criminal. And, in one of the funniest lines I've heard in a while, one of the other bank robbers, while lying bleeding from a gunshot wound on the floor, yells at BRB(Bank-Robbin' Boyfriend), "I told you not to trust her!"

Jack looks somewhat chastened, but he doesn't say anything. He just leaves, and we watch Kate crying for what feels like about five hours. You know, maybe the way-more-complicated-than-it-needed-to-be bank heist makes a little more sense, in light of Kate's actions this episode. Because how does this sound to everyone: "Hey, Jack, Sawyer's got a briefcase that belonged to the marshal, and it contains a bunch of stuff like guns and money, but there's also a trinket that's of great sentimental importance to me, and I'd really like your help getting it back"? Seems to me like that would have worked just fine. [:D Completely agree!!!]

oh well, as usual, i'm bored. Sorry for the long post...

[~Paula~]

:D sorry but had to post the comment from the last recap...

From the 23rd Psalm:

"...And she and Sawyer joke around, and Jack gives them a quick glance as he walks up with some pills for Sawyer, and Kate looks mildly embarrassed but only so's I get the impression she still wants the Option of Jack, and I can't believe that this three seconds of dialogue-free filler warranted mention in ABC's episode summary."

i'm sorry but is that "so's" a typo or is just me -english-is-not-my-first-language-person that doesn't get the comment?

[Lin]

My God, how i love TWoP! "she still wants the option of Jack" So true!! :lotsalove

And yeah, you're not the only one who didn't get that "so's".. English isn't my first language either, anyone cares to explain it? :)

[Sophie]

Okay it's not Jate stuff and Im not sure I got this right but I think it's funny.:D

The Hunting Party:

"Jack says Sawyer can come but insists Kate stay behind. But will Kate listen? She's Kate, folks. She can't hear the See 'n' Say when the cow says, "Moo."

[~Paula~]

:D hehe they always mock Kate because she can't miss one single second of island action...

ETA: found my favorite one: ATCHDI:

"The Rape Caves. Kate reports to Locke that no one on the beach has seen Charlie or Claire. She also tells him that -- wait, no, seriously -- you'll never -- she's coming with him. "I thought you might," Locke replies. Heh."

[Steph]

From the hunting party :- "How long do you think it would take to train an army?" he asks her. The rest of the season, ya think?

sorry, i thought that was really funny lol

[laura_lynn]

^ I loved that one! It is so true.

[~Paula~]

New recap! from Erin this time, and i'm not liking it because she seems to be a Skater.. but i do like that she acknowledges that the Skate kiss isn't a real kiss (lmao) :

"I can't believe that Jack and Kate have already kissed but Sawyer and Kate are still at the gone a-courtin' stage. And, no, I don't count that time where Sawyer basically bribed a kiss out of Kate as a real kiss. Sure, she may have wanted to swap spit with Sawyer anyway, but she didn't get all emotional and fall into his arms and then choose to make out with him like she did with Jack."

a big HA! this tiny part just made the recap for me...

[Natih]

Agreeeed...wasn't Real At All!!!

[~Paula~]

:D sorry.. forgot to post this:

"Sarah gets out of bed and says she has stuff to do and Matthew Fox answers my prayers and takes off his shirt and gets into bed." :D

[Natih]

WOWWWWWWW...hahahah...wasn't only hers!!! :D :D :D :D :D

[~Paula~]

lmao I know Natih, hehe Best.Scene.Ever.

[littlejen]

New recap! from Erin this time, and i'm not liking it because she seems to be a Skater.. but i do like that she acknowledges that the Skate kiss isn't a real kiss (lmao) :

"I can't believe that Jack and Kate have already kissed but Sawyer and Kate are still at the gone a-courtin' stage. And, no, I don't count that time where Sawyer basically bribed a kiss out of Kate as a real kiss. Sure, she may have wanted to swap spit with Sawyer anyway, but she didn't get all emotional and fall into his arms and then choose to make out with him like she did with Jack."

a big HA! this tiny part just made the recap for me...



Yeah...shes definitely a skater. I just started reading her recap and in the first paragraph she says:

"and Jack and Kate made out for approximately three hours even though Kate loves Sawyer and Sawyer loves Kate":censored: :rant:

I miss Daniel!:bawl: :worry:

[~Paula~]

^^ I know Jen! do you know if Daniel's gone for good??? and being fair i miss Dan Kwa even more!!!! :bawl:

[MrsShephard]

Jack Shephard-Miracle Kisser

It's funny cause it's true. That's the second best description of Jack I've read this week. "Shrapnel puller-outer" (http://www.lost-media.com/modules.php?name=News&file=article&sid=1511&mode=&order=0&thold=0) is by far my favorite.

More from TWOP: "While Jack's fondly reminiscing about the day his wife left him, he, Locke, and Sawyer tromp through the jungle in search of Michael, who's gone off in search of Walt. Unfortunately, all they find is the Others and a whole mess of headaches. Jack considers kissing his way out of the situation, but wisely realizes that his miracle kisses only work on women with broken backs and daddy issues.

:D

One out of two... I should qualify.

[littlejen]

^^ I know Jen! do you know if Daniel's gone for good??? and being fair i miss Dan Kwa even more!!!! :bawl:


Yeah, i have noo idea. I hope it was just for this week cause i'd be so sad :bawl: if Daniel doesn't come back. Lets keep our fingers crossed for tonights episode- hopefully he'll put up his mini-recap tomorrow.

...cause lets face it- daniel's the best person to recap anything charlie does....cause he loves that character oh so much!

[WhiterRabbit]

^^ I know Jen! do you know if Daniel's gone for good??? :bawl:


Have no fear, Daniel is back this week. :)

[littlejen]

Have no fear, Daniel is back this week. :)


I know...i just read and i cant wait to see his full Charlie recap!!! :crackup: :rotflol:

[~Paula~]

:) Yes! He's back!!!

[laura_lynn]

Here's some blurbs from the new review...

Speaking of acting like they're in junior high, Sawyer looks over to where Ana-Lucia and Jack are walking out of the jungle, and says that's the third time he's seen them coming out of there. He has a hall of fame smirk on when he asks Kate what she supposes they're doing in there. Training ninjas and (I assume) drinking. Kate just tells him to keep doing his exercises, doing her best to pretend it doesn't bother her.

[Nokoolaidforme]

Lol i love that "junior high" part.

Here's the part about "hittin it"

Ana-Lucia says Jack told her what Hairy Man (thanks again, Erin!) said, but what Jack didn't tell her is why he turned around and came back. "He had a gun to Kate's head," says Jack. Ana's response, unfortunately, is "You hittin' that?" Because trying to keep someone from getting shot is only understandable if you are indeed "hittin' that." Jack appears confused, so Ana-Lucia elaborates: "Plane crash, you both survive, nice beach. She's hot, you're hot…it's what people do." She's an expert on plane-crash survivors, I suppose. And she is definitely asking out of more than just curiosity. Jack, thankfully, says he's not "hittin' that," but fails to add that it's none of Ana's business either way. Until he starts hittin' her.

Lol, Daniel sums things up quite nicely. :D

[EvieTai]

Guys, these rock!! :D

My favourite has to be the one about Locke getting back in his wheelchair if he wants such a challenge! Hilarious!

Guess what site I'm heading to next..? :p

[Natih]

Kate just tells him to keep doing his exercises, doing her best to pretend it doesn't bother her.

Jack, thankfully, says he's not "hittin' that," but fails to add that it's none of Ana's business either way. Until he starts hittin' her.

It's fantastic how u just need a little bit of intelligence to assume the obvious...amazed me how there are still people who can deny things like those!!!!

[xannaxberryx]

Lmao, I read this about this at Jaterville.

Still, there's always conjugal visits. He thanks her for the sling again, and she gazes lustily at him as she says, "You're welcome," and still he doesn't move in for the kiss. Moron.

Kate asks what he was thinking then, and he says he was thinking about how they could build a dam around the spring and move the infirmary off the beach. Kate looks crestfallen that Jack wasn't thinking about her ass. "It makes sense," Kate says. "But...?" Jack prompts. "No but," Kate replies. Heh. No butt.

:crackup:

[Steph]

are they skaters ? cos they dont seem to like jate scenes much :(

[laura_lynn]

are they skaters ? cos they dont seem to like jate scenes much

Most TWoP writers don't "ship". They enjoy poking fun at everyone.

[Steph]

Oh that's ok then lol :)

[Digits]

this is slightly off topic...but...

how to YOU pronounce TWoP??

do you say out the whole thing "television without pity" or do you spell out the letters "T-W-O-P"??

Personally, as I read it, I just say "T-Whop" to myself :)

I love those forums though--but it's bad when ur in a computer lab and you start chuckling and giggling out loud...people start to look at you....

[aredburn]

Personally, as I read it, I just say "T-Whop" to myself

Hahahaha I do the same ;)

[Nokoolaidforme]

lol its a site that also has Lost forums and reviews. Televisionwithoutpity.com

Yeah they are usually pretty neutral and mock what happens to the characters, which i like it. I was suprised how pro Sawyer/Kate was in the last review, the woman who wrote it sounded like a die-hard Skater. And she made very little funny comments.

Daniel is pretty brutal on everyone in the show, which i find funny. :D

[Scarlett]

Lol Kools thanks for posting that "hittin' that" summary, SO true. Expert on planecrash survivors, my ass! :rolleyes:

Speaking of ass...I loved the summary of the "you checkin' me out" scene. I felt so bad for Kate! Jack, Jack....make a move, boy!

[Mimibella]

those are really funny, post them sometimes, i really laughed on some jokes...

[BluishBlack]

The quote thing is refusing to work so I've had to copy n paste it:

QUOTE: Jack, thankfully, says he's not "hittin' that," but fails to add that it's none of Ana's business either way. Until he starts hittin' her.

Question: does the 'Until he starts hittin' her' bit def refer to Kate or is it a ref to AL cos it sounds like it could be? It betta not be grrr...no Jana sex-refs please I mite gag....argh I hate callin it Jana coz I have a friend called Jana....J/A it is...

here are some more from epi 8-

'Jack steps up, swings, and judging from his grimace and the way Kate and Jack's heads are swiveling to follow the path of the ball, he didn't hit it so well. In fact, it goes into the trees. "Wow," says Kate, unable to contain her glee. "You really put it in there." Oh, here we go with the double entendres'

'So it turns out Jack is one of those annoying golfers who wastes everyone's time by refusing to take a drop and insisting on searching for a long-gone ball that, even if they find it, will be likely unhittable. But apparently Jack has found his ball and he plans on hitting it, soon as Kate gets out of the way. But Kate suddenly can't move, and looks terrified, staring at something behind Jack. Jack turns around, and Eko is upon him, with Sawyer still over his shoulders. Jack raises the golf club in defence, but Eko asks where the doctor is'

'Locke's crossword puzzle is interrupted as Kate opens the door and Jack comes in, carrying Sawyer with him, saying he's burning up and has to get into the shower. Kate wants to know what she can do, but when Jack describes what she can do (he needs some medicine that I can't spell, and for her to make sure there's clean sheets on the bed. Clean sheets? Kind of presumptuous, Jack. Don't -- oh, they're for Sawyer), she just stands there staring at Sawyer until Jack snaps her out of her reverie. As the hatch's familiar beeping starts, Locke strolls in and asks what happened. Jack doesn't say anything for a moment, then just says, "John. The button." So I guess Jack's fully on board with that now. Locke takes his sweet time to go. Jack turns on the water, and he and Sawyer are finally getting their shower scene together'

I know someones already quoted the last bit but thought I'd do the whole thing...

'Kate's helping Jack tend to a shirtless Sawyer, who's been moved to one of the bunks. Jack gets Kate to hold him up while Jack tries to get some pills down his throat, but even unconscious, Sawyer has to be a pain in the ass and refuse. Kate takes the pills, over Jack's objections, and then clutches Sawyer to her chest and talks to him like you'd talk to a dying loved one. Jack looks embarrassed to be there, although he's probably still agonizing over his errant tee shot. Kate whispers to Sawyer that the only way he's going to get better is if he takes the pill. "So you just swallow it, okay?" she says, and she's practically making out with his forehead. It seems to work, as Sawyer takes the pill, and Kate gives him some water. "Nice job," says Jack, still a little chagrined. "We never learned the whole whisper-in-the-ear thing in med school." He half-smiles, as does Kate, who clearly would like Jack to leave, so she can continue to nuzzle Sawyer and stroke his hair. Jack gets up and leaves as nonchalantly as he can muster'

And from epi 11

The bit before the skaterness already quoted:
'Sawyer's head is filled with dirty thoughts (I love that about him!) as he says, "There's nicer ways to wake a man up, Freckles." Kate blushes and pretends she doesn't like it when he gruffs at her like that and tells him they need to go change his bandage. Sawyer reluctantly agrees to go and then puts on a little play I like to call "Ouch, My Arm Hurts So Much, Can You Help Me Up, Pretty Lady?" Seriously. He's in a beach chair and he wasn't shot in the LEG, but he's still reaching up to Kate to help him stand up. I mean, it's not like he's pregnant, for god's sake. She helps him up and he gets too close to her and rasps his thanks rather sexily and Kate just smiles at him and OH MY GOD JUST DO IT ALREADY'
Don't like it when these people get biased...but the image of Sawyer being pregnant was funny...Little things amuse me...

'"You got a gun for me?" asks Kate. "You're not comin'," says Jack. "Excuuuuse me?" says Kate. "You're not comin'," says Jack again. "Someone has to be here to take care of the button." Hee. Ten bucks says that Matthew Fox laughed his ass off every time he had to say that. ["Especially since his character is the one who was all 'I don't see why we have to press it anyway.'" -- Sars] Kate's like, uh, I hate to break this to you, but taking care of the button doesn't exactly require a degree from Harvard, you know. Anyone can do it. "You're not comin'!" Jack says again, some more. "You're stayin'! All right?" Man. Wonder if he'd be this pissed off at her if she'd grabbed his ass while they kissed instead of running away from him after it was over?'

'Boy Scout Troop #41815162342 makes its way up a lovely Hawaiian hill. Sawyer asks Jack what Kate did to him to make him so mad. Well, Sawyer, it's not so much what she did to him as much as what she didn't do to him, if you must know. Jack says she didn't do anything. Totally. "Riiiiiiight," snarks Sawyer. "And you yelled at her because she wanted to help find Walt. Makes a lot of sense." "Why dontcha go back there and see if I hurt her feelings?" snaps Jack. Oh, can we get Jack a new love interest already? The fake fighting between these two over Kate is getting tiresome. "I'm just sayin'," says Sawyer. "Yeah, I know," says Jack. "You love her." Sawyer stops cold. "What'd you say?" Hee. Poor Sawyer. You have no idea how big a mouth you have when you're passed out and delirious from blood loss and infection'

"Oh, can we get Jack a new love interest already? The fake fighting between these two over Kate is getting tiresome" ...v bad plan...Sawyer's the one who needs a new love interest....again with the skater bias...I'm not biased i can just recognise fate when I see it....

'The Scouts are coming down the mountain, and Kate just can't leave well enough alone because she's all over Jack, telling him she was just trying to help and that she made a mistake. Jack ignores her. Wise man. But there's nothing Kate hates more than being ignored, so she grabs him by the arm and demands that he talk to her. "I'm sorry," she says, meaning she's sorry for following them when she shouldn't have. "Yeah, I'm sorry too," he says, meaning he's sorry he kissed her when she's so obviously in love with Sawyer. He walks off, and we head back to Jack's past'
grrr over bold bit...

'Kate's still trying to ineffectually stay near Jack, but he's completely ignoring her, which is really enjoyable for me. She finally stops bird-dogging him and he walks on. Sawyer stops next to Kate and Locke passes by. "See ya, James," he quips. Hee. Sawyer glowers at him, but there's nothing he can really do about it at this point. Sawyer tells Kate not to beat herself up about it; if Jack had told him to stay behind, he'd have done the same thing she did. What, chase after them uninvited and get kidnapped by hairy rednecks? Somehow I doubt that. Kate stares after Jack as if her staring will somehow erase the fact that she made out with him in the jungle and then ran away like a little girl'

again grrr for boldness...

sorry that was so long...kept finding jateness...

oh n please don't forget about the orig qu people after all that waffle...

[~Paula~]

Yeah they are usually pretty neutral and mock what happens to the characters, which i like it. I was suprised how pro Sawyer/Kate was in the last review, the woman who wrote it sounded like a die-hard Skater. And she made very little funny comments.

Daniel is pretty brutal on everyone in the show, which i find funny.

Yeah that Erin girl was pretty much a Skater, and i looove Daniel's mocks! i enjoyed even more Dan Kwa though... yeah it's been ages and i'm still moping over Dan's depature :D. TWoP is definetly the best site, they're so mean to everyone! i enjoy it too much i think.

:D they called F+W "Locke's hittin' that" lmao.

ETA: duh! forgot to add: "C'mon. Plane crash. He and Charlie both survive. Nice beach. Claire's hot. Charlie's high. It's what father figures do, right?"

[MrsShephard]

See how great those lines are? They're so great, uber-snotty smartass TWOP paraphrases them. That's how great those lines are.

Regardless of your opinion of Ana, you have to admit that:

a) that was in character
b) made perfect sense (anyone who calls Jack and Kate hot has a point)
c) she got Jack to say "hittin' that" (I gotta give her some love for his reaction)

ETA: "Well, go on. I'm sure you've got a load you need to drop in, don't you, Jethro?" like how disgusting is Sawyer anyway?"

Heh. We love him anyway. See how perfect he is for Ana?

[~Paula~]

:D MrsShepard i loved that Sawyer line! and because i don't like him, like at all, i can enjoy it even more! lmao.

:) I don't know how i feel about that AnaL line... i am thankful for it, because it doesn't matter what the ship is (Jana or Skate) is Jate which dominates their interactions. In the other hand there's still something which i can't put my finger on that bugs me. *shrugs* But is soo funny TWoP used it for the next ep! lol, i think they did it because the "hittin' that" is almost ridiculous...

[EvieTai]

Those are hilarious!! :D

I think it's better when they're not really shipping anyone though because, like someone said, then they're pretty brutal to everyone and that's really funny, lol. :p

I say it like T-Whop too..!

[nightskiesfading]

I love TWoP so much, I read their recaps for all the shows I watch, I love the girl who recaps Alias the best, so bitter!

I apologize if any of these were mentioned and I missed them, but it never hurts to read them twice!

Love this from the pilot:

In a clearing, they find pilot's wings in a puddle. Looking up, they try to make sense of an odd shape in the treetops -- Dominic Monaghan does a funny head-tilt here -- and then Jack, trudging out of the woods, tells them it's the pilot. Kate runs to Jack and gives him the kind of non-hug that characters who really love each other give each other in movies set before 1900, which is to say she gets really close to him and breathy and looks into his eyes but doesn't actually touch him.

From the finale:

As Jack and Kate take cover, she goes off on him for taking the dynamite in his pack, which you know she's been waiting to do for hours. Come to think of it, I'd like to know just how it was that Jack pulled off that little bit of sleight of hand anyway. "I made a judgment call," he says, and she points out that they drew straws, and he points out, completely correctly, that this was too important to be decided by drawing straws. He might also want to point out that since she went running willy-nilly all over the place when she thought she had dynamite in her pack, he made exactly the right call. She tries to tell him that he had no right, and he snaps that everybody wants him to be the leader until he makes a decision that they don't like. Which is true, but, um, duh, Jack, because that kind of is how a democratic society WORKS, after all. If you don't like the decisions your leader makes, you try to make him NOT YOUR LEADER anymore. "You wanna keep second-guessing me, Kate? That's your call." Oh, get over yourself. He tells her that there's something she needs to know: "We survive this, we survive tonight? We're going to have a Locke problem." They both look at Locke, standing at the end of the fuse. "And I have to know that you got my back." Without hesitation, she says, "I got your back." So they like each other now, in case you're keeping score at home.

From the Moth, I love this one so much:

Right, so all of the would-be rescuers are freaking out over the second collapse, worried about Jack and Charlie running out of air (even though I don't think they have any way of knowing if the two of them are actually still alive). Mercutio yells at everyone to shut up because he's trying to think. And great, just what we need is Kate running up so she can start in with her grief and concern that you might expect from Jack's wife of 25 years and not from a crash co-survivor. "Where's Jack?" she yells a couple of times, and maybe someone can explain to her what a cave-in is, because I'm guessing if she wants to know where Jack is, the big ol' pile of rubble is a pretty good damn clue. Nobody wants to tell the distraught Mrs. Jack anything, until Hurley finally jerks his head towards the rubble and says, "He's in there." Kate wants to know if Jack's alive, and Mercutio tells her everything that's happened. Then Kate asks a very good question: "Why isn't anyone digging?" Maybe Locke came by and explained to everybody that they could help Jack and Charlie by widening a hole for them, but they'll be stronger if they make it out themselves. And Kate heads back to what appears to be the hole where the tunnel was that just collapsed. I don't have "eight years in construction" or anything, but that seems to fall on the "bad idea" side of the ledger, doesn't it? Only Mercutio doesn't say anything this time. I guess he knows that when you care about someone as much as Kate does, God himself will erect Magical Buttresses of Love for you.

[ukjaterlover!]

Those are soooo great guys, I love reading the Jate ones they make me laugh and smile all the time, its good to no tht other people see what we see.lol. I agree tho tht it is better with out the bias opinions of those who are writing them, they are much funnier then!

[Mimibella]

that's soooo funny, they are totally right (in some ways of course)... they say what is obvious, we just want to be on the show and tell kate and jack their real feelings about each other

[Scarlett]

'Boy Scout Troop #41815162342 makes its way up a lovely Hawaiian hill. Sawyer asks Jack what Kate did to him to make him so mad. Well, Sawyer, it's not so much what she did to him as much as what she didn't do to him, if you must know.

:rotflol:

Omg, that's great. Love it! thanks, guys!

[EvieTai]

I think you hit the nail on the head when you said that the recaps state the obvious. Which, for a programme like Lost, is something totally different, lol. They're not trying to figure things out, they're just laying it to us straight and you just gotta love it!

[BluishBlack]

QUOTE: Jack, thankfully, says he's not "hittin' that," but fails to add that it's none of Ana's business either way. Until he starts hittin' her. (sorry still can't get that quote to work n can't be bothered!)

Hey! people no one's answered my question as to whether that last bit refers to Kate or AL b/c it really could be either as far as i can tell...but it sounds sickeningly like its refering to AL...

Can't be bothered to find the quote, but whoever questioned my opinion on AL and the whole 'hittin' that' scene...I love that scene...I love the lines (hence it being in my banner) I just HATE her cos she really annoys me...always has...always willl n not b/c of being poss love interest for Jack (hell I'n not all anti Sawyer...but yes I'm obv anti-skate)...just wanted to clarify soz bout the irrelevance...

xXxMegsxXx

[Karen]

Jack, thankfully, says he's not "hittin' that," but fails to add that it's none of Ana's business either way. Until he starts hittin' her.

Hey! people no one's answered my question as to whether that last bit refers to Kate or AL b/c it really could be either as far as i can tell...but it sounds sickeningly like its refering to AL...
I personally think whoever wrote that was referring to Ana-Lucia.

Even if Jack was 'hittin' Kate it still wouldn't be Ana's business.

[nightskiesfading]

I like to think it's "hittin' her" referring to Ana, as in phsyically punching her :p

[EvieTai]

QUOTE: Jack, thankfully, says he's not "hittin' that," but fails to add that it's none of Ana's business either way. Until he starts hittin' her. (sorry still can't get that quote to work n can't be bothered!)

Hey! people no one's answered my question as to whether that last bit refers to Kate or AL b/c it really could be either as far as i can tell...but it sounds sickeningly like its refering to AL...

Can't be bothered to find the quote, but whoever questioned my opinion on AL and the whole 'hittin' that' scene...I love that scene...I love the lines (hence it being in my banner) I just HATE her cos she really annoys me...always has...always willl n not b/c of being poss love interest for Jack (hell I'n not all anti Sawyer...but yes I'm obv anti-skate)...just wanted to clarify soz bout the irrelevance...

xXxMegsxXx

I'd say they're talking about Ana Lucia, but more in a joke kind of way than anything serious. Cause yeah, it wouldn't be Ana Lucia's business even if he was to start 'hittin' Kate, lol.

[~Paula~]

:D OMG i can read those recaps 4815162342 times and still laugh so hard! :rotflol: I love The Moth recap!

and to answer your question i agree with the posters above, he was refering to AnaL, if he would be hittin' Kate it still wouldn't be AnaL's business

[BluishBlack]

Thanks people that's what i thought...it was just that someone (sorry can't rem who) mentioned that quote and 1 other as a good jate comment i think n so i got v confuzzled as i had thought it meant AL n no one corrected this other person or i may have read their post wrongly...so thanks agen!:) although its funny i now officaially don't like that comment...jana is just no right...go SANA!!!
we need more quotes from this site...but i takes forever to find them. might bother to find some more at some point...
xXxMegsxXx

[October Sky]

Thanks for the quotes! I love the Jate ones..*swoon* The one who does the recaps for Alias..is that the one with the pics and everything? I love those:p

[EvieTai]

I'll post some tonight if I find them. I'm definitely going on the site to look at some recaps anyway because I've only read like three. :)

[EvieTai]

I found a little something in the recap for Exodus part 1. It's not so much Jate.. well it involves Kate and Jack but..meh.. make your own mind up!

So back on Craphole Island, Kate strolls up to Jack and asks if he's heading out, and he says he is, and Kate wants to come along, "for old times' sake," whatever that's supposed to mean, and Jack is totally acting like he hates her guts for some reason, like can we please get a ruling on whether they're hot for each other or whether they can't stand each other..

At least they also think Jack is only 'acting' like he hates her..!

[Strawberry_Creme]

I found a little something in the recap for Exodus part 1. It's not so much Jate.. well it involves Kate and Jack but..meh.. make your own mind up!

So back on Craphole Island, Kate strolls up to Jack and asks if he's heading out, and he says he is, and Kate wants to come along, "for old times' sake," whatever that's supposed to mean, and Jack is totally acting like he hates her guts for some reason, like can we please get a ruling on whether they're hot for each other or whether they can't stand each other..

At least they also think Jack is only 'acting' like he hates her..!

Another crack on the triangle. :D

[WhiterRabbit]

Daniel's recap of The Long Con is up. He does a 'Dick Cheney' on Sawyer, only with both barrels. :) Unfortunately, he doesn't pick up on the Jate from this episode.

[laura_lynn]

Sorry guys, tried to post an update on the TWoP thread and it would not let me. Is something wrong with it? Anyways, here's a great quote from this week...

So Claire is laying out all of Aaron's symptoms, and Jack displays his consummate bedside manner by saying something like, "Babies get sick," all dismissive. Claire's convinced that something's wrong, because he "always sleeps through the night," like what kind of miracle baby is this, maybe he shits chocolate or something. Jack suggests it's roseola, which is common. Claire suggests Aaron's infected, and Jack wants to know where she got such a silly idea. Kate strolls up to tell him it was Rousseau. "Claire, there is no infection," he says, pointing out that they've been on the island two months and no one's gotten sick. They're going to let the fever run its course. Jack's going back to the hatch, and he'll be back to check on Aaron in a couple of hours. Meanwhile, Kate's smiling, thinking, "I forgot how much better 'doctor who's concerned for the well-being of others' is than 'racist con man always looking to screw everybody." And after Jack leaves, she squats down by Claire to say that she's sure that if there were something wrong with Aaron, Jack would know.

[ctrlz]

I don't know which shows off your good taste more--
The Office avatar or the fact that you read TWoP!

[laura_lynn]

Thanks ctrlz! Your good taste is shown by recognizing The Office and TWoP references.

[ukjaterlover!]

Thanx for posting tht was really funny!:giggle:

[~Paula~]

:D Heee. I was gonna come and post that, thanks Laura Lynn!!!

LMAO. I love this weeks poll...

Most appropriate Hemingway and/or Dostoyevsky books for Jack and Locke:

Jack: Hemingway's The Doctor Who Crashed on A Mysterious Island Where The Survivors Find This Crazy Hatch. And Then At Some Point He Will Bang A Nurse - 55% --> and i think we all know what "nurse" they're talking about! ;)

Jack: Dostoyevksy's The Idiot - 19%

Locke: Hemingway's The Old Man and the Sea - 10%

Locke: Dostoyevsky's Notes From Underground - 6%

Locke: Dostoyevsky's The Insulted and Humiliated - 6%

Jack: Hemingway's Men Without Women - 5%

377 votes

[Nokoolaidforme]

Meanwhile, Kate's smiling, thinking, "I forgot how much better 'doctor who's concerned for the well-being of others' is than 'racist con man always looking to screw everybody."

haha, that made me laugh.

Love Sawyer, but its true. I think thats one of the reasons i love the character. To have a character be such a dick and a bad ass is entertaining. Him being the goodie goodie who spits old tiring lines, really bored me. The suprising hero side entertained me for the beginning few episodes, but it got old fast. So clearly they need to keep Sawyer bad.

I think Sawyer's character is better for "love to hate" character than Ana. Ana i think needs to become more vulnerable. Her character cant really withstand this animosity.

Where as Sawyer can.

[blamo33]

"I forgot how much better 'doctor who's concerned for the well-being of others' is than 'racist con man always looking to screw everybody."

haha, love it.

[Nokoolaidforme]

Okay, i officially love this guy. His sarcasm kills me. :D

"I need a gun. And you don't get to ask why," she says, and he calls her "Thelma" and says that since he has all the guns, yes he does get to ask why, and she says, "No, you don't," and he says, "Yes, I do," like COULD WE PLEASE MOVE THIS ALONG ................. "No boys allowed, huh?" says Sawyer. Not really, just no assh*les, Sawyer. So he asks if she wants the nine-millimetre or the rifle. If you two are ever going to work things out, Sawyer, I hope for your sake she chooses the nine-millimetre.

Exactly why i aint a fan of their scenes together, like watching to immature school kids. If i wanted that, I'd watch the OC.

[Scarlett]

"I forgot how much better 'doctor who's concerned for the well-being of others' is than 'racist con man always looking to screw everybody."

That line owns me, officially.

Pretty much sums it up.

[Natih]

Meanwhile, Kate's smiling, thinking, "I forgot how much better 'doctor who's concerned for the well-being of others' is than 'racist con man always looking to screw everybody."

owwwwwwwwwww:w00t: ...how cute....hahahahah

"No boys allowed, huh?" says Sawyer. Not really, just no assh*les, Sawyer.

LMAO...:crackup: :crackup: :crackup: :crackup: :crackup: :crackup:

[ukjaterlover!]

Lol. Tht second one is sooooo funny!:giggle: Whoever wrote this is totaly a Jater!

[MrsShephard]

Nah, Daniel's just equally brutal on everyone, which I love. If you think he has it in for Sawyer, you should ask him sometime how he really feels about Charlie. Here's a sample:

They go for a walk down the beach; Claire describes the abduction, and how she doesn't remember any of it. Kate fills in some parts that Claire doesn't remember/didn't know about. Like remember when they hanged Charlie? Good times. That's my desktop wallpaper.


I can't stand to to read the forums, but the recaps are always fun.

[Nokoolaidforme]

^ hahaha oh man... why i love the guy. Hes just so brutal on everyone.

Plus when he talks about the show, and the relationships in the show, it isnt girl fandom, its rational thought. .....i miss that.... lol

[ukjaterlover!]

Lol. thts so funny. He doesn't really like anyone does he?lol.

[BluishBlack]

^erm no i don't think he does...omg I LOVE TWoP's reviews (when they aint biased...) :D

[MrsShephard]

Plus when he talks about the show, and the relationships in the show, it isnt girl fandom, its rational thought. .....i miss that....

Me too. ;) (hides from fellow fangirls)

[Nokoolaidforme]

^ Lol i love your banner, still.

Although i dunno how effective Sawyer would be at president. You never know, a frog might make a noise or someone might not pay attention to him, and he will bomb a random country.

:hat:

[ukjaterlover!]

Lol.^Yeah tht sounds like Sawyer!:giggle:

[Heinzy]

LOLS!!! i LOVE twop reviews when they're jatey-ofcourse...:giggle:

[~Paula~]

Okay, i officially love this guy. His sarcasm kills me. :D

"I need a gun. And you don't get to ask why," she says, and he calls her "Thelma" and says that since he has all the guns, yes he does get to ask why, and she says, "No, you don't," and he says, "Yes, I do," like COULD WE PLEASE MOVE THIS ALONG ................. "No boys allowed, huh?" says Sawyer. Not really, just no assh*les, Sawyer. So he asks if she wants the nine-millimetre or the rifle. If you two are ever going to work things out, Sawyer, I hope for your sake she chooses the nine-millimetre.
Exactly why i aint a fan of their scenes together, like watching to immature school kids. If i wanted that, I'd watch the OC.
:D Daniel's great, that Sawyer quote was the best of the recap!!! and i agree with the OC comment, we're above stupid bickering and comments here...

[ukjaterlover!]

^Lol. Tht is so true about the OC.lol.

[guavaseeds]

I've only just discovered the TWoP recaps, and omg they crack me up!! I totally agree with the OC comment, even if I am addicted to that (nowhere near Lost though of course!!). When do the recaps come up, like, the day after a new episode?

[~Paula~]

When do the recaps come up, like, the day after a new episode?

No, no really, usually Lost recaps always come up late Monday (next week from the aired episode), they're for sure up by Tuesday.

[Mrs. Darcy]

TWOP now has a separate thread for Jate.

[Foxy<3]

"No boys allowed, huh?" says Sawyer. Not really, just no assh*les, Sawyer. So he asks if she wants the nine-millimetre or the rifle. If you two are ever going to work things out, Sawyer, I hope for your sake she chooses the nine-millimetre.

Lmao, saying it like it is. :giggle:

[Steph]

TWOP now has a separate thread for Jate.

yay ! i love TWOP ! even if sometimes it makes sklate comments - they're hilarious !

[~Paula~]

Well, there wasn't any Jate Jate comments for the recap of TWT, the description for their scene is pretty simple:

Kate all suspiciously says Jack has been in the hatch a lot, and asks if everything's okay. Jack smiles and says that everything's fine. He's clearly lying.

:D I guess i can't help myself because i have to post this... My dislike for Ana Lucia is too great, and this wasn't that hateful but it was pretty funny:

But Ana-Lucia's not in the armoury talking to Gale; it's this soft-spoken woman who isn't sneering at everything. Oh, hold up…sorry.

ETA: I forgot this..
And sure enough, Ana begins: "People don't like me." I'm sure that's not true; I think some of the people she's left alive are starting to come around. "I tried to get them to most of my life. I guess I just gave up a while back. I mean, I am what I am." Popeye?
:crackup:

[MrsShephard]

Heh. I read the recap and immediately thought of you and Jen. There's some good stuff in there for you guys.

And of course, I have to mention this:

Jack's in the shower, and when he gets out he's startled that Locke is also in the bathroom shaving. Well, might as well just measure them and get it over with, eh guys?

:giggle: Daniel is a wise, wise man.

[BluishBlack]

:crackup: ommg I LOVE TWoP!

[IslandofMystery]

Me too!!! lol they're so funny!

[ukjaterlover!]

It is so funny, but thts not fair bout Ana! Bless her!

[Scarlett]

Jack's in the shower, and when he gets out he's startled that Locke is also in the bathroom shaving. Well, might as well just measure them and get it over with, eh guys?
:crackup: :crackup: :crackup:

OMG, that's hilarious. And we all know who would win. :plotting:

Paula, I love the quote about AL and "the people she's left alive."rofl That's too great. Forget Kools...what do you say to Jaula? I means "cage" in Spanish. As in, what we'd like to put AL in! :shifty:

[~Paula~]

Heh. I read the recap and immediately thought of you and Jen. There's some good stuff in there for you guys
:D lmao. And awww, it tingles me for some weird reason that you thought about me, hehe.

I wanted to put those quotes on Jen's usernote page, like you, I thought about her inmediately. I love how mean Daniel is... although to his credit, after the Popeye comment he did say MR was a good actress. *shrugs*

The Jocke comments were funny too... Locke certainly has the hots for our doctor, it [I]had to be Jack's steam that opens Locke's pores...

ETA: Jen, i'm all for Jaula!!! :love: yes, our beautiful hate for AnaL brings us together! awesome. :plotting:

[georgiapeach81]

:crackup: I just read all of this(well not all) and they're too funny!

[WhiterRabbit]

Don't forget my favorite part... :D

Anyway, the book is dropped to reveal Sawyer in his big ol' Harry Caray glasses, and this is where the laugh track would kick in, if there were one, and if this were actually funny. Sun asks him how the book is, and he says "predictable," and all I can say is "ahem" to that. He also says there's "not enough sex," and Sun's eyebrows crinkle imperceptibly, all, "God, what a douchebag." :nod:

[Scarlett]

Anyway, the book is dropped to reveal Sawyer in his big ol' Harry Caray glasses, and this is where the laugh track would kick in, if there were one, and if this were actually funny.
:rotflol:

That's so true about the laughtrack. Exactly. bwhahaa

[MrsShephard]

:D lmao. And awww, it tingles me for some weird reason that you thought about me, hehe.

Heh. I always think of you and Jen when I see Ana bashing that's actually funny. I've always liked her, but I can't help it: you guys crack me up with your passionate dislike for her. :D

The Jocke comments were funny too... Locke certainly has the hots for our doctor, it [I]had to be Jack's steam that opens Locke's pores...

Well, on the one hand... can't really blame him, you know... But. Ewww. Mr.Clean is *such* a pervert! Kate, Boone, Claire and now Jack. Who's next on his hit list? Stay away from my man, baldy! It was funny to see Locke's fangirl face, though. You just know he was squeeeeing on the inside. :giggle:

ETA: Heh. The laugh track comment pwns.

[Nokoolaidforme]

He also says there's "not enough sex," and Sun's eyebrows crinkle imperceptibly, all, "God, what a douchebag."

omfg...... Dan is my hero. Im so glad that there is a reviewer out there who is actually making fun the characters. Instead of proclaiming there undyling love for them.

:shifty:

[~Paula~]

:crackup: Ewww. Only now i realize (sp?) Locke is indeed a big old pervert! Poor Boone, and poor Claire, but going for Jack? :no:

He was soooo into Jack's ELCB. I mean, we all know Jack's too irresistible, but is quite disturbing the fact that in the show [as in not in fanfics] that behaviour comes across... the guy looked down! Gross. Stay away from the bald wrinkly pervert Jack!

[Scarlett]

Yeah, Locke disgusts me. It's sad because I used to have a lot of respect for the man. But I'm coming close to hating him. And his creepy behavior toward Claire and now Jack is just cementing that burgeoning feeling. :shifty:

But honestly, I'm so elated right now about Jack holding a baby, with his tattoos, concerned doctor face, and biceps as they safely protect baby Aaron from harm. ANd he's so eager to help Claire out. *squee*

He's going to be the BEST father ever to the Jate baby.

[MrsShephard]

^cue Kools rolling his eyes... :giggle:

[lolohannah]

^ cue all Jaters and Jack-lovers squeeing their hearts out lol

[~Paula~]

:thud: I completely share the kink for arms Jen! specially a tatooed big and muscular golden arm that comes attached to Matthew Fox's big chest and broad muscular back...

And Jack + Baby = incontrollable drooling and thudding.

Oh well.. back on topic. TWoP is the best!

[Scarlett]

:thud: I completely share the kink for arms Jen! specially a tatooed big and muscular golden arm that comes attached to Matthew Fox's big chest and broad muscular back...

And Jack + Baby = incontrollable drooling and thudding.

Oh well.. back on topic. TWoP is the best!

ROFL I love you, Paula. Seriously.

[~Paula~]

:D I love you too Jen!!! and lmao at your sig. [Jack + sleeveless shirt + baby = squee...thud] Yes. Yes. Yes.

[ukjaterlover!]

Yeah I no what you mean, he is so funny! I love reading these reviews!

[heatdamaged]

Jack doesn't say anything, what with his genitalia being sucked back into his pubic cavity and all.TWoP

[georgiapeach81]

Jack doesn't say anything, what with his genitalia being sucked back into his pubic cavity and all.TWoP

:rotflol: :crackup: :rotflol: :crackup: :rotflol: :crackup:

[Steph]

ok so just read the whole truth one - why why why does it say jack checked Ana out ! and then say kate was suspicious ? Kate almost fell over herself trying to talk to him !!!

[EvieTai]

Sun's angrily pushing her way through the bushes to the beach, and needs to grab onto a tree because she's breathing with some difficulty. Bernard and Rose go strolling by, arguing like an old married couple. They spot Sun in distress, and put aside their Lockhorns routine to hustle over and see what's wrong. Sun says she's lightheaded, and Bernard helpfully says she looks as pale as a sheet. Rose tells him to give Sun some water, using her best "you idiot" tone of voice. "Yes, ma'am!" snaps Bernard, and I can't believe I'm saying this, but shut up, Bernard. Turns out Bernard forgot Rose's birthday, but in his defence he doesn't even know what day of the week it is. Rose suggests they get Jack, which Sun vehemently nixes, which doesn't look suspicious or anything. She says she probably just spent too much time in the sun. That's also true of Jin since he got back, you know. Ahem. "Well, you spent a lot of time around the baby, maybe you caught something," says Rose, although Sun's head looks normal-sized to me. She thanks them both and continues on her way.

Just HAD to post that because it's so hilarious! :D

[lolohannah]

lmao! Now thats a good one!

[ukjaterlover!]

Very funny thanx for posting Evie!

[Celon]

I love TWoP so much! The way he can just make each and every one of them funny is amazing! The recap for Maternity leave had me laughing so hard, it was by far the best one yet!

Not really Jater scenes here, but still so funny!

Kate comes running up, wanting to know what Libby did. Yeah, Libby did something, because it's so unlike Claire to suddenly start screaming.

She asks where all this stuff came from, and Ethan says he'd love to explain everything to her, but he's "afraid it would be a little overwhelming right now." Translation: the writers still aren't quite sure where this is all going. Claire touches a monkey decoration on the wall. I'm not sure a Johnny Chimpo motif is appropriate for a baby's nursery, but what do I know?

So Craphole's Angels are strolling through the jungle.

Neither Claire nor Rousseau reacts to that. Nice that they assume that Kate found the power instead of considering the possibility the Others are back.

She asks Rousseau to help, but Rousseau's all zonked out in one of her zones again, or so she would have us believe. If I were Rousseau, I could see myself milking the whole "she's crazy" thing as often as possible, like if someone wanted me to do some heavy lifting or listen to them tell me about the weird dream they had last night.

Then she says, "I'm sorry that you didn't find what you were looking for. I hope your baby's not infected. But if it is, I hope you know what must be done." She turns and heads off through the jungle without a further word, Claire and Kate watching her go. See, this is why you weren't invited to Aaron's baby shower, Rousseau.

Okay, I may as well have just quoted the whole thing..

[DoctorsPatient]

omg they are hilarious ! ! ! ! i cant wait to read more of them! ! ! :)

[ukjaterlover!]

Lol. Those are so funny!

[Lin]

Woot, new ones!

From the Lockdown-episode:

Jack strolls up and does the Matt-Damon-in-Rounders routine where he knows exactly what everybody has, telling Hurley that Sawyer has him beat. "You got a baby straight; he's got the flush." Hurley's silence indicates that Jack's right, so Kate asks him to do her, by which I mean tell her what she's holding.
"How about you put your mangos where your mouth is?" says Sawyer, like Lost's actual writers are now writing slash themselves.
Nighttime. Jack's walking through the jungle. Kate comes racing up after him, since it now appears she's carrying a torch for Jack. Get it? "Carrying"? "Torch"? "Jack"? Oh, forget it. That's gold. :D
This really cracked me up:
And it's not like Henry can claim that he lost his ID while digging the grave; unless he's got the same skin-bleaching condition as a certain single-gloved pop star/acquitted child molester, he ain't Henry Gale.
God, I love TWOP! :w00t:

[BluishBlack]

:crackup: TWoP rocks! is that it for the walk you back scene though can't be bothered to check but omg neeed to go now :bawl:

[MrsShephard]

Woot, new ones!

Damn, you beat me to it. I've been stalking TWOP all day, waiting for the Lockdown recap. I'm glad someone posted them.

[Lin]

:crackup: TWoP rocks! is that it for the walk you back scene though can't be bothered to check but omg neeed to go now :bawl:

It was about the walk back scene, but there was more:

Nighttime. Jack's walking through the jungle. Kate comes racing up after him, since it now appears she's carrying a torch for Jack. Get it? "Carrying"? "Torch"? "Jack"? Oh, forget it. That's gold. She asks if he's heading to the hatch. He says yes, and she asks to tag along. "It's been a while since I had a shower, and I was just hoping that…" but he interrupts her to tell him that the plumbing's busted. He's clearly lying. Although you'd think he'd have a lot of practice making up excuses about why people can't come down to the hatch, since you figure everyone would be asking, what with the bathroom and laundry facilities and all. But we never see anyone other than a chosen few down there, do we? He promises to tell her when things are fixed. They both turn to go their separate ways, but then she turns back to smilingly tell him that she's glad he beat Sawyer. So Veronica's hot for Archie, not Reggie, this week, eh? I guess she was pissed at Sawyer for manipulating her like everybody else. Not that she can be bothered to act mad around Sawyer, though, I guess. She doesn't say why or anything, and Jack doesn't ask. But when Freckles turns on the charm, it's enough for Jack to say, "The hatch can wait," and offer to walk her back to the beach, like I still can't believe anyone's allowed to go anywhere on their own ANYWAY. And I hope Locke's not expecting you to show up to cover the night shift, Jack.

Then they notice a strobe light pulsating in the jungle a little ways away, and they decide to investigate, perhaps in hopes that after such successful ventures as the golf tournament and the feast, Hurley's organized a rave.

Instead, Kate find a parachute attached to a large boxy pile. Jack tells her to wait, but Kate grabs a box from the pile, of "Dharma Initiative Macaroni & Cheese Supper." Now less powdery! Mmmm, tantalizing. Either Hurley's secret stash is bigger than anyone of us has suspected, or someone or something has dropped off some supplies. "It's food," says Kate. Or a reasonable facsimile thereof, anyway.

I didn't get the Veronica/Archie/Reggie-comment... who are they? :eh:

[shipperfey]

Not Jate-related but funny:

"Me, I'd like to know if these coincidences are ever going to turn into anything or just exist as a means to keep people inside with flow charts and notebooks filled with analysis."

Oh I love theories and Lost mythology...

*hides the Latin-to-English translations from The Map*

"Kate asks if she should just go get a ruler. Is she chastising them? Or does she just need some help making up her mind? " hahahahaha

[~Paula~]

:D Heh. TWoP is the best.

Loved this parts also:
Right now it's a lot more likely that Henry's an Other than that he's a brother.
^ :crackup: That had me laughing i don't quite get why... :eh:
Careful, Hurley. It wasn't all that long ago that Arse was complaining (to you, come to think of it) about this very thing. And then he got blown up. I'm just saying.
so Locke yells at him to shut up, which I can't believe more characters on this show don't say to each other all the time.
"How about you put your mangos where your mouth is?" says Sawyer, like Lost's actual writers are now writing slash themselves. Thanks for that. Jack pretends he needs to be convinced to play a hand or two.
^ Heeee! Me loves the slash.
The smaller one, black hair with goatee and ponytail, steps forward and amiably introduces himself as Jimmy Payne. "Pain," get it? More subtle character-naming from a television show that introduced us to a leader named Shephard.

Hehe. Daniel's great.

[MrsShephard]

like Lost's actual writers are now writing slash themselves. Thanks for that.

^ Heeee! Me loves the slash.


Hehe. Daniel's great.

You know he doesn't like slash, though... right? :D Not so much doesn't like as he's fed up with it. :p
He had the same reaction to Shannon's "Is he your new boyfriend?" about Boone and Locke. I love his b*tchiness.

[chick]

I didn't get the Veronica/Archie/Reggie-comment... who are they?

They are from the Archie Comic Books about a bunch of high school teens. The books have been around for the last sixty years or so. Archie is the main character and the good guy. Reggie is the bad boy and Veronica goes back and forth between the two.

[ukjaterlover!]

Very funny, thanx for sharing guys!:giggle:

[EvieTai]

They are from the Archie Comic Books about a bunch of high school teens. The books have been around for the last sixty years or so. Archie is the main character and the good guy. Reggie is the bad boy and Veronica goes back and forth between the two.

Thanks for explaining that because I had no idea either, lol. :blank:

The review was very funny this week, and it had a little bit of Jate so that just made it better, lol. :D

"Kate asks if she should just go get a ruler. Is she chastising them? Or does she just need some help making up her mind?"

^That was great, lol!

[Sophie]

That was hilarious!! Thank you for posting Lin.

Favorite part:

Then they notice a strobe light pulsating in the jungle a little ways away, and they decide to investigate, perhaps in hopes that after such successful ventures as the golf tournament and the feast, Hurley's organized a rave.

:rotflol:

[Lin]

They are from the Archie Comic Books about a bunch of high school teens. The books have been around for the last sixty years or so. Archie is the main character and the good guy. Reggie is the bad boy and Veronica goes back and forth between the two.

Thanks! :hug2: So, who did Veronica choose at the end? Archie or Reggie? :D

[shipperfey]

I spent like 6 hours reading TWoP reviews yesterday and today I started on season 1 and it's cracking me up so much... I love this Jate comment from The Moth:

Kate's heading back to the beach, because she wants to find out if Sayid's plan worked, because then they'd be -- "one step closer to getting off this island," he finishes for her, and then they kind of avoid looking at each other. You know, you two could still have sex even if you got off the island, you idiots. Well, Kate might be in jail. Still, there's always conjugal visits. He thanks her for the sling again, and she gazes lustily at him as she says, "You're welcome," and still he doesn't move in for the kiss. Moron.

[laura_lynn]

My favorite non related Jate line from this week's recap was...

The smaller one, black hair with goatee and ponytail, steps forward and amiably introduces himself as Jimmy Payne. "Pain," get it? More subtle character-naming from a television show that introduced us to a leader named Shephard.

I also want to know who Veronica chose in the end. Anyone know?

[~Paula~]

You know he doesn't like slash, though... right? :D Not so much doesn't like as he's fed up with it. :p
He had the same reaction to Shannon's "Is he your new boyfriend?" about Boone and Locke. I love his b*tchiness.
:D I love his b*tchiness too. He's so mean to everyone! He doesn't make exceptions and that's why the recaps are so funny.

:D :p I know he doesn't like slash... he's a straight guy and no straight guy will like [or admit he likes ;)] slash, but is funny how he acknowledges it and makes snarkastic comments about it.

Daniel's great but i gotta admit i'm still missing Dan Kwa :D

Btw, thanks for the explanation about the Archie/etc comment! Now i'm joining the other that asked ¿who did she pick?

[shipperfey]

Btw, thanks for the explanation about the Archie/etc comment! Now i'm joining the other that asked ¿who did she pick?

I want to know too, I googled it but couldn't find any concrete info :(

ETA: New Dave recaplet, this is funny:

Libby encourages him to dump it all out, instead of, you know, SHARING it with people..... Sawyer implores everybody to be civil about the scavenging, which is kind of like Ana-Lucia imploring Sayid not to shoot someone.

Not Jate but then again there half a Jate scene last night so we can't blame TWoP now can we?

[chick]

Thanks! :hug2: So, who did Veronica choose at the end? Archie or Reggie? :D


LOL, I think it's still on going. I kinda remember Archie liking both Veronica and Betty too.


Check out this link for more info:
http://www.geocities.com/Heartland/6067/learn.html

[Steph]

lol yeah the bit about "anan-lucia encouraging sayid not to shoot someone - and then that happnes" lol - amazing - he realy is funny - and the slash bit ? :giggle:

[Lin]

From the Dave-episode:

Kate's there too, because she loves Jack again now, like she should just carry a sign around with her at all times, with a picture of Sawyer on one side and a picture of Jack on the other, to denote her status. Jack decides that Locke does indeed have a hairline fracture, and he'll have to be off his feet for a couple of weeks. He starts to say that there's a wheelchair, and Locke is all, "I know! I mean, 'no'! No wheelchair!" Essentially. Jack and Kate are kind of surprised by his outburst, so Kate suggests the crutches they found in the fuselage, which Locke agrees to, so Kate scurries off to get them. :w00t:

Kate's on the beach, leaning on the crutches she was supposedly getting for Locke. No rush, princess, he just can't WALK or anything. But hearing the story of Hurley pummeling Sawyer is too much for her to pass up. "Try to contain yourself, Freckles," snaps Sawyer, who's busy trying to put his tent back up. Kate, smiling, says she's just concerned because it looks like Sawyer got his ass kicked. Sawyer's really not interested in examining that particular angle, suggesting if Kate doesn't have an adventure somewhere to get to: "I think Timmy fell down a well over that way." Kate also wonders why Hurley would do that, like isn't there a whole host of reasons that any one of the Lostaways could use as excuses for attacking Sawyer? If Kate wants a reason, how about "karma"? Kate just doesn't know why he'd do that for no reason. Sawyer tells her to just go off and have her giggle, but to steer clear of Hurley. "The man is crazy." And he don't mean crazy in love. Think you might want to bring Locke his crutches now, Kate?:giggle:

[ukjaterlover!]

They are so funny! Thanx for posting!

[Steph]

yay ! i just read them! gotta love TWOP! :D damn right she loves jack again!!

[whispervixen]

From the Dave-episode:
Kate's there too, because she loves Jack again now, like she should just carry a sign around with her at all times, with a picture of Sawyer on one side and a picture of Jack on the other, to denote her status.


:rotflol:

I love the TWOP reviwes. I used to read the X Files ones they posted. Man, they really ripped the crap outta seasons 8 and 9 of that shsow. Bloody hilarious tho :giggle: .

[Lin]

From the tumbnail-sketch of SOS:

Jack and Kate head out into the jungle with the intent to let the Others know they have Faux Henry, and hope to work out a deal to get Walt back, whoever that is. Along the way they get caught in a trap designed to press their taut, sweaty bodies up against each other. They have no luck finding the Others; they're greeted, instead, by a worse-for-wear Michael, whoever that is. :rotflol: I can't wait to read the whole recap of the net-scene...!

[ukjaterlover!]

Oh thts so funny. Thanx for tht!

[Born_To_JATE]

TwoP cracks me up SO much! before i got season 1 on dvd, i read a lot of the episode recaps there and i could not stop laughing! :giggle: the jate stuff is awesome too... :D

[beccaj_wsl]

just to put in some of my fovourite twop quotes, because i actually have the ones that really cracked me up saved on my computer. and i promise i am keeping to the subject, because some of them do actually contain jate.

Jack asks her to sew him up, and when she's dubious, notes that it's cool; he's a doctor. I like thinking of this as an all-purpose justification for pretty much anything you might ask someone to do. "Could you please place this Butterball turkey on your head? I'm a doctor, I'd do it myself, but my hands aren't clean."

Jack also realizes if he's gonna ask anyone their name, it might as well be the hot chick who thinks he's awesome as opposed to the big dude who looks like Harry Knowles. ( hehe just a little bit of first impression jate)
Then, KATANG! There's some big clanky monster out in the jungle stomping palm trees in the dark. There's been a lot of speculation as to what the monster is, but don't worry -- I figured it out. It's the Iron Giant, who's been reassembling himself on this island for fifty years and has decided that not being a gun is for saps. The Iron Giant is gonna bust some heads.
(Oh, spoiler alert, by the way. Don't read the preceding paragraph if you don't want to know what the monster is.)

Charlie stumbles out of the woods, scaring Kate, who responds to being frightened by lying down on top of Charlie. Is this an actual trait of the real Kate Beckinsale? 'Cause if so, I'm gonna sneak up on her and scare her until a judge tells me I can't anymore. (this really made me laugh, mainly because that was the first thing i noticed when i watched the pilot. who does respond to being scared by lying down directly on top of them......and btw dan kwa calls kate, kate bekinsale because he believes he looks just like her if anyone doesnt know that already:p )

A snoozing Kate is awakened by a gruff Outback farmer pointing a shotgun at her. "You're sleepin' in my sheep pen," he says. Hey, that's Australian for a pick-up line! And Foster's is Australian for beer
"Everyone deserves a fresh start," Farmer Hoggett adds, which is Australian for "I am about to come into a great deal of money."

Sleeping arrangements: Shannon sleeps by Boone, God's Friggin' Gift to Humanity. Jin sleeps holding Sun. Sayid, Kate, and Jack sleep alone. Claire and Hurley sleep near each other, which is sweet. I imagine she's trying to protect her baby from predators by sleeping next to the only castaway likely to be a slower runner than her. When my attractive lawyer wife was about three years old, she watched The Wizard of Oz and became convinced that the Wicked Witch of the West would visit her house during the night. For over a year after the viewing of that film, she refused to sleep in her own bed, instead sleeping at the foot of her brother's crib. Her parents thought it was adorable that she was protecting her baby brother, but she later revealed that she was sleeping there on the grounds that if the witch showed up, she'd probably kill the helpless infant first, giving my wife time to run away.

Sayid insists, "Surely there must be something you're not telling us?" Surely every screenwriter must know by now that to have a character start a sentence with "surely" is to inspire the irrational expectation in audiences that another character will respond, "Don't call me Shirley"? (that made me laugh purely because i did that exact thing when i saw this episode)
Kate tells him that her dad was in the Army and would take her on tracking trips through the Washington state forest: "Being in the woods was like his religion." Jack's dad had a religion, too! Well, not a religion so much as an addiction. He was like a chocoholic, but for booze!

Charlie watches the group making their plans, and since he doesn't know Kate's past, he's probably thinking, "Oh, a bird gets to go but I don't? Wankers. Lorry, flat, telly." And so forth. (that only made me laugh cos im english)

Sayid is trying to catch up with Shannon and/or Locke. Kate and Jack are not far behind, but Jack collapses to the ground and Kate comes back for him (despite the fact that he "heroically" tells her to go on without him). (daniels not keen on anyone really)

"His name's Conner," he tells her, and Conner will be 22 months next week. Kate says he's beautiful, which Tom attributes to Rachel. "Where is she?" asks Kate, even if the top she's wearing might cause Tom to answer, "Where is who?" Instead, he says Rachel's visiting her folks in Cedar Rapids and gets back on Sunday.
“do you really think I’m capable of that” Kate's killed people; Jack knows that she says she killed the man she loved, and although he doesn't necessarily know the details, he knows she was under armed escort by a federal marshal. But mainly, he KNOWS THAT SHE RECENTLY DRUGGED HIM, so when he says he doesn't know what she's capable of, let's assume that he means he doesn't know the upper limit of what she's capable of, because she's certainly capable of and experienced in DRUGGING PEOPLE.

But still he doesn't answer, so she tries being even nosier. "So your dad died, huh?" she says, and Jack says he thought she didn't hear what he was yelling about. "I was being polite," she says, so I guess Lost takes place in a universe that's slightly parallel to ours; everything's the same, except "polite" means exactly the opposite what it means it our universe. (another reason why im not a fan of Jana, ana lucia is waaaaaaaay to forward!)

But Kate has strolled up and wants to carry some dynamite. Jack makes his "oh great, the broad expects equal status in our island society" face.

"Why do you want to get down there so bad?" asks Kate, and Locke actually has the nerve to correct her grammar with a "bad-ly." You know, she's killed people, Locke. I'm just saying.

Ana-Lucia does that loud, over-enunciation thing you do when you're an asshole and you're talking to someone you think is stupid because they don't speak English: "Does it look like I speak Korean?" she yells. No, but you're clearly fluent in Ugly American. (only found this funny cos im not an ana fan:D )

Oh good, more on the lost ring. Sun's talking to Hurley. I don't want to start a whole thing here, but shouldn't she bring Charlie in on the ring quest?

On the off chance you don't actually watch the show, preferring instead to read and scroll for about the same length of time (in which case, bless you), I'll try not to give it away before it actually happens, okay? I'll just let the show do the storytelling, which it does in its usual manner, i.e. focusing on one major character for the A-plot and flashbacks. And hopefully I won't say anything that identifies who dies.
So we open with Shannon…
Oh, damn. Sorry about that.

"They got you a cake. Try and act surprised," says Captain Foxy Mama. I don't think Mama's a killjoy for blowing Ana-Lucia's surprise. After all, Shannon knows what happens when you surprise Ana-Lucia; I think Captain Foxy just didn't want to lose any officers in a welcome-back-party massacre. (there are many references to the fact that ana likes to shoots people haha)

"Heard about you and Danny," says Super Trooper. "Want me to go kick his ass for you?" She says nah. "It's better this way," she says. Did she shoot him? Until I hear otherwise, I'm going to assume she shot him.

Sawyer starts muttering, so Kate comes over so she can hear. It would have killed me if this time he said, "Where is he?" and "I love him,"

Sawyer says, "Last chance, Doc," and intensifies the glare. Jack's all "later!" and strolls off; Sawyer seethes two holes into his back, thinking, "I wish I knew how to quit you." (i will never get tired of brokeback mountain jokes)

"We should take a look around…with guns," says Ana-Lucia. Yeah, it's been days since she shot anybody; she must be going crazy. You know how when you read the fortune in a fortune cookie but add "…in bed" to the end of it to make it more entertaining? I think Ana-Lucia probably adds "…with guns" to the end of her sentences for the same reason: "We should go clubbing…with guns." "This week is a good time for you to make some decisions…with guns."

while Jack tells Eko to be careful what he says to Henry. "He's smart and curious. Just give us a shout when you're done." For some reason it kills me that Jack warns Eko that Henry is "curious."

"I didn't tell anyone, Ana," says Jack, and Ana's all, "No worries, man," and walks off, and Jack checks her out. Locke looks at the two of them, and we cut, presumably before Locke says, "You hittin' that?"

whoa...sorry its so long but i didnt have much to do:D


and i cant wait for the sos recap!!

[ukjaterlover!]

Yeah me either! Bring it on!

[Natih]

Along the way they get caught in a trap designed to press their taut, sweaty bodies up against each other.

hahahaahahahahahahhaahha...that totally cracks me up!!

[Steph]

^ i just read that ! :crackup: it's great cant wait to read the whole recap!

[Larissa]

Yeah, I can't wait for the SOS recap, especially if Daniel writes it.

From The Moth episode:
Maybe Locke came by and explained to everybody that they could help Jack and Charlie by widening a hole for them, but they'll be stronger if they make it out themselves.

And this one from Collision has got to be one of my favourites:
Michael tries to intervene, and Ana-Lucia fires a warning shot and manages not to kill anybody (THAT WE CAN SEE).

A snoozing Kate is awakened by a gruff Outback farmer pointing a shotgun at her. "You're sleepin' in my sheep pen," he says. Hey, that's Australian for a pick-up line! And Foster's is Australian for beer
"Everyone deserves a fresh start," Farmer Hoggett adds, which is Australian for "I am about to come into a great deal of money."

:crackup:

LMAO. How freakin' hilarious.

[ukjaterlover!]

Thanx for those, I hadn't read those ones. Very funny!

[shipperfey]

I was reading TWoP Lost reviews in bed last night (off my cellphone) and I kept laughing so hard my S.O. was about ready to kick me in the shin lol. To make matters worse he was watching Finding Neverland and it was the really sad part and I couldn't help but laugh at one of the comments...

TWoP rocks.

[Heinzy]

ah jate :giggle:

[guavaseeds]

ah Jate. How I've missed those ahhhh Jate moments. TwoP is hilarious!

[ukjaterlover!]

Is the SOS one up yet?

[Steph]

no, they normally come up the following wed - but the recap is up now :)

[Heinzy]

hehe, ah jate :giggle: SO perfect...

[ukjaterlover!]

no, they normally come up the following wed - but the recap is up now :)

Thanx for tht Steph!

[~Paula~]

:D Can't wait for the SOS recap...

:rotflol: Loved this line: "Ana-Lucia's taking apart a gun, which for her is like some kind of lovemaking."

"Hurley says he needs some clonazepam. Since it's not a treatment for venereal disease, Sawyer hasn't heard of it." :crackup:

I also liked this one: "So Dave slaps him. Hurley thinks maybe he just imagined Dave slapped him, so Dave slaps him again and says they could do this all night. Hurley should introduce Dave to Sawyer, is what I'm thinking."

[guavaseeds]

hahaha, you gotta love TwoP!

[Nokoolaidforme]

"Hurley says he needs some clonazepam. Since it's not a treatment for venereal disease, Sawyer hasn't heard of it." :crackup:

Soooo tempted to put that in my sig, lol. Ah that crazy VD carrying bastard. Gotta love him. :shifty:

[redsoxfan90210]

omg, i love twop!
Jack's applying pressure to Sawyer's wound while Sawyer says a number of rude things, including: telling Jack he knows Jack wants to let him die; reminding Kate they "made out"; and telling Jack that if the tables were turned, he'd watch him bleed to death. Why don't they gag him now, while they have the chance?


LMAO! God, sawyer is such a friggin moron...

[Heinzy]

^LMAO!!! aww TWOP's gr8 lol

[DoctorsPatient]

TWOP is classic i love their recaps - i havent read the lockedown/dave/sos ones *runs to read*

[Celon]

Anyway, Kate's quite happy that Jack's finally asking her along on one of his expeditions that usually result in people getting kidnapped or killed, so she says she'll get her things.

In the jungle, Jack and Kate still somehow have their clothes on. Kate says that she's flattered Jack chose her for the journey instead of Sawyer, because she's got to praise Jack like she should.

"Sorry," says Kate meekly. "Sorry" don't get people out of nets, Kate.



I love TWoP soo much!! :w00t:

[IslandofMystery]

Ahh great stuff! *goes to read the rest*

[ukjaterlover!]

Love it!

[Natih]

S.O.S recap:D...Bunch of Jate

Sawyer and Kate are playing in a tide pool or something
on the beach, so I guess she likes him again.
She's, I don't know, digging mussels out?
Who cares? He's just watching her, and making fun of
how that's "four in the last half-hour" and he should call
"the Guinness Book," so she finally asks him if he's going
to help, because if not she's got "better things to do,
" as if. I think he should call the Guinness people,
because how hilarious would it be when they get the
new edition and look for Kate in there and instead
find a new entry for "world's biggest asshole"? :rotflol:

Sawyer glances off to his right, and sees Jack doing his
robo-stride over. "Oh happy day. Here comes Dr. Giggles,"
says Sawyer. Jack says "hey," looking at Kate, and Sawyer
says, "Hey, yourself," even though Jack wasn't talking to
him. In fact, Jack barely glances at Sawyer at all, and
tells Kate that he's heading out to the jungle to find
"our friend with the beard" and see about making a trade.
Sawyer stands up, and smugly surmises that Jack's inviting
him along because he needs a gun. Jack allows himself to
enjoy, just slightly, telling Sawyer that he's inviting
Kate, and he's already got a gun. "How in the hell'd you
get a gun?" Jack asks Sawyer if it matters. Apparently not
to Jack; did he even ask where Ana-Lucia got hers? Well,
I guess he might know she disarmed Sayid. Did he ask Sayid
where he got it? And did Sayid tell him he got it from
Charlie? And did Jack ask Charlie where he got it?
And did Charlie's part in Sawyer's scheme come to light?
Never mind.
Anyway, Kate's quite happy that Jack's finally asking her
along on one his expeditions that usually result in people
getting kidnapped or killed, so she says she'll get her
things. And the two of them walk off together, with Sawyer
looking much chagrined. Score one for Jack:w00t:.

In the jungle, Jack and Kate still somehow have their
clothes on.:rotflol: Kate says that she's flattered Jack chose her
for the journey instead of Sawyer, because she's got to
praise Jack like she should. Too bad Jack pisses all over
that, saying he asked Sayid first, but Sayid said no,
which doesn't sound like something Sayid would say.
"And I only asked you, because they don't want you.
They grabbed you, held you at gunpoint…they could have
kept you, but didn't." Jack sure knows how to make a girl
feel wanted:rotflol:.The look on Kate's face suggests to me that
she didn't realize her brush with Others should be a
self-esteem issue for her, but there you go.
"Then again, they didn't really want me either,"
he says, and Kate calls them both "damaged goods"
with a wry smile. They continue, but Kate has spotted
a trap -- or, I mean, a doll, and she wanders over to
very naively pick it up, despite Jack's protests.
He runs over to her just as she picks it up;
this enables them to both be swept up in the net
that hoists them into the air. "Sorry," says Kate meekly.
"Sorry" don't get people out of nets, Kate.

So they're swinging in the air, face to face and genitals
to genitals, and Jack asks if Kate's okay. She says she is.
"Oh good, so you can hear me,"
he says. Hee!:D They both agree that this trap isn't
"sophisticated" enough to be the Others', so it must
be one of Rousseau's. And this scene goes on for about
a hundred years, with Jack struggling to reach the gun,
which fortunately he tucked into his waistband above his
backside, only he can't reach it, so Kate grabs it, taking
great pains not to shoot off his ass. And they bicker
about who's going to try to shoot the rope that's holding
them up, with Kate taking the first shot and missing by
about a foot and a half. So Jack wants to try, and of
course the doctor is a crack shot, and the net comes
crashing down in such a way that Kate winds up on top of
Jack. Pardon me, but Evangeline Lilly's from Alberta.
Girl knows how to shoot a gun, I guarantee.

In the jungle, things are about to get dramatic, which we
know because it's raining. Jack asks what Kate meant when
she said the Others were sophisticated or whatever, and she
fills him in on her excursion with Claire
(she doesn't mention Rousseau)
where they went into the jungle and found another hatch:
"Like a medical station. There's nothing you can use, it
was all cleared out." She explains about the lockers, with the
ratty clothes and the makeup kit and fake beard. Jack wants to
know when she was going to tell him this. Kate says, "When you
decided to let me back in the club," and complains about not
being told about Faux Henry, because everybody has to act
like children on this stupid island

Fortunately, the bickering gets interrupted because Jack
realizes they've come to the clearing where the Others
took a shot at Sawyer (and unfortunately missed).
"Right over there was where they pushed you out of
the jungle with the bag on your head," he says,
because she might need her memory jogged about that happening.:rotflol:

So he starts yelling out to the trees that he's back, and he's
got their man, and if they want him back they're
going to have to come on out. Kate tries to get him to
calm down, but he's too busy yelling at the spin-cam.
"I know you're out there! I know you can hear me!" and so forth.
"Jack, they're not here," says Kate, but Jack keeps yelling about
how he'll be right there and he knows what they did last summer:rotflol:

In the jungle, Jack and Kate are not cuddling by the fire.
"How long are you going to wait, Jack?' says Kate, who looks
bored to tears. "Until I get my voice back. Then I'm going to yell
some more." Well, that'll be entertaining. Kate looks around,
and then suggests that maybe they can't hear him, but Jack
confidently says they can.

After a moment, Kate switches subjects entirely:
"I'm sorry I kissed you," she says. Just what every
guy loves to hear. Jack seems to take it not as a statement
of actual regret so much as an acknowledgement that maybe the
circumstances aren't right for them to start thinking about doing
the Humpty Dance, which I think is probably right, and he thinks
for a moment and comes up with the perfect response: "I'm not."
They gaze into each other's eyes for a moment,:D and then there's
the sound of movement in the bush.

[shipperfey]

Yes TWoP rocks my socks...

More favorites from SOS recap:


Jack allows himself to enjoy, just slightly, telling Sawyer that he's inviting Kate, and he's already got a gun. "How in the hell'd you get a gun?" Jack asks Sawyer if it matters. Apparently not to Jack; did he even ask where Ana-Lucia got hers? Well, I guess he might know she disarmed Sayid. Did he ask Sayid where he got it? And did Sayid tell him he got it from Charlie? And did Jack ask Charlie where he got it? And did Charlie's part in Sawyer's scheme come to light? Never mind.



"What, you got union trouble down at the sand factory, Norma Rae?" Sawyer's delivered his witty quip for the week, so his scene will soon be done. Bernard pleads for his help one more time, and Sawyer says, "Pasadena," which I guess is his way of saying, "Pass," or is perhaps another place where he contracted a venereal disease. Or, most likely, both.



So they're swinging in the air, face to face and genitals to genitals, and Jack asks if Kate's okay. She says she is. "Oh good, so you can hear me," he says. Hee!



Fortunately, the bickering gets interrupted because Jack realizes they've come to the clearing where the Others took a shot at Sawyer (and unfortunately missed).




So he starts yelling out to the trees that he's back, and he's got their man, and if they want him back they're going to have to come on out. Kate tries to get him to calm down, but he's too busy yelling at the spin-cam. "I know you're out there! I know you can hear me!" and so forth. "Jack, they're not here," says Kate, but Jack keeps yelling about how he'll be right there and he knows what they did last summer.


Not Jate or anti-Sawyer but I thought it was funny:


Ana-Lucia comes in and looks at Locke, and she's got hungry eyes. One look at Locke and she can't disguise.



A much leaner-looking Vincent strolls up while Sawyer chomps on some food, because a dog is the only person who will give Sawyer any attention anymore. As dogs go, Vincent's quite subtle about the begging, but noted animal lover Sawyer scowls and gives him some food because, oh right, he's a big softie at heart.



"I'm sorry I kissed you," she says. Just what every guy loves to hear. Jack seems to take it not as a statement of actual regret so much as an acknowledgement that maybe the circumstances aren't right for them to start thinking about doing the Humpty Dance, which I think is probably right, and he thinks for a moment and comes up with the perfect response: "I'm not."

[IslandofMystery]

That's brilliant!! I love TWoP!!

[MrsShephard]

but Jack keeps yelling about how he'll be right there and he knows what they did last summer.

As dogs go, Vincent's quite subtle about the begging, but noted animal lover Sawyer scowls and gives him some food because, oh right, he's a big softie at heart.

It's official: I WANT TO HAVE DANIEL'S SNARKY BABIES! (I'm assuming it's his recap)

Ana-Lucia comes in and looks at Locke, and she's got hungry eyes. One look at Locke and she can't disguise.

:crackup: So I wasn't the only one, huh? Cause I know she's probably going to end up hittin' Sawyer, but still... that was her "hittin' that" look allright.

[ukjaterlover!]

Thanx for tht guys its so funny!

[WhiterRabbit]

I don't think Daniel gave the net scene enough weight. He focused too much on the bickering going on rather than the two characters struggling to fight their attraction to each other, but I think he nailed the ending campfire scene perfectly.

[Heinzy]

Lmao!!!

[MrsShephard]

I don't think Daniel gave the net scene enough weight. He focused too much on the bickering going on rather than the two characters struggling to fight their attraction to each other, but I think he nailed the ending campfire scene perfectly.

Well, Daniel is not exactly known as a helpless romantic. I was surprised to see he liked the campfire scene so much and I suspect he's actually enjoying Jack/Kate more than he does Sawyer/Kate (I'll get over my hatered for ship names. Someday. I promise...) However, withering sarcasm is what I expect from him and I LOVE that he's equally brutal on everyone. Well... except for Charlie. He's his punching bag but he makes it so funny, he's managed to convert me into a Charlie hater. Nah, kidding...

[Heinzy]

ahhh jate :giggle:

[georgiapeach81]

genitals
to genitals

:giggle:

[Foxy<3]

So they're swinging in the air, face to face and genitals to genitals,

:crackup::rotflol:
lmao

[whispervixen]

Well... except for Charlie. He's his punching bag but he makes it so funny, he's managed to convert me into a Charlie hater. Nah, kidding...

he really does hae Charile, but it's hilarious :D ! I loved what he had to say about him in the What Kate Did review:

Before Jack can snap at him again, we cut to Kate strolling through the jungle, and she's not so upset that a little chat with Charlie can't make her feel even worse. The little hobbit comes running up and tells her that she missed the funeral. She tells him she was with Sawyer, which he accepts. "A few of them came," says Charlie. "The new people. Not her, the one who killed Shannon. That would have been awkward." As awkward as this dialogue? Charlie says the Tailaways seem to have had a "rough time" of it, as opposed to themselves, for whom it's been smooth goddamn sailing, apparently. "Looks like they went bloody Lord of the Flies out there," he says, referencing easily the greatest novel ever to begin with "Lord of the…" Then he notices that she's not paying attention to him, which you'd think he'd get used to at some point. She asks him if he thinks there are horses here, because she saw one. Charlie says he's seen polar bears and heard monsters, but no horses.


:rotflol:

[DoctorsPatient]

aww i love TWOP :)

[Heinzy]

Lmao!

[shipperfey]

Another bit from S.O.S. that I love:


Kate says that she's flattered Jack chose her for the journey instead of Sawyer, because she's got to praise Jack like she should. Too bad Jack pisses all over that, saying he asked Sayid first, but Sayid said no, which doesn't sound like something Sayid would say.


Yeah no kidding. It's definitely something Sayid wouldn't say... which means Jack lied again because he didn't want Kate to know she was his first choice the whole time... awww.

[ukjaterlover!]

Awww I hadn't thought of tht. Awsome!

[Heinzy]

awwww i like the way u look at things...pssst! hey sophie!

[Jate815]

Jack hands her the bottle of vodka; she looks as if she'd enjoy drinking it, but instead pours it on her hands per Jack's instructions. She looks at the sewing kit he scrounged from a dead person's luggage and says, "Any color preference?" Rather than asking her to weave him a rainbow friendship bracelet in his back skin, he says that black is fine.


I love TWOP it's hilarious

[dorgin]

I know I did. Hey I'm new here you should congratulate me :)

[Jate815]

They establish that the cockpit might be mauka of them, and decide to look for it tomorrow. Jack also realizes if he's gonna ask anyone their name, it might as well be the hot chick who thinks he's awesome as opposed to the big dude who looks like Harry Knowles. It turns out Fake Kate's name is Kate, which is a little confusing until you realize the character is actually Kate Beckinsale herself!
Kate and Jack head out into the jungle with Charlie to find the cockpit, but not before Kate robs a corpse for some nice hiking boots. ["Typical Beckinsale." -- Wing Chun] This scene really works in deepening Kate's character, because I imagine that Kate Beckinsale typically has an assistant to do her corpse-robbing for her. She gets an orange-peel smile from the old ruminatin' guy, who first looks like a boxer wearing a mouth guard and then, while he finishes the orange, like an orangutan. For what it's worth, I didn't think there was anything creepy about the orange; I thought it was cute. Not like the dog. That dog is creepy.
In a clearing, they find pilot's wings in a puddle. Looking up, they try to make sense of an odd shape in the treetops -- Dominic Monaghan does a funny head-tilt here -- and then Jack, trudging out of the woods, tells them it's the pilot. Kate runs to Jack and gives him the kind of non-hug that characters who really love each other give each other in movies set before 1900, which is to say she gets really close to him and breathy and looks into his eyes but doesn't actually touch him.

God i love it!!!

[Jate815]

welcome lol

[ukjaterlover!]

I know I did. Hey I'm new here you should congratulate me :)

Hello and welcome :hug:

[Larissa]

Baha, I love TWoP. I'd marry it if I could.
Oh and Daniel's awesome and hilarious. Yeah he mocks everyone pretty equally, except for Charlie and Sawyer, he comes down pretty hard on them. Especially Charlie. Which is always entertaining. I wouldn't say Daniel is a shipper. But it's obvious he'd rather watch Jate scenes rather than Skate scenes. Just read his recap for The Moth and Hearts and Minds. Though it's most likely just his hatred for Sawyer, FOR EXAMPLE :

A much leaner-looking Vincent strolls up while Sawyer chomps on some food, because a dog is the only person who will give Sawyer any attention anymore. As dogs go, Vincent's quite subtle about the begging, but noted animal lover Sawyer scowls and gives him some food because, oh right, he's a big softie at heart.

Hurley says he needs some clonazepam. Since it's not a treatment for venereal disease, Sawyer hasn't heard of it.

Sawyer and Kate are playing in a tide pool or something on the beach, so I guess she likes him again. She's, I don't know, digging mussels out? Who cares? He's just watching her, and making fun of how that's "four in the last half-hour" and he should call "the Guinness Book," so she finally asks him if he's going to help, because if not she's got "better things to do, " as if. I think he should call the Guinness people, because how hilarious would it be when they get the new edition and look for Kate in there and instead find a new entry for "world's biggest asshole"?

Fortunately, the bickering gets interrupted because Jack realizes they've come to the clearing where the Others took a shot at Sawyer (and unfortunately missed).

But sh*t, that makes things worse, if you ask me. He told her about the scam and got her out of harm's way? He could have done that and let her keep the money. He didn't. He conned her. He's a bigger prick than Charlie is.

Meanwhile, Kate's smiling, thinking, "I forgot how much better 'doctor who's concerned for the well-being of others' is than 'racist con man always looking to screw everybody.'"

[ukjaterlover!]

I love those they are soooo funny!

[Steph]

Are the Two for the road recaps up yet ? God he hated that Ana shot people h'es gonna have a field day with this one! lol

[ukjaterlover!]

I dunno if there up yet, but I am sure they will be hillarious!

[Larissa]

The Two For The Road recap's up now for those who don't know yet :
http://www.televisionwithoutpity.com/story.cgi?show=136&story=9280&page=1&sort=&limit=all

[Nokoolaidforme]

Buwhahaha

The answer is "stick my tongue down your throat," which is what Ana-Lucia does. They kiss for a moment, and Sawyer breaks it off, surprised. Then he goes back for more, and they roll around on the jungle floor. And then off come the shirts, and the camera pans down to Sawyer's gun, on the ground, and I'm sure it'll still be there when all is said and done. And let's just hope that whatever Sawyer picked up in Tallahassee stayed in Tallahassee, or at the very least that Sawyer has scavenged some condoms.

Back on Craphole Island, Ana-Lucia's getting dressed and notices Sawyer watching her. "Don't you want my phone number?" he says. She's not in the mood for jokes. "You tell anybody about this? I'll kill you," she says. God, does that take me back to my dating days. "Guess that takes cuddling off the table," says Sawyer, as Ana-Lucia strolls away without even asking if he's got any RU-486 in his stash.

[ukjaterlover!]

Cool thanx for the link and quotes!

[Steph]

i read up to page nine and then there was an error :( which sucks - sos i didn't get to read what he said about ana and libby yet ....

[DoctorsPatient]

hehe this is from Three Minutes -

Over in Sawyer's tent, he and Jack are pulling the guns out of Sawyer's hidden box. Sawyer's got a bottle of booze too, that he shakes in Jack's direction. Jack ignores the alcohol, like it's been a long season for Matthew Fox and he just can't wait for the break so he can't even stay in character and have a drink? "Here I was thinking the Irish drink when somebody dies," says Sawyer, and he takes a swig. Jack says he's not Irish, and Sawyer smirks that neither is he. But maybe he needs the courage to ask Jack about what happened with him and Kate out in the jungle all night before they found Michael. "We were caught in a net," says Jack. Sawyer suspiciously asks what the hell that's supposed to mean, as if it isn't likely to be literally true on this island. "It means we got caught in a net," repeats Jack, and Sawyer asks if that's what they're calling it these days, as if Jack would have been able to resist letting Sawyer know he and Kate went in for a little rumpy-bumpy out there.

Back on the beach, Michael's putting some food in his backpack, and Sawyer strolls up. "Got some good news for you. Captain Ay-rab's in too. Cavalry rides at sunrise. I've got plenty of supplies and have spent the past few hours jotting down enough nicknames for everybody so that I never have to call you the same thing twice." Michael's less than thrilled that Sawyer told Sayid about the sortie. "Oh, well, I'm sorry. I just figure if we're going to war, we'd want the one guy who's actually been in a war! That a problem?" snaps Sawyer. Michael FINALLY seems to think about how his behaviour might be considered strange, and mumbles that it's not a problem. "Well, all right then," says Sawyer, who usually is able to think up more witty exit lines than that. Michael glares holes in his back. That means it is a problem!


Sawyer, listen to me: Kate and Jack literally GOT CAUGHT IN A NET. But at least Jack takes his meaning, and asks why Sawyer's telling him this. Bragging? "Because you're about the closest thing I got to a friend, doc," saws Sawyer, which makes me feel really sorry for Sawyer. "And because she's gone," he says, sliding a bullet into the chamber. Right, because she threatened to kill you if you told anyone, but that threat's been removed, huh? Jack manages not to burst out laughing. But Sawyer's not done. "Well, at least now we get to kill somebody," he says, and pumps his rifle, which is not a euphemism.


"We need you to bring them here. You have to bring only these four people, Michael. Just them. If you don't bring all the people on the list, you'll never see Walt again." I'm going out on a limb here and guessing: Sun, Charlie, Claire, Rose? Michael agrees, but wants to know what he's supposed to tell them. "Doesn't matter. Make up a story. They'll be angry enough to believe whatever you say," she says. More like they'll be stupid enough to believe whatever he says. She gives him the list. "Who's 'James Ford'?" asks Michael, and Klugh says he knows James as "Sawyer," and confirms he knows the rest of them. They are: Jack Shephard, Kate Austen and Hugo Reyes. Shit, I was way off. Michael says he does and she puts the piece of paper in his breast pocket. And he's got one more condition for doing this for them. If he does what they say… "You get your son back. You both go free," she says. Michael thinks it over. "Then I want the boat," he says. Whether she agrees to this, we don't see.

Jack "Stone Cold" Shephard is giving Ana-Lucia's eulogy, which is too bad. Could be worse. Could be Sawyer. Actually, come to think of it, Sawyer standing up there and saying, "I screwed her," would be kind of awesome. Jack says Ana-Lucia was a cop before the plane crash. "I don't think it was easy for her, being here, but she did the best she could." As opposed to how easy it's been for EVERYONE ELSE to be there, apparently. But it only gets worse, as Jack says Ana was a woman of few words, so he's going to follow her example. "Rest in peace, Ana," he says, and I'm halfway surprised Ana doesn't rise from the dead to kick Jack in the nuts for that crappy eulogy. Then Jack glares over at Michael, like nice poker face, Jack. But Michael doesn't notice.


Wow TWOP is really evil! ! ! ! ! ! !

[ukjaterlover!]

Thanx for posting. Tht was quite funny as always!

[ibis]

Oh man... :crackup: :crackup: I can't believe I just found this thread, it's been going for like, how long?? THE BEST. rolfmaool.


May fave bits:


"We should take a look around…with guns," says Ana-Lucia. Yeah, it's been days since she shot anybody; she must be going crazy. You know how when you read the fortune in a fortune cookie but add "…in bed" to the end of it to make it more entertaining? I think Ana-Lucia probably adds "…with guns" to the end of her sentences for the same reason: "We should go clubbing…with guns." "This week is a good time for you to make some decisions…with guns."

In the jungle, things are about to get dramatic, which we
know because it's raining.

Kate tries to get him to
calm down, but he's too busy yelling at the spin-cam.
"I know you're out there! I know you can hear me!" and so forth.
"Jack, they're not here," says Kate, but Jack keeps yelling about
how he'll be right there and he knows what they did last summer


Jack looks somewhat chastened, but he doesn't say anything. He just leaves, and we watch Kate crying for what feels like about five hours. You know, maybe the way-more-complicated-than-it-needed-to-be bank heist makes a little more sense, in light of Kate's actions this episode. Because how does this sound to everyone: "Hey, Jack, Sawyer's got a briefcase that belonged to the marshal, and it contains a bunch of stuff like guns and money, but there's also a trinket that's of great sentimental importance to me, and I'd really like your help getting it back"? Seems to me like that would have worked just fine. [ Completely agree!!!]

Then they notice a strobe light pulsating in the jungle a little ways away, and they decide to investigate, perhaps in hopes that after such successful ventures as the golf tournament and the feast, Hurley's organized a rave.

[Larissa]

Ha! How awesome is Daniel?
The Three Minutes recap is hilarious. Not the best, but hilarious nonetheless.

Charlie demonstrates firing the injector into his leg, saying it's quite painless. She's suspicious of how he knows so much about that, and he explains that he tried it, to make sure it was safe for her and the baby. And not because when it comes to injectable chemicals, Charlie's up for anything. Claire accepts this, though, and asks how Charlie feels. He feels fine. And yes, because Charlie appears to not have any weeping sores or ear bleeding, at least not that I can see, I as a new mother will totally accept that it's OKAY TO FIRE A PNEUMATIC VACCINE GUN INTO MY NEWBORN. Charlie says the bottles say to inject every nine days, so there's enough for Claire and Aaron for a while.

Oh, man, I didn't know how good we had it, because now Hurley's going to give Libby's eulogy. It takes him forever to explain that she was a psychiatrist, or a psychologist, one of those, and she probably helped a lot of people, including him. Kate rubs his back. There, there, shut up, Hurley! He burbles on about how she was his friend, and we get to watch Michael squirm, and it's not fair this happened to her, and blah blah, and Hurley looks over at Michael, and says, "I'm going with you." Hurley says goodbye to Libby's body. Kate looks forlorn. Sayid looks like he has man-boobs, which we know he doesn't, so that's some unfortunate Hawaiian sunset lighting right there. Sun and Jin look sad. Claire looks sad, and she takes hold of Charlie's hand. Will Ferrell's got a woman on each arm, and he is totally losing his caesar salad, crying about the injustice of death. He's REALLY broken up. Everybody stands around for a while, wondering how long they have to stand there grieving a couple of people they didn't really know that well.

[Steph]

"We got caught in a net," explains Sawyer. Sawyer, listen to me: Kate and Jack literally GOT CAUGHT IN A NET.

love it ! the guy's a legend! :D

[whispervixen]

Will Ferrell's got a woman on each arm, and he is totally losing his caesar salad, crying about the injustice of death. He's REALLY broken up.

LMAO!!! :rotflol: :rotflol: :giggle: